Who I Am
by Blue Denim 7
Summary: Misaki Takahashi is currently in his third year of college, gaining confidence in his growing relationship with his sexy landlord, and making new friends. But friends aren't always who they seem when you dive deep enough and spot the dark roots within. A story about dealing with the cruelty of prejudices and learning to accept help from the most unusual bunch of people.
1. Chapter 1: Misaki Who?

**Hi everyone. I've been wanting to do this fan fiction thing for a couple years and then chickened out. But I've decided to jump in now before I lose my nerve and now there's no turning back. I hope you readers enjoy my story. I appreciate all reviews especially any advice because there's always room for improvement. Thank you!**

**Warning: Some language.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 1: Misaki Who?**

* * *

_To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction_

_- Newton's Third Law of Motion_

* * *

"This party is lame."

Misaki Takahashi, a twenty-one year old college student, could not have agreed more with his senpai, who at the moment was very drunk.

There were no invitations for this particular get together the two attended, and Misaki could understand why. It was a complete dud.

His friend, Sumi-senpai, had heard about this "great" party, close by and exciting. Misaki was surprisingly reluctant, usually being the one to jump at the chance at a party, but Sumi was adamant about going so he came along.

It resulted in a heated argument over the phone with Usagi-san, his eccentric landlord and lover. The two argued extensively with Misaki fuming at the lack of trust and not being able to go out even though he was already twenty-one, an adult capable of making his own decisions; Usagi-san retaliated by saying the college student would make a fool of himself and could possibly be taken advantage. Furious and slightly hurt Misaki stated he _would _be going to the party and there was absolutely _nothing _Usagi-san could say or do to change his mind.

As a result he and Sumi-senpai took off to the party before Usagi-san could race over in his red sports car. Misaki's phone remained on silent receiving over twelve missed calls before the calls ceased for good.

If the party were any good Misaki might have not felt so guilty arguing with his lover to attend some lame party that he couldn't even drink at. On the other hand he did try to tell the younger male what to do and released the possessive monster residing within him. And the fruits of his success were the job of designated driver (or babysitter), three hours of boredom, and an empty stomach. Sumi obviously invited him to assist the man home when he became completely wasted after doing nothing but drinking tonight.

The party was stale, although at one point things were lively, but everything went downhill after someone knocked over the stereo system. And since the college student was sober the steps before the party deteriorated could be listed. It went something like this...

First the stereo broke.

Then the dancers, the majority girls, left.

With no girls the guys that were planning on getting lucky tonight disappeared.

The alcohol started to run low since there was nothing to do but drink.

And now everyone was drunk save for the few designated drivers, Misaki included. But with so many intoxicated people babbling at each other incoherently Misaki worried a fist fight would break out as their emotions became more and more exaggerated by the minute. Also the shouting from some angry drunks in the next room was audible and the teen watched fellow Sobers gather up their friends preparing to leave. Misaki felt particularly pitiful to a girl with glasses that had to carry out four guys that tripped over their own feet as if standing were the most difficult task in the world. He felt it wise to follow suit and drag his tipsy friend and run. It was past midnight and Sumi-senpai looked about to drop dead.

"Senpai," Misaki said shaking his friend gently. His head rested comfortably against Misaki's shoulder and his glasses slipped off his nose every few seconds. "It's time to go."

"I don't wanna," Sumi groaned languidly turning onto his side away from the teen. If Misaki wasn't so tired he would have found Drunk Sumi quite funny mainly because he'd never seen his senpai so drunk; although the teen had to give credit to the intoxicated man for acting so passive in his state. Misaki probably would have made a fool of himself by spouting out something so embarrassing he'd find the deepest darkest hole in the universe to hide in for the rest of his life.

"Get up, senpai," Misaki said firmly yanking on Sumi' shirt sleeve. The man merely yawned. _He's too heavy!_ Misaki thought, blaming his weak body.

Misaki ran a heavy hand through his brown locks in tired frustration. He attempted to pull Sumi up again, this time successful so the man stood balanced on the balls of his feet dangerously. Unfortunately Sumi began to tilt and Misaki frantically pulled the taller male by his shirt to swing him resulting in Sumi falling back to his original position on the loveseat. His smug smile made Misaki want to tear his own hair out. _Sumi-senpai can be really childish, _he noted.

Misaki sighed again.

"What wrong Misaki?" Sumi said slurring slightly, his face amused. Misaki frowned at his friend's behavior.

"Thinking of Usami-sensei?" Sumi asked suddenly with a lopsided grin looking up at Misaki.

"No," Misaki responded a little too defensibly. He really hadn't. But now that Sumi mentioned Usagi-san, it reminded Misaki of a warm bed and body to return to. The teen's face grew red and Sumi laughed.

"Well I am," Sumi confessed unabashed. Misaki rolled his eyes.

After another couple attempts to pull the heavy load from the party Misaki flopped unceremoniously in defeat on the loveseat. His eyes closed of their own accord for a moment of rest.

"Misaki," Sumi said intending to not allow the kohai rest.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I tried to steal Usami-sensei from you." Misaki's eyes opened in surprise. The two had never spoke about that incident making the younger male wonder why Sumi would bring it up now after all this time. Then the answer hit Misaki: Sumi. Is. Drunk. With so much alcohol in his system Sumi was bound to say whatever was on his mind.

"Oh... Senpai, its okay. That was two years ago you don't need to worry. It's in the past."

"I never apologized." Sumi stressed. A smile graced his lips and he leaned in close to Misaki. "And don't worry. I will not take Usami-sensei without your permission first." Misaki narrowed his eyes at his senpai.

"Did you know you were going to drink so much?" Misaki asked distastefully.

"Yes."

"Is that why you invited me to come?"

"Bingo. Misaki you're so smart."

"UGH!" Misaki groaned. _Sumi-senpai's so mean when he's drunk! _he thought.

"Why do you want to leave so soon? Do you miss your_ Usagi-san_?" Sumi teased. Misaki narrowed his eyes at his senpai giving his best glare. _Two can play at that game, _Misaki thought with a grin.

"Why don't you want to leave, senpai? Lonely?"

"Yes." It wasn't the answer he expected.

"Ah..."

"I'm so lonely," Sumi cried dramatically, but truthfully throwing his long arms around the squirming kohai. "I don't have a handsome author to go home to. Can I _please_ borrow him?" Sumi's breath reeked of alcohol.

Misaki squirmed in the man's hold until finally pushing Sumi away. Sumi in return sank into a ball of depression at the brunette's side silently sulking. He inquired the man's well being but Sumi merely muttered words too low for him to hear.

"Huh?" the brunette asked leaning closer to the man.

"I said we can go now."

Misaki opened his mouth to voice his concern for the man again when a loud crash interrupted him and demanded everyone's attention.

The two angry drunks had stumbled into the room bumping into an expensive looking vase on the way in. Said vase lay shattered on the hard wood floor.

"You think you can call me a bitch and get away with it!" the larger male shouted. He was clearly not as intoxicated as his opponent (he can stand upright), but still buzzed enough to be swayed by his emotions rather than think first. Muscles bulged through his clothing and he could probably crush Misaki's entire head with one hand.

"I can- I can say whatever I want! And if you have a problem with it, then come- come on, bitch!" Muscle Man's challenger was the more intoxicated of the two and sadly much smaller. He stumbled over his own feet yet never took his dark eyes off the giant before him. His hair was a sweaty mess sticking to the pale skin of his face sticking out at odd angles. The blond clearly provoked the larger male, but Misaki pitied the blond seeing the disadvantage.

Sumi-senpai pulled on Misaki's coat weakly urging him to lead the way out. Instead the kindhearted male stood rooted to the spot, unable to depart. Behind Muscle Man were an entourage either encouraging the fight or attempting to coax the male into walking away. Misaki noticed that not one person existed on Blondie's side. He remained alone and barely standing. His heart went out to the lone man even if he was the antagonist of the current situation.

_What if he gets beat up? Will anyone help him or will he end up here all alone? _The brunette's thoughts raced across his mind. Worry filled the pit of his empty stomach and his conscience refused to let him be. Sumi-senpai tugged harder on Misaki's shirt the fear sobering him up.

"Misaki! Misaki, let's go!" His pleas went unheard as Misaki rose from his place and took an unconscious step towards what he was positively his impending doom.

_What am I doing?! This guy is going to squish me like a bug. _Despite his worries he continued his trek pushing his way in between the rowdy crowd that had formed round the testosterone fueled males in the center of the circle.

"Kick his ass," a random girl instigated.

"Hurry up already," a voice screamed from Muscle Man's group.

"Is anyone going to do something?"

The voices faded into the background and time took a pause. His heart beat a mile a minute echoing throughout his body. He felt it resonating and pounding in his head and especially hard in his chest. If Misaki died tonight he'd claim this was probably the second bravest thing he'd ever voluntarily done (the first being his love confession to his lover, Usagi-san). Misaki finally squeezed his way through the gathering and stepped into the fire.

* * *

**Whew, it's complete... well the first chapter at least. Looking at it now, this story is going to take a lot of chapters in order to become what I envision it to be. I planned on making it longer, but that last sentence simply demanded I let it be the final one. Thank you to anyone who will review and feedback is appreciated. If you comment at all I see it as a victory. The second chapter will be up as soon as possible, but I'm tired and surrounded by drunks at a party (hah, guess you can see where I got the inspiration for the first chapter from) so don't expect another chapter tonight. **

**And just to keep the readers looking for romance to stay I will say that the only reason I only put down Misaki for the character pairing is because I believe this story resolves mainly around Misaki. But don't worry there will be romance incorporated. **

**Thank you! **


	2. Chapter 2: Babysitter for Hire

**Embarrassingly I received one review and just had to continue out of pure happiness from that one review. Besides, I have the first few chapters thought out, so if I'm in range of a computer they'll be up their quickly. And if readers wonder what exactly happens in this story they'll have to read and stick with it to find out. But I promise it'll be good and I'll just say it includes the egoist and terrorist couple because I just love them all.**

**Warning: Some Language**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 2: Babysitter for Hire**

* * *

_No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted _

_-Aesop_

* * *

Sumi Keiichi didn't get hammered often. He liked to drink in moderation in order to enjoy the event he attended. But the issue of an unrequited love and lack of _any_ love life persuaded him to drink and forget all his sorrows. And he may have been drunk enough to see double, but it's pretty amazing how fast fear can sober you up.

It started when he saw the way his sober friend stared at the blond guy demanding a fight with a monster who'd bury him head first. He found it wise to always avoid a physical confrontation, but his friend decided to do the absolute opposite. Sumi realized his kohai was either really brave or stupid. He leaned more towards the latter of the two.

When Misaki stood Sumi tried to grab onto his clothing and hit air. He was still too hammered to even stand right. Fear engulfed his entire being and he frantically searched for his cell phone in the abyss they called pockets to call for help. He really loathed and loved that Usami Akihiko's number popped up at the top of his contacts. He quickly adjusted his glasses and began the hunt for the call button.

After half a ring Usami picked up and Sumi's heart soared. Usami-sensei shouted something along the lines of 'where's Misaki' and profanities at the college student. And even though the man was furious and nowhere near charming at the moment, Sumi couldn't help the giddy excitement of hearing the man's velvety voice. Then he remembered Misaki about to be torn to shreds by a giant and tried to focus on forming words and translating them properly.

"Usami-san," he said, with a slur. It was those damn S's in Usami-san's name. The man on the other end ceased cursing for a moment before asking, "Are you drunk?"

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly.

"Is Misaki drunk?" Usami-san asked, his voice rising. All Sumi processed was the way Usami's sexy voice reverberated across phone lines.

"Keiichi-kun! Is Misaki drunk?" the man repeated with more authority.

"No... but he's about to be pummeled by a giant." The line went dead. Sumi stared at the phone in confusion and betrayal like its failure to work was the root of this whole problem. Alas, he forgot to charge his phone and now he was about to lose a friend.

* * *

"What the fuck do you want?"

If Misaki thought he was scared before he was terrified now. Muscle Man stared down at him, nostrils flared, like a bull about to charge. Misaki's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. Every fiber in his being screamed RUN, which he promptly ignored. The crowd remained silent, some upset the fight hadn't already begun and others amused by the surprising turn of events. He sneaked a peek at the male responsible for the entire ordeal who in return watched him in fascination with a befuddled expression.

"Are you trying to come up against me?" Muscle Man asked in disbelief with a growing smile. Muscle Man took one step towards the brunette and in return he took an unconscious step back.

"No, you see," Misaki started unable to get a full explanation out

"What? That you wanna get down with me. You think you can take me?" Another step forward and one back. The two continued on like this until Misaki's movements were put on hold by the body behind him. His frightened green eyes locked hold with the unfocused brown pupils staring back at him. This stranger was the reason he came up here in the first place. He was probably the sole person Misaki was sticking his neck out for, and the funniest thing was he felt no regret or stupidity for his actions. This was the right thing to do.

Returning his gaze Muscle Man, Misaki opened his mouth and spoke.

"Can you please not beat up this guy… or me?"Misaki began. "He's really drunk… and I'm sure he doesn't mean everything he's saying." He pleaded desperate to persuade the man to spare Blondie and himself. For good measures he tagged on a "Please."

Everyone was quiet. All heads stayed glued to Muscle Man as he processed Misaki's plea with a blank expression. It took a full ten seconds before Muscle Man responded. He twisted his body around to face the expectant faces of his entourage. The man pointed at the group with a muscular finger.

"See, you guys," he said. "If you only said please then we could have left earlier. But nooooo, you always got to shout at me and _never_ say please." Muscle Man said it in a scolding manner. Misaki was positive every jaw in the room dropped from Sumi's to Muscle Man's friends, and Misaki himself. The large male turned back to face Misaki.

"He," he continued, pointing at Misaki, "knows how to say please."

"Uh…." Is what Misaki said.

The gentle giant placed a heavy hand on the shorter male's head and ruffled his hair roughly.

"People always think I'm a bad guy, but I can be cool. My mom raised me right." The brunette let a smile grace his features. The relief of coming out of this predicament unscathed and helping a fellow student in the process- to put it simply- made him feel real good. No one lead him through or fixed the issue, it was all Misaki and Misaki alone.

"And as long as no one disrespects me then I don't have to break some bones." The male laughed; Misaki laughed nervously as well, thankful he was not on the receiving end of the man's drunk fury.

But God really seemed to hate Misaki. At that moment the fellow college student that Misaki - out of the kindness of his heart - protected decided to pick that particular moment to open his mouth.

"What a bitch."

This time Misaki did run. He ran like his life depended on it (which possibly could be true). With the blond hanging off his right arm and Sumi on his left arm Misaki ran as if his life depended on it. He ran on pure adrenaline dragging behind two people whose faces were a sickly green. The brunette stopped running when he felt the three were a safe distance from the party or any angry party goers. They ended up at an empty street corner under the dim glow of a street light. Blondie proceeded to throw up off to the side with Sumi-senpai not to far behind. Misaki apologized profusely to the two, especially to Sumi throwing up in the street with painful sounding retches.

"Misaki," Sumi cried in between breaths while he puked. "I don't feel"- another stream of green vomit flew from the man's throat- "good." Misaki patted Sumi's back in comfort apologizing again to the man. Peering over at Blondie Misaki noticed the young man's eyes searching for familiarity in unfamiliar surroundings.

"Are you okay?" Misaki asked. Blondie zeroed in on Misaki stumbling over his own feet to reach him. Blondie griped onto the front of his shirt to steady himself, his eyes met Misaki's, searching for an answer.

"Where's Junichi?" he asked, desperation evident in his tone. "What about Satoshi... and Fumiko? Where did they all go?"

"Ah...I'm sorry. I don't know where they are." Misaki explained pitifully.

The blond turned his head in devastation, and then he vomited again.

"They always leave me," Blondie whined sadly wiping excess vomit with the back of his hand. "They always want to- to party and hang out with me, but they really- really don't care." The emotional mess in front of him proceeded to cry in his shirt while he attempted to comfort him with a gentle pat on the head. Up close he saw dark roots growing amongst the sobbing male's hair revealing that Blondie was not a true blond. The man leaned into Misaki's touch mumbling incoherent words much too low for him to catch.

Misaki frowned, sad that the young man had been abandoned and left to fend for himself. But the least he could do was help him home.

"Misaki," Sumi whined in the background. "I dropped my glasses... somewhere." It was going to be a long night.

Twenty minutes later Sumi's glasses were back to their rightful position and the trek resumed. He placed himself in between Sumi and Blondie throwing Sumi's right arm around his shoulder while the other griped onto Misaki's waist tightly. The stench of vomit and alcohol made him cringe in disgust fighting down a gag. The man on his right had his face pressed into Misaki's neck barely awake; a walking zombie. Meanwhile Sumi muttered things like 'tired' and 'who's that guy.'

The trio took one wobbly step before everyone tipped to the right after Sumi put his whole weight on Misaki. _Ah! We're going to fall! _His arms curled around the two to prevent anyone from falling flat on their asses.

He took hold of the man on his right and shifted enough so the weight fell on him pushing against Sumi's weight. The three were at a standstill with Misaki hoping the weight of both people canceled out, but Sumi was heavier than Blondie making Misaki tip slightly to the right. He pushed some of his own weight until the three were balanced. _I did it! _He thought with a grin. Now the only problem was getting everyone home.

"Where do you live?" Misaki asked the semi-conscious blond as the three shakily and slowly moved forward.

"Your address?" he repeated with a pant.

"My address?" Blondie repeated, alert. "I live..." Misaki couldn't believe his luck as the man repeated his address, in a robot-like fashion. He asked for it a couple more times until it was memorized in his head. The trio continued down the street into a more public area where cars rode by frequently, but the people were not around. _Well, yeah. Who would be out at three in the morning?_

The brunette promptly ate his own words as a familiar looking red head passed by briskly saying, "Hi Misaki-kun" before rushing out of view. _Was that... Nah. _

Too tired to care or think about it the brunette searched the streets for a cab. Misaki's arms were immobile, so he called out until a taxi stopped. The taxi slowed to a stop allowing Misaki a chance to stuff the two males in the car then jumping in last. He repeated Blondie's address to the taxi driver and closed his eyes to rest.

Sumi interrupted again. "Misaki, will you call me in the morning?"

"Sure, senpai," he agreed nonchalantly.

Time melted into moments broken into images of the rest of the night. Misaki assisting a stranger up monstrous stairs to take him to his door, dragging Sumi home to his bed, the taxi man kicking him out of the cab halfway to his home because he didn't have enough money to pay for the fair, and finally arriving to the condo at four in the morning.

The door to the condo opened engulfing him in light. A cool body swallowed the small form in an embrace and Misaki almost toppled over in exhaustion. Usagi-san's hands were turning Misaki's face at different angles and asking if he was alright.

"Usagi-san."

"Are you hurt, Misaki? Any concussions or internal bleeding?"

"Usagi-san."

"If you're hurt I can call my friend's doctor boyfriend. I should have looked harder-"

"Usagi-san!" Misaki shouted finally grabbing the older man's attention. He placed a hand on the man's wrist noting the man was still dressed in his morning attire. "You went out looking for me." It wasn't a question.

"Your friend," Usagi-san spit out, "told me you were about to be pummeled by a giant. Was it true?"

"Yeah..." he replied with a yawn."But I'm fine. We'll talk about it in the morning, K." Usagi-san tried to say more, but the younger man wore an expression sending the silent a look saying 'I'm about to drop dead, so get out of my way.' The man complied with a frown, clearly upset with the past ten hours.

The brunette brushed past by the author but his conscience had him say, "I'm sorry for making you worry." A second later he found himself spun around so fast his head hurt and Usagi-san's lips pressed up against his own. Unspoken words were exchanged.

_I missed you._

The brunette melted into the kiss, either too tired to stop it and protest or because the events of tonight were so hectic it was a blessing to return to something so familiar. Usagi-san attempted to further the make-out session but Misaki was exhausted so he placed a gentle hand on the man's chest and pulled away.

"I'm tired, Usagi-san," he mumbled. And with a slight blush he added, "Tomorrow." The smile on the man's face caused his heart to beat just a little faster than it should.

The two headed upstairs, him leaning against Usagi-san for support and Usagi-san's all supporting arm there to catch him if he fell.

* * *

**There's chapter 2 for ya. Things are moving a little slow I know, things will eventually pick up, I just love to get people to think. Oh and thank you to hinshihoushi for being the first person to review. Review people because I get a boost from it. Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3: Waking Up

**Hey again readers. There's this cool thing on this site where I can check how many people have viewed my story, its awesome! I hope you all enjoy the chapter. Oh and reviews are helpful in motivating me to keep writing. Thank you!**

**Warning: Some Language**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 3: Waking Up**

* * *

_All things truly wicked started from an innocence_

_-Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast_

* * *

Misaki's eyes opened of their own accord, slightly red and irritated from the exposure of sunlight. Misaki took in his surroundings realizing he was in Usagi-san's toy filled room and if he was in his room then this was Usagi-san's bed and if he was in Usagi-san's bed then Usagi-san-

"Good morning, Misaki." With a yelp Misaki flopped off the bed still wrapped in the thick blanket onto the hard-wood floor. His struggle to escape the blankets hold on him only constricted him more. The handsome author sat on the edge of the bed fully dressed, watching the brunette with amusement and a raised eyebrow. The man's ash blond hair was combed neatly and he looked quite handsome, yet Misaki still caught the dark circles taking up residence under the man's eyes. He stopped struggling for a moment to remember what happened last night and to understand why Usagi-san was already up and dressed.

"How did I get here?" The man cocked his head to the side in confusion. "You don't remember. Keiichi-san said you weren't drunk last night."

_Sumi-senpai... _

"Sumi-senpai!" Misaki shouted in revelation.

Everything come back to him as the flood gates opened and memories of the previous night returned: the lame party, almost being beaten to death, helping out that stranger, getting Sumi and the stranger home, and returning home himself. But he must have knocked out while climbing the stairs because he couldn't recall anything after that. Putting two and two the brunette figured it out quite simply. _Usagi-san carried me to bed. But that still doesn't explain why he's dressed and up before me, _he thought. Squeezing out of the blanket he discovered he was not wearing the clothes from the night before. _And he dressed me in my pajamas while I was asleep... Pervert. _He scowled and glared daggers at the man, hating the lack of organization and holes in this story.

"But why are you up, so early?"

"It's two in the afternoon."

"HUH?! I slept for ten hours!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Not only that, Aikawa burst in and stole me away from you for an early meeting," he explained with annoyance. "You were out cold and didn't stir once." The man placed a hand over his heart putting on a pitiful expression. "It pained me to be away from my precious Misaki." The brunette's face grew red and he retreated back a step.

With a devious smile the man said, "I didn't get to spend time with my Misaki last night, but as I recall you wanted me to pleasure you tomorrow." The man rose, a predatory look on his face.

"I- I never said that!" he protested backing up some more.

"Oh, but you did," the man stated inching closer to his prize. Misaki took a chance to run, but a strong arm yanked him back into two stronger arms. He squirmed and wriggled in an attempt to escape, but the man was too strong. The brunette ended up in Usagi-san's lap while the man sat on the bed making it shift with their combined weight.

"It doesn't count! Last night is technically still today."

"It's tomorrow in my world."

"Let me go! I- I'm hungry!"

"So am I," the man added with a nibble to Misaki's pale neck.

"N-no really, I h-haven't eaten anything for the past twelve hours." As if to prove the validity of his statement his stomach growled with a vengeance, tired of being ignored. The older man paused. Misaki continued.

"And I have to call Sumi-senpai to see if he's alright." The smaller male stressed before slumping over in defeat, felling the effects of fatigue and hunger pangs. With a sigh the man released the brunette causing him to fall forward face first. He shot a glare at the man feigning innocence.

"So what exactly happened last night?" Usagi-san inquired. The pair were in the kitchen, him cooking while Usagi-san sat in a chair smoking a cigarette.

"It's a long story."

"I'm listening." He recanted the events proudly retelling (editing) of the frightening encounter with the giant, and the hilarity of Sumi-senpai's behavior. By the time he finished breakfast was done. He served himself a large portion and sat at the table opposite of Usagi-san.

"Itadakimasu," Misaki said digging into eggs and bacon ravenously.

With a long exhale Usagi-san stared down Misaki.

"What?"

"Misaki, that was very stupid."

"How can you say that? I totally saved that guy." His voice wavered between anger and disappointment. He expected a little praise for his actions, not insults.

"Voluntarily jumping into the line of fire is very stupid. This is why I don't allow you to go out to these parties." Usagi-san said with a sigh. The man reached across the table to take the brunette's small hand into his own. "I love you, and I can't bear the thought of ever losing you." Misaki's eyes met Usagi-san's and although he knew the older man did everything out of love for him, he couldn't help but think...

_Why can't you trust me?_

A deep sigh slipped past his lips as he pulled his hand from Usagi-san's hold.

"I know, Usagi-san." His appetite no longer lingered so the remainder of breakfast was transferred to a plastic container to sit in the refrigerator. The running water of the sink sliced through the quiet atmosphere.

"Misaki," Usagi-san began.

"I have to call Sumi-senpai," he announced lightly, walking upstairs and coming downstairs a minute later phone in tow.

It rang two times then a familiar groggy voice answered in broken English.

"Sumi-senpai? Hello?"

"Oh, sorry Misaki-kun. My head hurts," he groaned.

"That's what you get for drinking so much," he scolded.

"Tell Keiichi- to take a hike," Usagi-san shouted from the kitchen.

"Is that Usami-sensei in the background? Put me on speaker." The brunette rolled his eyes but complied walking back into the kitchen. "Hello Usami-sensei," Sumi greeted voice coated in sugar.

"Hang up pest."

"Usagi-san!"

"Usami-sensei, you wound me so," Sumi-senpai said with a sigh. "Misaki, can you feel me in on what happened last night it's just a big blur. I think there was another guy with us, right?"

"Yeah, I helped him home. And you threw up, senpai."Usagi-san laughed rambling on about kids who couldn't handle their liquor.

Turning off the speaker Misaki continued speaking this time out of hearing range from Usagi-san."Senpai, are you okay? I know it's not my place to ask... I just worry, especially last night after what you said. And if you ever need to talk to someone senpai-"

"I'm fine," the man replied curtly. "I was drunk and I don't know what I said, but if it bothered you then I apologize. Other than that don't worry about me okay," Sumi said stressing the 'okay.'

"Okay," Misaki said lowly. "I'm sorry, senpai."

"It's fine," the man snapped. Quickly changing subject to something less awkward he asked, "Well... you know how I signed up for English classes at the college?"

"Yeah."

"Well I'm thinking about signing up for that trip going to the U.S. in three months."

"Wow!" Misaki exclaimed hearing the exciting news. "To the U.S.! That's amazing senpai."

"Graduate students were invited and we have to be fluent in English. If I'm picked I get to go traveling around promoting Mitsuhashi University and colleges in Japan to American high school students."

"So cool!"

"Indeed," Sumi agreed. "By the way do you know what happened with that guy you brought along?"

"Ah... no. I just kind of helped him to his door and he went inside. I didn't even catch his name," Misaki mussed. "That guy will never remember me."

"Never say never, Misaki," Sumi objected.

* * *

"SHUT UP!"

His phone hit the wall but did not cease its horrid ringing. The blond clenched his head painfully to stop the killer headache and loud pounding in his skull. The damn phone only made it trillions of times worse. Currently the blond was experiencing a major handover with a hazy memory of the night before and a pair of green eyes he couldn't get out of his head. He pulled the covers over his head taking comfort in the dark security of his blankets.

Thankfully the phone stopped ringing and the blond had a moment to get his thoughts straight. There were too many questions and no answers.

_How did I get home last night?_

_Who helped me home in the first place? A girl? A guy... with green eyes?_

_Why green?_

_What time is it?_

_Where did all my asshole friends go?_

_Who's the guy with the green eyes?_

_Why won't that fucking phone stop ringing?!_

_Wait... the phone! _The blond scrambled out of bed, instantly regretting it when sunlight as sharp as glass penetrated his eyeballs.

"Ah!" he cried angrily falling flat on his ass. "Stupid goddamn phone!" The blond tossed furniture around in his hunt, finally finding the cursed piece of crap behind his dresser.

"Hello!" he practically screamed into the phone.

"No need to scream," a voice remarked on the other end. "My eardrums are sensitive."

"Masahiko-kun! Just the guy I wanted to talk to," the blond announced.

"Sure," Masahiko muttered.

"Where you at Hiroshi's party last night?"

"Hiroshi Anami?"

"No, not that loser. Hiroshi Iijima," he clarified.

Oh, no. I was with Yano-chan last night."

"Seriously, the big one."

"That's really gross. I mean Ryoko Yano."

"Oh, she's hot," the blond commented. "Anyway, do you know anyone that was at that party last night?"

"Try Hayashi-san. He said the party was lame."

"It was. Thanks I gotta go." The blond hung up and dialed Hayashi's number next. Hayashi didn't answer, so the blond continued to call four more times until Hayashi picked up.

"_Hello_," Hayashi answered, in English.

"Why are you talking in English dumb ass, were Japanese."

"I'm practicing for the trip to the U.S., did you hear about it?"

"Yes, and I know it's only for graduates, not undergraduates."

"... Aw man. Way to rain on my parade," Hayashi complained. "What do you need?"

"Hiroshi's party last night, were you there?" the blond questioned.

"Anami-san?"

"No, Iijima-san!"

"Oooooooh," Hayashi realized. "Nope. Try Amaya-chan. Didn't she go with you?" The blond muttered a curse and hung up on the moron. Amaya fortunately did have the information the blond was dying for.

"Misaki who?"

"I _said _Misaki Ta-ka-ha-shi," Amaya repeated in annoyance. "That guy totally saved your ass. You tried to start a fight with Daisuke Tatenaka, the martial artist." A shiver ran down the blond's spine. He'd met Tatenaka-san once and picking a fight with that guy was suicide. He may work out, but up against Tatenaka-san he might as well kiss his ass goodbye. Maybe he should really thank this Takahashi guy, he might have even brought him home, more than his "friends" ever did for him.

"Thanks Amaya-chan," the blond muttered before hanging up on her.

"Misaki Takahashi huh," he repeated to himself. "The guy with the green eyes."

**I did it! I just dropped a bomb, an OC character, whose identity will be revealed the next chapter. Hope you readers still stick around because it's going to start getting interesting. If you noticed this was meant to all be one chapter which explains why the line "Misaki who?" is said near the end. But I guess when you physically start writing things turn out differently then planned. Thank you for the reviews and support. **


	4. Chapter 4: King of the Campus

**I'm back! Sorry for the delay, but I was lacking internet. Still things should start getting interesting with the OC who is crucial to the plot of the story. Along with revealing the identity of the OC, some well known literature professors will be making an appearance if you get my drift. You all know who I'm talking about. Thank you for reviews and I hope I satisfy the readers hunger for more.**

**Warning: Some Language. **

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 4: King of the Campus**

* * *

_Be courteous to all but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence; true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to appellation_

_-George Washington _

* * *

A soft breeze drifted through Tokyo fluttering hair and nipping at unclothed skin. Classes at Mitsuhashi University were to start shortly and students tried to shake the lasting effects of hangovers and sleep from the recent weekend. Many groaned about returning to another week of studying, homework, and professors - even more so if that professor happened to be the Demon Kamijou who looked about ready to murder someone. And for good reason too.

Hiroki Kamijou was having a bad day. Wait, that was an understatement because in fact it had been a horrid week as well.

The first year students starting off the school year in his class were lazy yet tolerable, but the returning students who failed his class before were a pain in his ass. While the first years were scared shitless of Kamijou, the Returns made his life a living hell. So early in the year they were failing, and worse, they were cocky. Hiroki absolutely hated a cocky brat.

He slammed his briefcase violently causing his associate professor to glance over. A mischievous glint shined in the associate professor's eyes as he made an unwise decision to "help" the clearly pissed off man relax. The older made an attempt to creep up on the assistant professor, but received a very serious warning.

Hiroki exhumed fury and the next person to mess with him would be dead. He didn't have the patience to deal with anyone including Professor Miyagi.

"Professor Miyagi," he warned with a voice dark and very calm. Miyagi's hands, inches from the shorter man's shoulders stopped their movements at being caught in the act. "If you have the audacity to fuck with me this particular morning then I warn now" – he peered over his shoulder with what Miyagi was sure were piercing red eyes looking into his soul – "I. Will. Kill. You."

The associate professor recoiled in fear at the assistant professor's lethal warning. The assistant professor's fury had been released and Miyagi doubted students not doing homework could be given all the blame. So he brought the man a cup of coffee, handed him a good book, and sat patiently for five minutes. Miyagi counted off his fingers, three… two… one.

"Those little shits!" And boom the bomb went off. "These cocky brats think they have a right defile the library so they don't have to do an assignment! I'll show them!" Miyagi watched with a grin as the man roared while pacing in an aggressive manner. After a minute his anger began to fade leaving him panting slightly, his brown eyes burning a hole in the wall. Hiroki faced Miyagi who sat patiently waiting for an answer.

"I got egged outside my house," he stated. "The Returns are just- ugh! I don't have a proper word to describe how horrid they are. They don't do assignments, somehow cheat on the tests, and are disrespectful. Those delinquents need to go to prison, not school. Society can do without them." Hiroki knocked over his chair sending a few papers scattering.

"So you have some bad eggs," Miyagi remarked with a smirk. If Hiroki could breathe fire the associate professor would be quite crispy.

"They're not _just _bad eggs," Hiroki barked. "These are demons sent from hell to test my sanity. They take up precious oxygen and need to spontaneous combust before I do."

"Then just throw them out," Miyagi insisted with a shrug.

"The brats are clever. The rich ones think they can get away with anything. This one kid I absolutely loathe is a sneaky, cocky, manipulative monster and he's the worst of the bunch."

"He can't be that bad."

"He is," Hiroki snapped. "He thinks he's king of the campus. He influences the few good students and ruins them. I'm one hundred percent sure he is the main conspirator for the acts of vandalism and his egging. I've never hated a student with every inch of my being but this kid takes the cake." By now Hiroki had relit the fire fueling his anger. His face was ablaze and eyes burning a hole in Miyagi's head, and Miyagi swore he could feel a burning sensation melting his brain.

"I HATE-"

"Katsuo-kun, you the man!"

"Katsuo-kun, did you get my text last night?"

"Party tonight Watanabe-san, you going?"

"Call me Katsuo-san!"

"I totally egged the Demon Kamijou Katsuo-kun!"

"Here's the homework due today, Katsuo-kun."

"Nii-chan, how did you get so popular?"

Katsuo and his younger sister Hikari Watanabe walked down the school campus, random students known and unknown came up to them, all for Katsuo Watanabe.

"I'm the greatest here, Imouto," Katsuo stated walking down the campus leading Hikari to her class. "And if you need anything or if your teacher starts giving you shit, tell me. I'm king here, you know."

Hikari snorted in response throwing long black hair behind her shoulder. "After taking one walk with you there's not a doubt. But" – she flicked her older brother's nose – "you're still a grumpy dork at home Nii-chan, so don't let this" – she waved her arms around gesturing to the school – "go to your head." Katsuo brushed the advice and ruffled his sister's hair.

"Hey!" Hikari shouted shoving the blonds hand away. "Don't touch my hair. The next time you do that you'll be pulling back a stump."

"Ha, I'd love to see that," Katsuo challenged. Hikari was about to rebuttal, but another voice cut in.

"Katsuo-san, over here!" shouted a feminine voice. Katsuo was about to disregard the girl thinking it was another girl in the crowd, but catching the sight of bouncy auburn hair set an expectant smile to his face.

He briefly wished good luck and a farewell to his sister then proceeded to jog halfway to meet Amaya Gunma, a "friend". Amaya was the girl to find if you were looking for someone. The more popular a person's status the easier it was for Amaya to find them. The only reason she knew the Takahashi guy was because she took a class with him, so Katsuo requested she see Minori Suzuki, who did volunteer work at the school and could get to the student's file cabinet.

The young woman halted to a stop in front of Katsuo with a light bounce. She put up one finger while she caught her breath clutching a blue notebook in one hand.

"You wanted… to know about… the Takahashi kid… and Minori-san came through… just like… you said," Amaya wheezed, hand over her heart.

"Well what did you get?" Katsuo demanded impatiently. Amaya shot a dirty look at the blond taking another moment to catch her breath.

"Okay, okay." The young woman brought up the notebook and opened up to a page filled out in neat writing. "Twenty-one years old… economic major… Yada yada yada. Basically he's a nobody, Katsuo-san."

"Classes Amaya-san, classes," Katsuo sighed in annoyance as if the incompetence of Amaya to read fast enough was the root of his problem.

"Here it is. Oh wow, he has the Demon Kamijou just like you right now. In fact he's over there," Amaya chirped pointing behind Katsuo.

Katsuo swiveled around to confirm the truth and there he was. Katsuo may have had a fuzzy memory of the night of his drunken escapade, but there was no mistaking those vibrant green eyes passing by.

"That's him," Katsuo murmured. He abandoned Amaya who called back with a 'no thank you' to follow the mystery guy. Studying the guy Katsuo could see he was very short, not a cool quality for a guy.

_He's shorter than me…_

The hair was a chocolate brown and a little longer than his own hair barely kissing his shoulders. Some of his feathery-looking locks brushed by his long eyelashes; Katsuo concluded the guy had a very fair and feminine face. It didn't look ridiculously girly, but cute, like a panda or something plushy. As for the body all he could see was he was pretty slim like himself except Katsuo worked out giving him a slightly more cut look. The green eyes affected Katsuo strangely as if he could crawl right into that forest known as eyes and feel absolutely safe from the horribly fake city he ruled. And from the night of his partying he could vaguely recall speaking to those eyes.

_They always leave me…_

Katsuo's face flushed in embarrassment all other thoughts forgotten as his curiosity suddenly became replaced by mortification. Katsuo could have spouted anything in his drunken haze. The more embarrassing the information the easily it'd be for the guy to blackmail him. It could have even been about… No. He didn't want to think about the consequences of a slip up like that. But if the guy were friends were someone who hated him, because everyone knows you don't become king without making some enemies along the way.

But if he got to him first, then there wouldn't be a problem. Katsuo pondered whether it was worth befriending a nobody to protect a secret he might never have even mentioned.

_Yes… it is. Besides, _he thought with a malicious smirk, _even if he's not on my side, I can always find a way to get rid of him._

* * *

**Chapter 4! Alright I just wanted to post something before I am separated from internet for a few days. But that won't stop me from typing up new chapters while away. Katsuo will probably have only a couple major chapters throughout the story, but it is all necessary. In today's chapter Hiroki, Hikari, and random people give indirect characterization about Katsuo so this chapter is kind of like Katsuo's introduction. I leave it up to the readers for opinions and predictions on the OC. Hope you all enjoy and the next chapter shows the meeting of Katsuo and Misaki. Review people and thank you for the support! **

**P.S. Imouto is a way of saying little sister. **


	5. Chapter 5: The King Seeks a Commoner

**This is chapter 5. Thank you for the continuous support and being patient. I hated waiting myself for new chapters from other people's stories, but when I started typing my own I learned that waiting was an absolute must because these things take some time on the author's part. Reviews are awesome! Hope you like it.**

**Warning: Some Language**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 5: The King Seeks a Commoner**

* * *

_Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,  
Tears from the depths of some divine despair  
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,  
In looking on the happy autumn fields,  
And thinking of the days that are no more._

_-Alfred Tennyson_

* * *

Hiroki drank steadily from his coffee mug, glaring at each Return student strutting in his classroom. Half disregarded the professor infuriating the man further. If they didn't fear him then they'd walk all over him and that would only occur if he were dead or if pigs found a way to fly.

But there were a handful of Returns unmolested by Watanabe's corrupt influence that he truly cherished. This handful of students tried, sometimes to no avail, but at least they were trying and attempting to improve themselves.

_Speak of the devil, here comes one now_, Hiroki thought while following Takahashi-kun's carefree movements into the class. The relief was short-lived as he caught sight of the bane of his existence eyeing Takahashi like a lion on the hunt. The poor kid would be swallowed whole and spit out, no longer tolerable, just another delinquent hand-crafted by Katsuo Watanabe. The professor panicked for a moment desperately formulating a plan to keep the two separated; to save Takahashi from his impending doom and to save his own sanity.

"Takahashi-kun, get up here!"

Misaki froze in terror. The Demon Kamijou specifically called him. The worst possible reasons for being called up by Kamijou-sensei raced through his mind, but out of respect and fear he jerkily made his way up to the front of the class. Many onlookers whispered in pity or snickered at the poor guy's luck. Katsuo internally exploded when the Demon robbed him of his opportunity yet he kept a straight face and slunk up to a seat to plot his next course of action.

The nervous brunette stood straight in front of his teacher.

"Y-Yes, s-sensei, you called me." Hiroki pointed to the front row closest to the blackboard and himself.

"You will sit in the front," he growled.

"In fact," he said rising to his feet. "Everyone will have an assigned seat starting now!" There came a negative groan from above and some cursing from one seething blond. The next five minutes were spent with the Demon Kamijou appointing assigned seats, placing Misaki in the very front and Katsuo in the farthest corner in the back.

Misaki held no clue to why the Demon assigned seats, but would rather remain quiet on the subject than question his teacher's decisions. His teacher rattled the brunette's brain further when he requested Misaki see him after class.

Two hours later…

Misaki approached his professor's desk timidly as the last of his classmates fled, wondering why there was a sudden interest in him. The Demon Kamijou actually appeared flustered, almost embarrassed.

"If it you don't mind, Takahashi-kun, can you help me carry some books to the school library?" Misaki let out a flood of relief realizing he was not in any trouble and agreed, still nervous, but not terrified any more.

The books were already in boxes so the pair made three trips to the library which much to Misaki's astonishment was violently vandalized.

Spray paint had been sprayed across the shelves and books in red. They spelled out vulgar words followed by names of teachers, the majority the Demon Kamijou. Some poor books lie on the floor in pieces after being torn to shreds. Misaki noticed a few students and teacher's cleaning or trying to savage any books still readable and in decent condition.

"Terrible, isn't it," Kamijou reflected sadly. The brunette saw the spark of pity and anger in his teacher's eyes while taking in the ruin of the library. Misaki felt a small wave of anger wash over him at seeing the damage done to the innocent library. He may not have enjoyed reading to the extent of his literature professor preferring manga to books, but he hoped whoever did this would be caught and face the consequences.

"It is."

Once the final box was moved and the last book stacked Misaki gave a tentative goodbye to his teacher with a bow as he prepared to depart.

"Takahashi-kun," Kamijou called. Misaki was inches from the door.

"Yes, sensei?" The man's eyes were serious and… concerned.

"Be careful, Takahashi-kun," he said. Then he turned away from the student back to his desk without another word. Misaki nodded to the man's back, feeling more confused by the second, but kept the professor's words in mind.

Misaki walked solemnly down the street, taking a longer route home. Usagi-san had been snatched away by his editor, Aikawa-san, to attend a meeting about the release of his new book. He'd actually finished early, which sounded very suspicious to the brunette, but left Aikawa ecstatic and stress free. So the young man would be walking home tonight which didn't bother him one bit. It gave him time to enjoy the new day, maybe even stroll through the park… or help the guy who just tripped over a rock landing on his face right in front of him.

Misaki made his way over to the poor soul currently cursing and groaning.

"Are you okay?" Misaki asked in concern. The young man from the ground turned to face the helpful citizen with a scowl which promptly disappeared when he realized who he was looking at.

"Hey, you're-"

"Have we-"

A burst of realization and recognition shot through the two young men. A small smile graced the brunette's face seeing that Blondie was okay. But he didn't want to refer to the guy as Blondie forever. He held out a hand for the man on the floor. The blond grabbed hold and heaved himself up muttering a quick 'thanks'.

"You're Misaki Takahashi," the blond stated with a smirk.

"Yeah," he admitted glad the blond remembered him, but curious to how he knew his name. "It's nice to meet you…"

"Katsuo Watanabe," Katsuo answered smugly. "But you must have known that already. Everyone does."

"Oh…I'm sorry, I didn't know," Misaki admitted sheepishly scratching the back of his head nervously. "But it's still nice to meet you."

"Oh… really? Well, that's a problem. Anyway I'm here to make your day, Takahashi-kun," Katsuo announced proudly. "I've heard you saved my ass this weekend, so you are officially invited to the Red and Blue party this Thursday. Also you're hanging out with me this week and I pay for lunch as a thank you. With me..."

"…" The brunette didn't know what to say. Katsuo continued to prattle while the brunette took a moment to think. A kind of stranger seemingly from the same university was inviting him to a party and to hang out. But Misaki really didn't want to attend another party since Kamijou-sensei assigned enough homework to severe his grade dearly if left unfinished and he wanted to volunteer some free time to help clean up the library.

"Thank you for the offer, but no thank you."

"You'll be seen with me so people- Wait what?!" Misaki smiled nervously taking this chance to continue walking by the stunned male.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't go. I have a previous engagement," he explained. Katsuo snapped out of his paralyzed state scrambling to walk after the insane young man.

"But it's a Red and Blue party! No one gets in without an invitation and the booze is great and the girls are hot and really loose… And are you saying you don't want to hang out with me." By this time Katsuo stepped in front of Misaki to block his path, a look of complete disbelief shining in his dark orbs.

"I-It's not that I-I don't want to," Misaki explained nervously. "I ju-just don't have the time this week."

"I'm, KatsuoWatanabe," Katsuo uttered still staring at the brunette in shock like he'd been shot by the brunette with his absolute honesty on the subject.

"I'm sorry, Watanabe-san I can't make the party, but I thank you for inviting me," he thanked with a bow. "And we can hang out if you want but you don't have to pay for my lunch." Katsuo took the small window of opportunity with a stunned expression.

"That's fine, I guess."

Misaki hated to disappoint anyone especially if Katsuo had gone to the trouble of inviting him to a Red and Blue party (whatever that was), which seemingly was a big deal. Searching around Misaki caught sight of something, sparking an idea.

"Ice cream?" he offered.

"Ice cream," Katsuo repeated in mock confusion. The brunette nodded and pointed to an ice cream vendor a few feet away. Katsuo was unable to comprehend what exactly Misaki was getting at, so the brunette walked to the vendor, purchased a cone, and returned holding the cone out to Katsuo. Katsuo stared at the shiny substance trying to piece together what was happening. People gave him rides, booze, threw him parties, but this was ice cream.

"The man only had pistachio," Misaki stated apologetically. Katsuo accepted the cone stiffly and gave it a tentative lick loving the way the cool sweet taste exploded on his tongue. It rang an old bell in his brain, bringing back a long hidden memory from the outskirts of his mind.

_How long has it been since I had ice cream?_

_The breeze running fast, faster than Katsuo or Hikari could run, yet they follow in vain trying to catch it. The sun high in the sky with clouds shaped like dinosaurs and donuts. Katsuo is eight and Hikari five. Hikari has that pink bow in her hair that keeps falling out and Katsuo holds her hand so she doesn't fall because she's still wobbly on her feet. Mom pushes them on the swings until their screaming with laughter, screaming to fly high like the birds and touch a cloud. Mom and Hikari are happy, so he's happy to because no one is crying anymore and their all free. _

_And at the end of the day after their tired out Mom buys two big ice cream cones for them. Hikari gets strawberry and he gets…_

"I'm sorry, did you prefer another flavor?" Misaki asks unknowingly interrupting the blond man's memory. He could already feel guilt form in the pit of his stomach form. He only had enough money for one cone, and if Katsuo hated the flavor or was lactose intolerant he held no clue on how to make it better. The ice cream was just a way of repayment, and who could deny ice cream.

Katsuo breaks off from the nice memory realizing he's standing on the sidewalk with people brushing by and Misaki staring at him instead of being at a grassy park with his five year old sister.

Katsuo answers that the cone is perfect with a far-away look in his eyes. Misaki is relieved, but concerned for the previously noisy blond who is now become quiet. Katsuo is taking slow licks off the surface of the ice cream enjoying each burst of flavor like a five star meal.

"That's good," Misaki says. Katsuo seems happier; a dim smile lights up his face like a child on Christmas morning.

Katsuo barely notices when Takahashi-kun waves goodbye and starts to walk away. Before he can stop himself he shouts out an emotional 'thank you' startling a few random people passing by. But he could care less about them. All he can think of is Takahashi-kun, ice cream, and the good years when it was just Hikari, Mom, and himself that linger in his mind. It's been a long time since he's thought of his childhood.

He's never met a person like Misaki Takahashi; a selfless guy willing to give rather than take like the rest of the world he's associated with. There's something about him that coaxes Katsuo to let his guard down, because he's safe. It should be wrong to feel so safe with another human being that isn't his mom or Hikari, but it's instant and totally unconscious. Katsuo is suddenly excited and impatient and nervous to hang out with Misaki feeling a far away emotion bubble in him: hope.

Hope smells like fresh grass. It feels like a strong breeze hitting your face and tastes like pistachio ice cream. He sees funny clouds dance behind his eyelids and hears laughter in the background. The kind of carefree laughter filled with pure joy that only innocent children can pull off.

And when a man accidentally bumps into Katsuo causing him to drop his half eaten ice cream, Katsuo beats him half to death.

**I'm pretty proud of this chapter, at least near the end. Katsuo is pretty interesting, huh. I've hit a bit of a stump on how to continue the next chapter but don't worry I would never abandon you guys just when it's just getting interesting. I know how this story ends and everything, I just need to think of how to put it down. I hope you liked it and keep reading and reviewing. **


	6. Chapter 6: A Real Friend

**Hi again! Sorry the chapter took a while but it's finally here. It looks the beginning of a beautiful friendship, right? Muahahaha! Reviews are awesome so keep them coming.**

**Warning: Some Language, Alcohol Consumption**

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 6: A Real Friend**

* * *

'_But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'_

_-Lewis Carroll_

* * *

"Misaki, I love you man."

"I know, Katsuo-kun," Misaki answered with a slur having already heard it a few times tonight. Katsuo was currently slumped against the brunette's shoulder in total drunken bliss. The two slightly drunk and edging towards sleep.

Katsuo had finally been able to get another Red and Blue party started a month after he initially invited the brunette, because they weren't thrown often. In the time between, Misaki's social life outside of home seemed to take flight literally over night.

The moment students saw Katsuo walking around with Misaki Takahashi their new friendship spread like wildfire and frankly Misaki didn't have a clue on how to handle it all. People that never uttered a word to him suddenly wanted to hang out, buy him lunch, and follow him everywhere on campus. He couldn't get away unless he was around Katsuo then the attention would be shifted to the blond. Misaki even had trouble seeing Sumi-senpai due to the crowd lurking around, only having the time to throw a rushed 'hi senpai' at the man before taking off. A girl even went so far as to follow him into the _men's _restroom to ask for Katsuo's phone number.

Despite all the new unwanted attention and the strange parties Katsuo dragged him to, all in all Misaki found Katsuo to be a cool guy. He was outgoing and fun, always found cool things to do when there was virtually nothing, and the greatest comedic. This is why Misaki could not fathom how Katsuo had no real friends.

Katsuo's "friends" couldn't be called real friends, a judgment he made after a month of observing the way Katsuo's friends interacted around the blond. They borrowed money without paying back, partied with him and then took off when he was too intoxicated, asked for favors with gifts like alcohol, and basically they didn't care. And maybe that was one of the reasons he hung out with Katsuo, because the blond _needed_ a friend, not fans.

Misaki had been to parties before, but the ones Katsuo went to were insane. People hung from the ceiling, girls dressed scandalously, beer pong was now super beer pong, and the music was loud enough to pop his eardrums. There existed this cloud of insanity and raw atmosphere of letting loose having no care in the world. To put it in simple terms everyone came to get wasted and have a good time.

And that is what the two were doing.

"I love you man," Katsuo repeated throwing his arms around the shorter man. Misaki's mind was a bit jumbled thanks to the alcohol at the door, but he had a somewhat grasp on reality.

"I- know," Misaki said with a hiccup. "You've been saying that for the past- how long has it been?"

"But it's true. You're like my best friend." Katsuo staggered in place but kept his arms around Misaki for balance almost taking Misaki down with him. "No! Were like- we're brothers."

"Brothers," the brunette repeated in agreement.

"I, mean, I know you have one…" Katsuo said struggling with his words. "But I have four little sisters, so it's okay for me to have at least one brother."

"Oh course it is," Misaki said nodding lazily. "I'm tired. How long has this party been going on?"

"I think it was three o' clock two hours ago."

"Really? Wow, Usagi-san is going to be mad," Misaki giggled. The two made their way over to a couple available stools near a few girls.

"Why do you have to listen to your landlord?" Katsuo teased. "Is he like boyfriend or something?"

"No! No!" the brunette shouted defensively. "I told you he- he's just a _really_ good friend of mine and my brother. I don't pay for rent, so I have to listen to him." The young man briefly thought of Usagi-san, pacing in the living room, just waiting for him to get home.

_Did I remember to text Usagi-san? But Katsuo gave me that drink at the door and it was really good._

The brunette searched for through his jacket's pocket and pulled out his phone. The numbers were seen in double vision but after a good three minutes Misaki was able to text Usagi-san that he was with Katsuo and that he'll be home late tonight.

A call resulted a few seconds later.

"Hello," Misaki answered.

"Misaki, where are you?" Usagi-san asked darkly. Misaki could already feel the chills run up his spine hearing his lover's furious voice. "Are you out partying again?"

"I'm drinking with Katsuo," he explained sweetly. "I just wanted you to know before I forget. From the sidelines Katsuo greeted Usagi-san with a loud 'Woooo, hey Usami-sensei!'

"Where are you exactly? I'm going to pick you up before you get hurt or before that idiot friend of yours gets you in trouble."

"But I don't need a ride. Katsuo's friend is driving us," Misaki pouted.

"Misaki," Usami sighed, very frustrated and exhausted. "I'm going to pick you up whether you like it or not so you'd better tell me where you are right now or I swear my next call will be to Takahiro." Misaki grew furious at the threat. He was twenty-one and could go out when he wanted to. The audacity Usagi-san had to call up Misaki's brother and tell on him was a new childish tactic that set a fuse inside the younger male. It only added to the lack of trust his lover had for him.

Katsuo stole the phone from the brunette before Misaki could respond.

"Were at a wild bar right now, Usami-sensei, the one across town," Katsuo lied with ease despite his drunken state. "I'm trying to get Misaki laid with some girls, so don't call back." Katsuo hung up and burst into laughter. "That'll keep him busy for a long while."

Misaki smiled at his friend, glad someone had hung up on Usagi-san before the brunette exploded over the phone.

"I wish he would trust me more," Misaki admitted with a sad sigh.

"Don't listen to him," Katsuo advised. "I've never met this 'Usagi-san' but he sounds like an old fart and a jealous lover." Misaki burst into laughter right there feeling all his anger evaporate into thin air. Katsuo had no idea how close his latter observation truly was. Misaki wiped his eyes of small tears his laughter dying down to giggles. His friend leaned against him sipping his drink lazily.

No longer angry, Misaki filled with guilt and worry. Even if Usagi-san was being possessive again he really did care for him. Misaki did forget to text or call informing the man or even telling him of his plans, so maybe his actions were justifiable. He had been going out a lot more since hanging out with Katsuo. He really did miss Usagi-san, so it would be best to call him.

"I think he'll be upset." Misaki said preparing to call Usagi-san back and apologize. "He drives like a maniac when he's worried. I don't want him to get in a car accident." Katsuo stole Misaki's phone again putting it in his back pocket.

"No more talking about Usagi-san," Katsuo complained.

"But Katsuo-"

"SHH," Katsuo whispered pressing a finger to Misaki's mouth. "Relax man. You _always _worry too much. Have another drink." Katsuo placed another shot glass in the brunette's palms almost spilling it on Misaki's clothes.

"Katsuo-kun, I want to leave," Misaki insisted with a worried expression. "Usagi-san will-"

"Why are you still talking about him?!" Katsuo exclaimed. "He'll be fine… just- just don't leave _me_."

"Don't leave me," he repeated sternly. "Friends don't abandon each other." Guilt filled Misaki's stomach. He wanted to return home and call Usagi-san just to make sure the older man was safe, but at the same time he didn't want to leave Katsuo alone.

_Wait a minute… I can do both, _Misaki thought in gleeful revelation.

"I won't leave you Katsuo," said Misaki. "But I need to get home, so do you want to sleep over at my place?" The proposal lingered in the air for a second before a bright smile lit up the man's face.

"Yes! But right after this drink then I'll get- uh what's his name to drive us home."

The blond brought Misaki's untouched shot glass to his lips and-

"IT'S THE COPS! EVERYBODY RUN!"

-spilled the entire contents on himself.

Everything happened too fast to comprehend.

The group of girls sitting near the two males rushed between them knocking the uncoordinated men onto the floor. There was a lot of screaming as people shoved their way and stampeded to the nearest exits, some desperate enough to climb out the windows. Misaki yelped out in pain as his hand took damage from the merciless heel of a red stiletto. The lack of coordination and total madness kept the brunette frozen in place on the ground.

_What do I do?! Usagi-san, I need help! Where's Katsuo-kun?_

A heavyset man fell on top of the brunette causes the wind to be forced right out of him. Another individual toppled over and joined the pair on the floor crushing the man below them. Misaki from his position watched shoed feet run by in all directions, he smelled an overpowering smell of sweat and alcohol; the lights were on creating colors of chaos in the room. Also he couldn't breathe with his lungs unable to expand and all.

_Help me!_ He screamed internally. Only short gasps escaped and he clawed at the people above him trying to squeeze his way out but he was absolutely pinned.

Luckily a familiar blond shoved the people (with surprising strength) off Misaki. Misaki swallowed a lungful of air staring up at a panting Katsuo. Katsuo yanked the brunette by the shirt saying a lot of words. Misaki caught only a few like 'We need to…' and '…cops will be all over…'

Misaki clung to his friend.

"But we didn't do anything," he whispered in his friend's ear a little fearfully. Katsuo smiled guiltily like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Someone may have brought some party favors." Misaki's mouth dropped but he didn't ask anything else, deciding to ask questions later, and followed Katsuo's lead to find an exit amongst the chaos.

"Okay, climb out."

"Out the window?! I could fall and break something!" Misaki protested recalling an earlier incident a couple years back having to do with climbing out of a window.

"Misaki," Katsuo pleaded. The man sighed and said, "I do this only because I'm your friend." Katsuo pushed Misaki out the open window.

Misaki screamed already feeling bile rise in his throat from fear and rapid motion.

_I'm going to die! Usagi-san!_

"USAGI-SAN!" Thankfully he landed on a thick bush cushioning the fall (or murder attempt). Horrified he watched his friend jump out the window next swallowing down vomit.

"Geronimo!"

Katsuo landed on his back in a neighboring bush. Peering up at the window Misaki noted it was on the third floor. He could have broken his neck; Katsuo could have broken his neck.

"Misaki, get out of that bush! The cops are here we gotta run," Katsuo hollered pulling Misaki from the bush and dragging him through a dark street. Other party guests were running down the street. Siren sounds froze the brunette in place willing to surrender himself over to the authorities.

Katsuo had other plans and violently pulled Misaki into a nearby alley. The narrow alley pressed the two up against each other uncomfortably. The two wiggled around especially Katsuo who looked very uncomfortable in the position. The blond avoided meeting Misaki's eyes while his chest rose and fell simultaneously with his slightly labored breathing. There was something hard poking Misaki's naval and he tried to peer down to investigate but the lack of light prevented him from doing so.

"Katsuo, something's poking-" His friend's hand pressed itself against Misaki's mouth. He wore a furious blush and barely silenced the shorter male when the deep voice of a nearby police officer made himself known.

"Well, you thought you little creeps could get away," he said. "But you can never escape from the law." Misaki feared for a moment that the man had discovered their hiding spot but another few voices cut through to respond.

"Fuck you cop!" someone shouted.

"Hater," a feminine voice piped. "Cops ruin everything."

"I didn't know cops were so fat now a day," another slurred causing the three voices to chortle with laughter.

"Get them out of here," the loud voice commanded darkly.

"But chief," a meek voice cut in, "shouldn't we check the alley for more." The pair in the alley ceased all movement. A bead of sweat ran down the shorter male's face making contact with the hand pressed too hard against his mouth. The friends made eye contact shining with regret and apprehension.

_Oh no, will Usagi-san have to bail me out of jail? What if Nii-chan finds out?!_

Approaching footsteps grew louder to the area the two were in. Katsuo made a desperate attempt to hide the two better by squeezing them further into the alley. It pressed them impossibly close. The taller male's cheek lightly made contact with Misaki's and their legs were intertwined in order to make room. The most awkward part was the hard thing poking Misaki became more pronounced. Like the flitch of a light switch realization hit the brunette full force.

_Wait, that's…_

As the footsteps reached the alley Misaki discovered that the hard thing poking him was Katsuo. At least that one specific part originating in Katsuo's pants. But with the cop a few inches away the younger male could only squeeze his eyes shut in fear and deal with it.

"Don't be ridiculous, you rookie!" the Chief laughed causing the footsteps to stop.

"There's no way anyone can fit in that tiny alley." A brief frustrated sigh fell from the Rookie and his footsteps receded away from the alley.

Katsuo and Misaki simultaneously released heavy sighs as the cop car's engine started and the noise of it departing echoed throughout the alley.

"That was close," Katsuo breathed pulling a sweaty hand off Misaki's lips. "Were you scared?" His tone took on a lighter tone, teasing.

"No, I wasn't," Misaki whispered back fiercely. He attempted to move only able to squirm and lift up one leg coming in contact with something hard. Katsuo sucked in air sharply, choking off gasp. The blond bit down on his bottom lip forcing back a groan.

"I-I'm so- sorry, Katsuo-kun!" Misaki stuttered frantically, mistakenly he believed he'd caused harm to his friend in a very sensitive area.

"Its fine," Katsuo breathed. "Let's get out of here. Just… don't move anymore, okay."

Two uncomfortable minutes later the two tipsy males were freed from the confining alley. Katsuo walked ahead for a minute until realizing he was staying over Misaki's place. A little awkwardness would be worth it to see the inside of Misaki's pad.

Turning back he asked, "Is there any liquor at your place?"

"Here we are, home sweet home," Misaki called throughout the empty household. He had already texted Usagi-san on the way to let him know he was home.

"Wow," Katsuo whistled taking in the fancy condo. The blond removed his jacket drapping it over the sofa arm. "Your landlord's loaded."

"Yeah…" Misaki agreed, yawning. "I'm kind of tired; I can sleep on the couch. Take my bed, it's the room upstairs last door to the right."

"No, way," Katsuo protested. "I wanna drink first. It'll make me fall asleep faster." The blond demon put on his most innocent face pleading with a less-than-impressed look.

"It's Usagi-san's liquor, not mine."

"Where does he keep it?"

"We can't touch it, Katsuo-kun." Katsuo huffed dejectedly and began his trek upstairs pulling Misaki with him.

"I'm sleeping on the couch," Misaki pointed out.

"Think about it Misaki, if you're on the couch then your landlord will know you invited a guest without his permission." Thinking it through the blond had a point. "So it stands to reason that we should sleep in your room. I'll take the floor and in the morning be out before he even suspects a thing."

"But guests shouldn't sleep on the floor. The bed is more comfortable."

"Pu-lease, I've slept on concrete, I think I can handle the carpet floor."

"I'll take the floor then." The argument continued to Misaki's room. The brunette lost the battle and dug through his drawers for sleep wear. Pulling out a plain white shirt and a pair of sweats he handed them to Katsuo. He then pulled out clothing for himself. Too tired to care about modesty and seeing nothing wrong with changing in front of his male friend, Misaki pulled off his jacket with his shirt following suit. He briskly changed into sweats and tossed his other clothes into the corner wastebasket.

He caught Katsuo staring at him with a strange expression. His face bright red and eyes averted.

"Where's… um… bathroom?" The second the blond had the information he practically ran out.

_What's the matter with him? _

He busied himself by preparing a proper bed for Katsuo laying down more of his own blankets to ensure comfort for his guest. Katsuo ended up taking longer than expected almost causing Misaki to go hunting for the blond who might have fallen down the stairs. Katsuo returned to the room, with the sleep wear on and a bottle of Usagi-san's good wine in the other hand. And from the look on Katsuo's face he had drank a good deal of it.

"Misaki, this stuff is soooooo good."

"KATSUO-KUN!" Misaki shouted his voice two octaves higher. "He's going to be really mad. Oh no! Where did you find that?"

"Huh," Katsuo uttered lazily. He brought the bottle to his lips and drank the red wine some sliding down the sides of his mouth. Misaki tugged at his hair and started at the blond in horror. He didn't go in Usagi-san's room, did he?

"I th-think… you're landlord is- is a pedophile," Katsuo stammered with multiple hiccups. "He has a shitload of- of toys in one of the rooms. A whole room of teddy bears too!" Misaki found a nearby pillow and screamed into it. He prayed to God that his drunken friend would have no recollection of his little adventure in Usagi-san's room. He thanked God his friend had not stumbled upon Usagi-san's BL novels as well. Misaki would die if anyone ever found out about that.

"Katsuo I think it's time you lie down," he coaxed gently leading the blond to the bed since he was too drunk to notice. Katsuo flopped down onto the bed still sipping from the bottle like a baby drinking his mother's milk. The wine stained the sheets, but he'd worry about it in the morning.

Misaki located Katsuo's clothes and brought them to his room, then picked up the Suzuki-san's that had fallen out of the closet. By the time he came back Katsuo had fallen asleep, bottle in hand. Misaki smiled tenderly seeing the innocent expression Katsuo wore in sleep. No more over excitement or need to impress, just a boy sleeping.

Before Misaki hit the hay he locked his door, regretfully but necessary. His eyes were shut and he was unconscious mere seconds after his head hit the pillow.

**Yay! I didn't expect this chapter to be long, but I think it's good. It skips over the very beginning of the relationship moving up to a point where an average friendship is growing stronger forming trust as well. Sure friends hang out, talk, even party together, but I think a real friend would be someone who sticks with you to the end. They don't abandon you or take off when the cops show up without you behind them. Plus this is a different type of friendship because Katsuo can't really be deemed normal especially with his wealthy upbringing and arrogant attitude towards other people.**

**To tempt readers to stay the next chapter will have a confrontation with Usagi-san and Katsuo. Also it gets more complex with Misaki and Katsuo's relationship as well. I got a review wondering if there was something going to happen between Misaki and Katsuo which inspired ideas for my next two chapters.**

**I plan to have my next two chapters more comedic and entertaining along with some romance in it. After that things will get a lot more complicated with more drama. That is all I'm saying for now. I thank the readers for their endless support and encourage more reviews especially comments because they inspire ideas in their own way. Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7: Katsuo vs Usagi-san Part I

**Finally! My laptop lives and I have returned! Now we can return to the story. Yay! This chapter is mainly Usagi and Misaki, but Usagi and Katsuo do meet. So let the battles begin! Hope you enjoy and thank you for reviews. Keep them coming.**

**Warning: Adult Situation **

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 7: Katsuo vs. Usagi-san Part I**

* * *

_The greatest pleasures of love are inseparable from its greatest pains: Love has the face of a goddess, but the talons of a lion_

_-Ivan Panin_

* * *

Akihiko Usami burst through his apartment slamming the door against the wall violently. It echoed throughout the quiet condo the sound lingering in the still air. Usami was enraged; aggravated, infuriated, boiling… he was plain pissed off. The man had been running all over town searching for his lover in every bar he could find worried sick and horribly jealous. Just picturing anyone trying to take his lover left him seething and raving with jealousy. Not to mention he almost killed himself driving so fast and recklessly.

Then just shy two hours he gets a text from his lover saying he's returned home.

His little uke would pay dearly.

Stepping into his home the author spotted something out of the corner of his eye.

Turning around and slamming the door shut he saw there was a blue jacket lying across the sofa arm. Snatching it up in hand Usami automatically knew it didn't belong to Misaki. The material was meant for show, not comfort. And Misaki always preferred clothing comfortable and useful… and inexpensive. Misaki would have thrown a fit if the older man even thought of purchasing something so expensive.

It smelled of alcohol, lots of it. Glaring at the offending material Usami formulated three reasonable explanations for its existence in the condo.

The first reason: Misaki found the jacket and brought it home.

But Usami doubted that his uke would pick up things that smelled disgusting and were stained with alcohol.

The second reason: Misaki was given the jacket.

This could be a plausible explanation if someone gave it to Misaki to hang onto, especially if they were drunk. Although they'd be very stupid to give away such an expensive article of clothing. And would Misaki even accept such a thing?

The third reason: Misaki's friend was still in the apartment. Staying over.

It could be very _very_ plausible but the man hoped it wasn't so. All he knew was that if Misaki's delinquent friend was in his home then the man would be having a serious talk with him about how to properly use a cell phone and a few more in private.

Jacket in hand, Usami rushed upstairs, unconcerned if Misaki and his friend were asleep. Once he reached Misaki's room he planned on waking Misaki and ordering him to kick out the unwanted guest assumedly sleeping in the guest room. To his utter surprise the door was locked.

Misaki had locked the door, something he never did. Jiggling the doorknob in stunned silence he could feel heat spreading throughout his body. Pressing his ear against the door the man confirmed Misaki was indeed home by the sounds of his breathing, but the unfamiliar groan was definitely not Misaki's.

Usami on the edge of fury and desperation ran to the guest room finding it empty.

His blood ran cold. A black aura surrounded the man as he stalked back to Misaki's room. His eyes were dead set on opening the door. The man brought his fist against the door, hard.

"Misaki!" he shouted. "Misaki, open the door _right now_!" No response came from behind the door causing the man to rush to his own bedroom and return with a silver key in tow. The key almost broke in half when he shoved it in the key hole, but the man eventually got it open barely seeing past his hazy anger hands shaking. What he saw made him see red.

There on the floor under piles of blankets, cuddled up comfortably, was his precious Misaki in the embrace of who he determined to be Katsuo Watanabe. The two had never met although Usami heard plenty about him, but from this point forward Usami would never even remotely like Katsuo. He wanted to take hold of that little brat cuddling with his lover and toss him out the window or snap him in two.

But _Misaki_ let his friend stay over without even informing the author. And now this little brat had his hands wrapped around his lover. His lover! The two were sleeping together on the floor and the man felt like his heart was being squeezed painfully, jealousy and fear and anger.

_I need a cigarette, _he thought. He'd settle this predicament in the morning but not before wrenching Misaki from the devil's arms and carrying him bridal style into his bedroom. Despite all the negative emotions swarming through the older man's heart, he still couldn't stop the bout of love he experienced every time he looked upon his lover's youthful face.

He laid the young man gently on the bed covering him beneath the blankets. He muttered something in his sleep and curled into the warmth. Usami ran a large hand through the young man's brown locks and sighed in frustration. He'd get upset again tomorrow- today, later on, but for now he was content just snuggling into bed next to the lithe body next to him. The clock read five-thirty.

Nine hours later.

Usami watched his confused lover walk into the kitchen. The man had fallen asleep for seven hours then awoke to drink cups of coffee to stay up. Just as he predicted the dim flames of last night roared to life, especially after catching sight of Misaki's friend sleeping in Misaki's room. Along with that he found one of his wine bottles, empty, and only accessible from his bedroom.

"Misaki," he called out coldly. Misaki visibly froze in place turning his head slightly so green eyes met a pair of violet eyes. Usami was not in a good mood.

"U-Usagi-san, g-good morning," the brunette stuttered, shaking like a leaf and backing into the nearby wall. Usami rose to his feet taking four long strides to loam over his lover, not allowing him to avoid his eyes.

"Did you sleep well, Misaki?" he inquired sourly.

"I slept f-f-fine," he replied shakily. "I was wa-warm, last night."

"And how about your friend?" The brunette's eyes widened. He tried to look away but Usami took his chin in a painfully tight hold forcing the young man to look into his eyes; to see the worry, anger, disappointment he held.

"Usagi-san, I-I-I…. I th-thought he'd be gone by the morning," Misaki admitted trying to explain.

"Would that have made it any better, Misaki? I go searching for you when you didn't show up after school. I thought something bad happened to you. You didn't answer my calls and your senpai didn't know where you were. Do you know how worried I was?" By now Usami's velvety rose in pitch, inching to a yell.

"Usagi-san-"

"And when I find the two of you snuggled up together on the floor-"

"He was on the bed!" Misaki interjected desperately. "He must have fallen off."

"There's a guest room."

"I- he was really drunk. I d-didn't want him to get hurt." That was the wrong response because Misaki paled as Usami actually shook, barely able to contain himself.

"And how about this," Usami seethed through clenched teeth holding out the empty wine bottle Katsuo drank nine hours earlier.

"He was drunk he didn't-"

"Why are you defending him?!" Usami yelled releasing his anger on the frightened brunette causing the young man to flinch back unaccustomed to being yelled at. Usami turned away from his lover, so angry and jealous, and walked over to the sink tossing the bottle in the sink. The bottle shattered from the sheer force the sound echoing throughout the kitchen. No one moved.

"I'm sorry, Usagi-san," Misaki pleaded walking forward tentatively. The young man knew he screwed up, and wanted to make it better.

"Ever since you started hanging out with that delinquent you've been acting different," Usami said whipping back to face the shorter male looking down on him. "Going out all night and day with this _friend_." Usami spat like it was a disgusting disease.

"You don't listen to anything I say and that delinquent is to blame!" Misaki remained still his bangs shading his eyes from view. "You need to stop going out, especially with him! Are you even listening?"

"Do you even care about me?"

With that final comment the small male burst.

"After three years together you ask me if I care?" he hissed moving up to Usami meeting his eyes. "I messed up okay, I forgot to call and I was drunk. I'm sorry that I didn't want to abandon my friend." Usami stood rigid.

"It was wrong of me to do that to you, but you have no right to tell me who I can't be friends with and I if I want to go out I will. Stop being such a controlling bastard!"

"At least this controlling bastard gives a damn," Usami retaliated.

"You don't trust me!" Misaki countered. The one thing he wanted to voice most of all.

"Trust," he spat. "Inviting a stranger into my home, going out without calling, cuddling up with him; give me a good reason to trust you. Did you forget that I'm your lover?"

But Misaki would not give in. "I really am sorry. I should have called, but Katsuo-kun is my friend, Usagi-san, and he needs me. You just don't understand."

"He _needs_ you! I _need_ you, Misaki," Usami implored desperately.

The two argued. The couple hardly ever fought, but while they fought Usami couldn't help notice how Misaki's cheeks turned a reddish tint while he hollered or how his growing hair curled slightly at the end brushing against his milky skin. Oh, how he'd miss Misaki, oh how he missed touching the young man as well.

Misaki stopped yelling after catching a familiar glint in the man's eyes. The two were still upset, but at the moment something else was replacing it, or dominating for a moment. He shivered in response to the lustful look the older man was giving him.

Maybe on another day the younger male would try running, or yell out in embarrassment for the elder's perversion at such a time, but he was tired of being angry. Exhausted actually. Misaki hated fighting, and even if he wouldn't admit it out loud he desired for the older man's touch badly.

Misaki then did something he didn't do often. He lunged forward and kissed Usami. The man returned it roughly traces of anger impeded in the kiss, but overpowered by love. The man brought Misaki to him so they were impossibly close, dominating the kiss before his uke lost his nerve.

Tongues clashed furiously with Usami running his tongue through every crevice of Misaki's mouth coaxing soft moans from him. His fingers traced the curvy contours of Misaki's body having regretting that he doubted Misaki or his relationship even for a second.

Misaki tugged at his lover's hair, pulling him close as well. He pulled a way to catch his breath before Usami reunited the two again. The younger of the two felt like his heart was going to explode or pop out of his chest because it beat like crazy anytime this man did these things to him. Placing a small hand on the older man's chest Misaki was comforted by the fact that his lover's heart seemed to beat just as fast.

Usami flipped them around lifting up and placing the brunette on the counter's edge pulling his mouth away from Misaki's red lips to his pale neck trailing from the base of his neck to his jaw line with his tongue. The slow journey had the Misaki quiver endlessly as the evil man nibbled the skin along the way in a torturous manner turning Misaki into a puddle of pleasure.

"Mmmm, please," Misaki begged. Embarrassingly he didn't really know what he was begging for, only wanting Usagi-san and his touch and… his love.

The man wrenched Misaki's legs open roughly shoving his own hips in pressing them close together. Misaki clung onto the older man for dear life shyly thrusting his own hips and earning a groan from Usami. Misaki moaned right into Usami's ear turning the older man on especially with Misaki trying to quiet the sounds flowing beautifully from his lips.

"Misaki," Usami breathed into the shell of Misaki's ear. "I love you." The brunette's face grew red opening his lustful and guilty eyes to stare back into the passion-filled violet ones belonging to his lover.

"Usagi-san," Misaki breathed huskily voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry. I-I promise to call before going anywhere. I'm sorry… I'm not a good lov-ahhh! " The man smiled against Misaki having bit down against the sensitive flesh of his throat while pressing a hand against the hardness in Misaki's sweats pants.

"You're the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, so don't ever think yourself any less than perfect," Usami whispered in his ear; something only for Misaki's ears to hear. "I'm sorry, for not trusting you, I will make it right. I'll try to behave and respect your wishes, but sometimes I can't see past my jealousy when you're with anyone else." The man lifted the brunette's loose shirt, easily locating those hard pebbles waiting for his nimble fingers.

With the flick of his wrist Usami tweaked the hard rubies, loving the reaction on his lover's young face every time.

"Ah- no," Misaki cried softly his green eyes moist and full of confusion and undeniable love.

"I want to be the only one to touch you." Cool hands gently pushed Misaki down so he lay on the counter stretched out seductively for Usami and Usami only. The man's heart swelled with love ready to burst. His fingers pushed the offending material up to Misaki's neck to gain access to the succulent flesh under his palms.

"I want to purge him from your mind so you'll only ever think of me." Usami brought his lips down to Misaki's perk nipples gaining more stifled moans a minute. The older man began to pull at Misaki's sweats but Misaki stopped him.

"Katsuo might come down or hear us," he said with an adorable blush. Usami dove in with another searing kiss moving his lips with Misaki's making it much more intimate and slow.

"If you don't want your friend to hear us, then try to stay quiet." The brunette blushed harder. "But I won't blame you for being loud, because I'm going to make you scream."

...

Misaki arched his back almost screaming out Usagi-san's name. His body tingled all over as he came down from an unreal high. Every time Usagi-san wrapped his lips around that specific part of his anatomy it felt extremely good and the experience always felt new and mind-blowing. Usagi-san raised his head to stare at Misaki smugly licking his lips.

"That was fast." The brunette blushed furiously unable to come back with a cool comeback.

"Shut up!" The man held an evil gleam in his eyes. Peering down Misaki noticed the tent pitched in Usagi-san's pants. The way Usami stared at Misaki caused a shiver to run down the younger man's spine. This was far from over.

Unfortunately the little love session would be cut short by a much loved blond.

"Mi-sa-ki! My head hurts."

Usami had never seen Misaki move so fast. The younger male flew off the counter fixing up his clothes as light footsteps made their way downstairs. He pulled out various cooking tools turning on the stove, getting ingredients for breakfast, fixing Usami's messy hair, and standing by the stove innocently as Katsuo came downstairs holding his head in a pained grip.

"Misaki, my head hurts," he whined.

"I'll get you something for that, Katsuo-kun," Misaki said his back turned to the blond.

"This is Usami sensei," Misaki introduced with a nervous smile turning around. "Usami-sensei, this is my friend, Katsuo Watanabe."

Misaki sweat dropped as Usagi-san glared at the blond but it changed to astonishment as the author's glare transformed into a friendly smile lighting up his handsome face.

"Hello, Watanabe-kun, it's a pleasure to meet you." Katsuo, out of respect for Misaki's landlord bowed shortly.

"Same here… Have I seen you from somewhere?"

"Well, I have made a few appearances on television and written books."

"Wait a minute!" Katsuo shouted in revelation. "You're Akihiko Usami, the famous author. Misaki's landlord is Usami-sensei that is so cool! If it's not too much to ask can I have an autograph?"

Usami smiled kindly and replied back in the politest voice. "No."

Misaki's jaw dropped while Katsuo scowled feeling his face grow red.

"Can I ask why?" Katsuo questioned, completely confused and abashed.

"I'd prefer to not give my autograph to little boys that steal from my room." If Misaki's jaw could drop any lower it'd be touching the floor. Katsuo held a gleam of malice in his eyes along with tints of humiliation.

Katsuo seemed stuck for a moment, unable to process what the grown man had just said. It hit him pretty hard. Brown eyes grew hard and a similar polite smile, pulled on his lips.

"Well, that's fine, Usami-sensei. I just hope you know that toys are for little kids." Misaki sucked in a gasp, horrified at the exchange unfolding before him. Usagi-san kept a charming smile on his face while Katsuo appeared absolutely pleased with himself unashamed at talking to his elder in such a way.

"Anyone want breakfast!" Misaki piped in.

"I'm quite aware of that, Watanabe-kun," Usami said. "But I wonder if you are aware of how childish you are yourself. I honestly believed that a man at your age would have more decency then to wander in another person's room without permission."

"And I believe that a grown man shouldn't concern himself so heavily with the whereabouts of his friend's little brother." Usagi-san didn't even twitch, Misaki noticed.

"Really, guys I have steamed rice cooking."

"When my good friend's sibling is living under my roof, I believe that is reason enough to worry about his safety and whereabouts."

"It seems more like a stalker, Usami-sensei."

"I prefer to think of it as caretaker."

"I think you need to have more fun instead of staying home writing books all the time."

"Believe me, Watanabe-kun; I know how to have fun." The author shot a knowing look at Misaki.

"Well, when's the last time you've partied, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I partied as a child, not a man. And by the way, Watanabe-kun, how's the hangover?"

"Quite fine."

"You guys!"

"A little advice, rookie," Usami offered. "That wine you took was expired. I'd prepare for a long day spent in the bathroom." Katsuo's mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. He clenched his teeth not bothering to hide his distaste for the handsome man standing in from of him.

Usami, unfazed brushed past the fuming blond, who still held his head painfully, walked to the base of the stairs preparing to depart.

"Oh, and Watanabe-kun," Usami added. "It really was a pleasure to meet you."

Katsuo was still for a moment turning to Misaki, his eyebrow twitching slightly unused to losing a battle so easily. The brunette couldn't speak, just gape with his mouth open wondering what the heck just happened.

"Misaki," Katsuo said, a little too calm facing is friend. "Whatever happens to him, he asked for." The underlining threat didn't slip past Misaki as the rice in the pan behind him burned.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say that your landlord has stepped into the ring with me, and I don't plan on losing."

**Well, we can all see what the score is for this chapter (1 Usagi-san, 0 Katsuo). But will it be Usagi-san who remains the victor, or will Katsuo find a way to win in the second chapter. **

**I don't think I made Misaki to OOC because if seen in the anime or manga he grows some balls when he's really mad. This chapter also gave some insight to the past month where Katsuo and Misaki started hanging out and everyone can see Usami didn't like it one bit. **

**Thank you for support and review. Also review who you think will win, Usagi-san or Katsuo.**


	8. Chapter 8: Katsuo vs Usagi-san Part II

**I was so stuffed with homework and tests and stress this year that I haven't been able to update. Plus I really didn't know how to set up this chapter and had a minor case of writers block on how to go about doing this. But I'm back now and hope you all enjoy and review. Let the chaos ensue.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 8: Katsuo vs. Usagi-san Part II**

* * *

_Never compete with someone who has nothing to lose_

_-Baltasar Gracian_

* * *

Usagi-san was a weirdo. He was also a pervert who wrote BL novels and an eccentric, stubborn man that wanted things his way. The grown man had an obsession with marimo and collected so many bears they had to be stuffed in a walk-in closet. When he was upset he drove too fast and chooses the most inappropriate of times to put off work driving his editor insane. He also wasted money on unnecessary items

Despite the list of abnormalities making up Usagi-san, there was one thing the brunette could honestly admit to disliking the most. Misaki hated how he was the center of Usagi-san's world.

It wasn't wrong for the man to love him so much, but it worried Misaki sometimes. The brunette had his brother, nephew, sister-in-law, and plenty of friends. He planned on finding a good job after college that he enjoyed as well. In other words: Misaki had a life outside of Usagi-san.

Misaki knew it and he believed the older man realized it too, especially with Katsuo's presence.

It must have been the reason why Usagi-san began to kidnap him and take him out every single day for the past two weeks. Today the man drove him (at a speed way beyond the legal speed limit) to a huge amusement park.

"I want to ride that one," Usami said pointing at the ferris wheel. "Then that one." He pointed at spinning teacups. "Then that one." He pointed at a roller coaster with a terrifying drop. "Then those three. Then I want to take you to eat. Then we'll have sex in the hotel I checked us into." Misaki's face reddened.

"Stop saying that out loud!" he hissed. "And I already told you I'd rather stay home and rest."

"It's not safe there…"

"What? Why?"

The man said nothing. A distasteful frown made its way across his lips before he tugged on the younger man's hand to get moving. Misaki sighed, wishing the older man would simply tell him what his problem was. Perhaps he'd get a chance after a few rides.

The rides were subtle, except for the death defying drop on the roller coaster. Misaki threw up after that one and the two had to stop or he feared more would rise to the surface. As awful as he felt, the brunette was grateful for the break because it gave him a chance to speak to the author.

Sneaking a peek at the older male Misaki noticed how he kept eyeballing everything and everyone like they were going to attack him. The waves of paranoia rolling off the man were clear to Misaki. Along with the man's impatient twitches of the leg or annoying thumping of his fingers against the table Usagi-san never looked more nervous.

"Usagi-san, is something wrong?" Misaki asked bluntly. He was tired of beating around the bush and wanted an answer now.

Usagi-san ceased hunting around with his eyes and faced Misaki. The man opened his mouth then shut it again. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I wanted to spend time with my Misaki before Watanabe-kun took you away again."

Misaki was at a loss for words. That's what he was worried about? Usagi-san only wanted to spend some time together. He was probably jealous of all the time he and Katsuo-kun were spending together. Mainly it was because Katsuo-kun wanted to go out all the time, but if Usagi-san was feeling insecure the brunette could definitely fix the issue. After all…Usagi-san was a special person.

The brunette noticed the older man look off to the side again searching for Katsuo with a stern expression. Misaki reached over timidly until he had the older man's hand held in his. The older man's eyes widened in surprise at his lover's shy action, but a smile stretched over his lips anyway.

"Is there anything else bothering you, Usagi-san?" Misaki asked timidly feeling his cheeks grow warm when the man across the table squeezed his hand tightly. "Because if there is, tell me. I-I don't like when you're upset."

"There has been this one thing," he admitted meeting the younger man's eyes. Misaki leaned in. Usami leaned in close to Misaki's ear and breathed out.

"Watanabe-kun is in love with you."

Misaki froze, his hand went limp in Usagi-san's tight hold and his jaw fell open. Usagi-san's expression remained stern. It was all too much.

Misaki burst into laughter. Usagi-san didn't look pleased but the brunette could not stop.

_Katsuo-kun, in love with me? Oh my God, that's just too funny! _Misaki thought trying to stifle his laughs. The brunette felt small tears creep from the corner of his eyes and more than one stranger stared at the spectacle the college student was displaying. Misaki's face was pressed into the table and he banged onto the surface of the table with a fist repeatedly.

"Aha haha hahahaha!"

Misaki lifted his head cheeks full of restrained laughter. He got one look at Usagi-san's serious face and it came spewing out as he chortled endlessly almost falling back off the table.

"Oh my God! Ahahahaha! Stop it, I'm go-going to die!"

"Are you done?" Usagi-san watched the brunette quiet down into a fit of giggled, and then he broke into another round of laughter wheezing for air at the end of his little tirade with a smile and very red face.

"Give me a minute."

A minute of giggles later the brunette sat at the bench trying to catch his breath. "That is so funny."

"It's not funny," Usagi-san barked.

"Relax, Usagi-san," Misaki said still swimming in the aftereffects of his laughing fit. "Katsuo-kun is definitely _not_ in love with me. He likes girls. He tells me all the time, and at the parties he hits on them too." Misaki recalled his friend making out with a girl or two in the beginning of a party. By the end he was very drunk and tried to kiss Misaki like he was the girl. Katsuo-kun only liked girls though. He had a normal sexuality.

"It's the perfect cover-up for a homophobic," Usagi-san recanted calmly.

"Objection!" Misaki objected. "He even says he's straight, many times actually."

"I recall you saying something similar to me as well," Usagi-san added with a wicked grin. "And yet almost every night Misaki allows me to suck his d-"

"Ah! Shut up!" Misaki interjected shoving a hand over the man's mouth. "I get it I get it!" Misaki pulled his hand away glaring daggers into the man while Usagi-san smirked in triumph.

"Still," Misaki persisted. "Katsuo-kun isn't like that."

"He is in love with you, Misaki. I can see it."

"You think every person I hang out with is going to fall in love with me!" Misaki snapped. "Sumi-senpai is my friend and he doesn't like me that way."

"I forget that little leech is still around even after his graduation," Usagi-san grumbled to himself. "Misaki, if Watanabe-kun is really your friend you should have no problem telling him to back off, or at least let him know you are taken."

"That's…ah…" Misaki gnawed the bottom of his lip. "I don't want to jeopardize your career."

"So you're saying Watanabe-kun would ruin my career?"

"No no! It's just…I…I don't think now is a good time." Usagi-san frowned, but nodded in agreement.

"It's fine. I don't want you telling anyone if you're not ready to." Misaki was grateful. Still, telling Katsuo-kun about the relationship could work out… After all, Sumi-senpai knew about it in his own way and he never threatened to call reporters or ruin Usagi-san. If Katsuo knew the truth maybe things might be a bit easier on him. Katsuo-kun would see that Usagi-san was more important than a mere landlord and give them space. The only issue was…

_"That's gross." Katsuo and Misaki were taking a walk after going to a party. The two had to leave though since the power turned out and thus had nothing better to do. Misaki actually preferred the walk. It was relaxing to feel the fresh air rather than being surrounded by sweaty, drunk people._

_While walking the two were passing by a couple in a heated make out session on a park bench. They were both men. _

_Misaki blushed, embarrassed at witnessing such an intimate act in public, but Katsuo-kun stuck out his tongue in disgust. He motioned with his thumb at the two men and said, "I can't help but get grossed out every time I see something like that. Right, Misaki?"_

"Misaki? Misaki!"

"Huh!" Misaki peered up at the voice of Usagi-san calling him. His eyes were wide and his arm was hooked around the brunette's arm trying to pull him up. "What is it?"

"We need to get out of here," the man insisted yanking his lover to his feet.

"Why?"

"_Mi-saki_!" The author froze, a deep scowl set in place.

"It's too late now." Misaki's head turned to the familiar voice. In the distance a man was waving at him. _Who's that? _The brunette squinted in the sunlight trying to get a better look. He pulled his hand from Usagi-san's grip to walk forward.

The blond hair, skinny build and expensive jacket were a dead giveaway, along with the blonds' constant jumps in the air to get attention. "Katsuo-kun…"

"Hey, Misaki! Over here!"

"Speak of the devil," Usagi-san growled, "and the devil will appear."

* * *

"I am so glad I found you," Katsuo prattled. "These past two weeks have been boring and dull."

"You were sick too," Misaki pointed out. Usagi-san snickered, but Katsuo ignored him.

"Yeah… and the Demon Kamijou yelled at me for missing a day! He said if I miss another he'll kick me out of his class. What an ass," Katsuo complained shaking a fist in anger.

"Kamijou hmmm," Usami mumbled, a ghost of a smile curving over his lips. "He sounds familiar."

"That's so mean," Misaki agreed. "You had a good excuse. Didn't you show him the note?"

"Oh, I lost it. But this time I was telling the truth. Misaki, when we go back to school tell him," Katsuo pleaded.

"No way!" Misaki protested holding up two hands. "I don't want to die." Katsuo laughed and dragged his friend to a nearby eating establishment on the side with Usami trailing behind.

"What's with the landlord stalking you?" Katsuo asked Misaki shamelessly despite Usami being in hearing range of them.

"We…uh…"

"We were supposed to meet up with his brother," Usami answered. "He chose this place, but he was unable to show up because of work."

"Sucks, Misaki's brother would have been a better deal than the landlord," Katsuo said. Misaki shot back an apologetic frown to his lover. Usagi-san's expression was unreadable.

"That's not nice, Katsuo-kun," Misaki scolded. "You should apologize."

"It's not like he's your girlfriend."

"…"

The three sat at a small table while Katsuo stared at the menu. The blond then left to order.

"Usagi-san…I didn't know he was going to show up."

"It's fine." Misaki sighed feeling guilty, but was interrupted by a waiter in a unicorn costume. The man did not look happy prancing around in the silly costume.

"Are you Usami Akihiko?" he asked Usami.

"Yes, what do you need?" A whole group of unicorn-clad workers appeared with tons of ice cream Sundays and trays of food while singing.

_"Happy happy birthday!  
It's your special day!  
Know that we're all here  
To celebrate- Hooray!"_

Misaki and Usami were both caught off guard as the waiters brought in a mountain load of food of all kinds. There was no explaining needed as Katsuo strut down with an innocent expression. The bond took a couple of ice cream Sundays placing one in Misaki's hands and keeping one for himself.

_"Happy happy birthday!  
Hope you're in a hungry mood!  
Today you're one year older  
Please order lots of food!"_

Misaki was dumbstruck. Usagi-san appeared unchanged and unfazed until Katsuo stuck a finger in his ice cream and with the tip of his finger smeared a dab of ice cream on the older man's nose.

"Happy birthday," he chuckled. "There's a manager in there with your name and address holding a phone with the cops on speed dial. He wants to see the money." Misaki could see the imaginary scoreboard in his head. A miniature version of Katsuo-kun brought a marker down on board under the name KATSUO in bold lettering. And the point goes to Katsuo.

Usami stood up, a fake appreciative smile plastered on his face.

"Watanabe-kun, how did you know it was my birthday?" Katsuo's eyes shifted. "I completely forgot. Did Misaki tell you?" Misaki grimaced at the display. Anyone else would have found the exchange endearing, but Misaki knew this could only spell out disaster.

"In fact, all these dishes are delicious-looking," Usagi-san said lifting up a bowl of ice cream to demonstrate. "It's a wonderful surprise. Why don't you taste one?" The moment the question left the man's lips he sent the ice cream straight into Katsuo's face. No one moved. The innocent waiters in unicorn costumes quietly shuffled out mumbling a low, "Happy birthday" as they escaped the scene.

Misaki had never been more at a loss of what to do. Usagi-san had just thrown a bowl of melting gooey ice cream across Katsuo's face. The blond stood silently. Vanilla ice cream dripped down the blonds' face, only his dark murderous eyes visible under the lumps of white goodness.

"Oops," Usami said. "I'm sorry, my hand slipped. I hope it still tastes sweet."

"Tastes great," Katsuo replied sourly.

Luckily Usagi-san excused himself to speak to the manager leaving Katsuo standing there, boiling the ice cream right off his face. In Misaki's head a miniature Usagi-san put a point on the score board, and then did a mini victory dance.

"Misaki," Katsuo seethed. "Come with me to the restroom." Misaki didn't object and followed. Katsuo washed his face along with his hair and wet his shirt too. By the time he was clean Usagi-san already paid for the massive amounts of food. He had the waiters take them outside to give away to multiple children rabid for sugar. In order to prevent upsetting Katsuo further Misaki had Usagi-san wait outside the restroom.

"Did you get it all?" Misaki asked timidly.

"Yeah," Katsuo replied. "I really hate people who mess with my hair."

Katsuo was not anymore. The trio went over to a few rides and Misaki and Katsuo rode the roller coaster again. Behind the two a small child stumbled over bumping into Katsuo. The blond peered over at him with interest.

"Are you going to vomit?" The child nodded. "Come with me." Two minutes later the kid felt a lot better, Katsuo was feeling on top of the world, and Usagi-san had to leave to change his clothes at the hotel. Misaki was left with Katsuo.

"Come on; let's ride on all the rides before the old man comes back." The brunette followed quietly. All he could think about was Usagi-san, pretending to be the landlord/his brother's friend, for Misaki's sake. He really needed to make it up to him.

"Katsuo-kun, maybe you should stop messing with my brother's friend," Misaki advised in a joking manner. "I don't want to be kicked out. He's my friend too." Katsuo responded quickly in the same joking manner.

"If he kicks you out come stay with me. I know some brainiacs that can tutor for free. They're survivors of the Demon Kamijou's class too." The blond clapped a stunned Misaki on the back. "Let's go."

When Usagi-san returned the cool persona seemed to be crumbling. Katsuo "accidentally" dropped a chili dog on Usagi-san's _white_ shirt forcing the man to go change again. The three found a mini petting zoo. While Katsuo reached over to pet one of the pigs Usagi-san "accidentally" bumped into the blond sending him straight into the pile of mud below to lounge with the pigs.

The two fought ferociously throwing out verbal assaults at one another having long forgotten to be polite towards one another. Misaki was grateful the amusement park didn't sell alcohol or the two would be physically settling things with their fists.

"Misaki, can I stay with you?" Katsuo asked. "I got a ride here." Misaki knew it was a lie, but Usagi-san beat him to the punch line violently refusing for such a thing.

"You can sleep in a ditch," he spat.

"Misaki, can I stay in your room," Katsuo begged. Usagi-san gazed at the brunette crossly waiting for a response. The brunette gulped. Katsuo was staring at him in a similar fashion.

_I can't let this go on anymore, _Misaki thought with finality. _If Katsuo-kun is my friend, he will accept my relationship with Usagi-san. Even if Katsuo-kun is disgusted with me I won't let Usagi-san suffer any longer._

Misaki gulped, preparing his mind for a painful blow and opened his mouth."Katsuo-kun…the truth is-"

"That we only requested one room to save money," Usagi-san cut in. "But if Misaki wants another room I can get one." Katsuo looked pleased.

"Great! I'm going to go grab something, be right back."

Misaki peered up sadly at his lover once Katsuo was out of view. "Why did you do that? I was going to tell him." Usagi-san engulfed the brunette in a strong embrace. His lips found the brunette's easily. And for once, Misaki let it happen. He kissed the man, pushing forward rather than pulling back. Their molded together comfortably only separating once air became a necessity.

"It's because you were willing to lose your friend for me that I stepped in," Usagi-san whispered holding Misaki close. "I said it once: I don't want you telling anyone if you're not ready." Misaki held the man tighter feeling worse than ever.

"I'll try to make him understand…and I'm really going to make it up to you, Usagi-san."

"I know you will."

"I'm back!" The two jumped back right as Katsuo popped in. "I brought my lucky hair dye."

"Hair dye?" Misaki repeated. "You take hair dye everywhere you go?"

"Yeah. How else do I keep this perfect blond hair beautiful?"

"I wonder what the true color of your hair is," Usami commented casually walking past the duo to order another room.

* * *

"This is a great hotel," Katsuo complimented whistling as the two entered. Thanks for lending me clothes again."

"You're welcome," Misaki sighed plopping on a bed.

"What's the matter, Misaki? Are you sick?" Katsuo moved up to the brunette placing a warm hand against his friend's forehead. "Too much excitement for you, huh?" Katsuo teased.

"Let's watch some TV. They have cable." Misaki yawned. Katsuo took that sign as a yes. The TV was switched on.

_"Oh my God, keep going!"_

Misaki shot up in bed flushed with embarrassment. "Change the channel!"

"That's disgusting! Are those dudes?!"

_"It's so big!"_

"Change it!"

_"Harder harder!"_

"I dropped the remote!"

"Break the TV!"

* * *

The next night…

Misaki never felt so happy to be home. The college student lay resting in Usagi-san's cool arms after making love with his landlord multiple times. The two were cuddled up close. Misaki listened to the older man's heart beat as a distraction.

"That was really…"

"Shut up!"

"I've never seen my Misaki stretch that way." Misaki burst into a blush as he hid his face. "Oh God, please don't let me catch that in any of your perverted BL trash."

"Hmm, no promises," Usami chuckled pulling the brunette closer pressing a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you. I'm happy."

"…did it bother you a lot, at the carnival?" Misaki questioned softly still feeling the guilt in his belly.

"Ha," Usami scoffed. "Watanabe-san thinks he won the war."

"What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Meanwhile a certain blond was showering contently. He briefly wondered if he could get a few kids to egg the Demon Kamijou's home for giving him a big fat F he received on his last (plagiarized) paper. _Oh, that bastard probably had a smile on his face while he graded it, _Katsuo simmered.

The blond pulled his special hair dye bottle off the side of the bathtub squeezing out a dramatic amount in his hands and slathered it in his hair for a good five minutes. The smell was a bit…off.

Katsuo pulled his hand back noticing the suds appeared…green rather than the normal yellow like before. Green, his hand was green.

Katsuo felt the water rinse the hair dye shampoo from his hair and suddenly reacted. The blond rushed out frantically wiping the fog off the mirror. An audible gasp echoed in the bathroom.

"MY HAIR IS GREEEEEEN!"

**Yay! I did it! After so many months away I'm able to get this chapter out of the way and prepare for the more serious chapters to come. I hope you all liked it, and this has to be the longest chapter I've done taking up eleven pages.**

**As for a winner… it was Usagi-san. Yeah, it was kind of at a tie, but Usagi-san seemed to be losing (also seemed to be losing his cool) in the hotel. Still, I don't think the man would let it go so easily, so Katsuo has green hair and Usagi-san is left the victor (4 Usagi-san, 3 Katsuo). Congrats on those who guessed right.**

**Next chapter we'll be bringing in the egoist couple.**** Love them. Thank you to those who have reviewed and I hope you all continue to do so even after I abandoned everyone for who knows how many months (sorry about that). Review and give me your opinions on the chapter and I'd like to know if I did alright on the humor because I usually don't do humor. **

**P.S. check my poll and vote for fun. Do it. **


	9. Chapter 9: The Calm Before the Storm

**It's gonna get good. I just know it. Chapter 9 is here! Review people, and thank you if you already have.**

**Warning: Language  
**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Who I Am

Chapter 9: The Calm Before the Storm

* * *

_Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation_

_-Oscar Wilde_

* * *

"_Mrs. Watanabe, Katsuo-kun has been displaying some odd behavior and become very disruptive in class. Along with that he and another boy got in a fight yesterday. The boy was severely hurt," Mr. Hino explained. "Are there any personal reasons why Katsuo-kun would be acting out? Last week he was perfectly fine."_

"_I believe there is a reason," Mother sighed. Twelve year old Katsuo sat quietly in the room next door staring intently into the yellow plastic of the small table. The door to the classroom was left slightly ajar. _

"_He has been dealing with a death in the family." Katsuo sucked in an angry breath nails digging into the skin of his palms._

"_Oh, I'm so sorry."_

"_Yes…it has been very hard on my family. It was my husband's mother. Katsuo was especially close to his grandmother."_

"_I see," Mr. Hino said. Katsuo could already see his balding teacher nodding his head in understanding. "Death in the family takes a large toll on the child. Still, there is the matter of the use of language and fight he had with another student."_

"_My husband and I will talk to him and see to it that this type of incident never occurs again."_

"_Of course, but there is still something that confuses me… Katsuo seemed to be friends with the other boy, so why would they fight?"_

"_This is a difficult age for boys," Mother sighed. "They're constantly changing their opinions and friends. My son will soon be a teenager after all."_

"_Ah, you're right. These things happen. Boys will be boys, as my father use to put it."_

"_Yes, yes. Is there anything else we need to discuss?"_

"_Yes. Katsuo-kun's grades have been dropping and I'd like to ask if you know who he might have picked up such fowl language from?"_

"_What type of language? Was it the F word?"_

"_Ah… it was an insult to sexual orientation, if you get my drift. He constantly called him gay and said, well he said… F-A-G-G-O-T." Katsuo scowled from his spot at the table. Did they think he was five? He knew what Mr. Hino was spelling._

"_Oh," Mother said quietly in revelation. _

"_Thank you for taking the time to come to this meeting," Mr. Hino thanked. The slight shuffle of feet and Mother walked out with Mr. Hino. Katsuo's teacher waved goodbye, but all Katsuo did was glare back until his mother gave him a hard yank._

_Once the two were far from the school and alone she turned around and slapped him. He didn't even finch. Mother was crying._

"_Why are you doing this?" Katsuo stayed silent. "Answer me! What gave you the right to harm that little boy? The two of you were friends, Katsuo. He came over all the time…now his mother and the women always whisper about you and say what an awful boy you are. Do you know what that does to me?!" Mother screamed. "I hate when they say such things about you. It hurts me."_

_The woman sniffled and reached into her purse to pull out a handkerchief dabbing at her eyes. The mascara smeared. She wiped it off along with some of the face makeup, revealing the light purple bruise under her eye. _

"_I know this change in the house is strange, but you're father has changed Katsuo," she murmured lowly. "There is no need to act like this. Please, Katsuo, try not to attract this unnecessary attention to yourself. Be a good boy."_

_Katsuo's bottom lip quivered. He lifted his head about to reveal the truth. He desperately wanted to tell his mother his true feelings, the reason why he beat up his friend, or simply throw himself into his mother's bosom and sob, but he did none of these. Instead he released a soft, "Okay."_

_His mother sighed and smiled holding out a hand for him to take. The child took it and held it tightly._

"_Now, let's go out real quick. I'll buy you anything you want. Would you like some ice cream or a toy or a cool skateboard like the other boys?"_

_Young Katsuo would have liked to reply honestly. He'd say he wants her to buy back happier days or turn back time, so he hadn't hurt Takayuki-kun… He kept these to himself and instead asked for something else._

"_Hair dye."_

"_Hair dye? Why hair dye? You have such nice dark hair."_

"_I want hair dye."_

"_Oh, okay. What color?"_

"_Blond."_

* * *

"It's so strange to see you without blond hair, Katsuo-kun."

Misaki Takahashi had never seen his friend with his natural hair color. He always knew Katsuo was not a blond, but he never expected the thick head of black hair to be so dramatic. With Katsuo's light complexion the blond hair never held a large impact, but with the dark hair it popped. The black strands contrasted dramatically with his creamy skin.

Misaki found Katsuo looked better this way. His friend's irritated expression said otherwise.

"Don't get use to it," he grumbled. "My hair stylist said the green dye really messed my hair up, and the only thing she could do was take out the green." Katsuo huffed sinking further into the public bench.

"It's not so bad. I think you look fine."

"I hate it," Katsuo hissed. "I don't like my hair. I can't even look in the mirror."

"What's so bad about it?" Misaki asked. The irritated male scrunched up his face in disgust like he'd walked into a fowl-smelling room. He chewed on his lip and closed his eyes seemingly stuck in a dilemma.

"I don't want to look my father." Misaki didn't question any further.

In the two months Misaki had known Katsuo they had come to know each other well, but there were land mines they were unwilling to step on. One common thing they didn't talk about was their parents. Katsuo never asked about Misaki's parents for some strange reason, but the brunette didn't mind. Katsuo on the other hand could go off for days about his family like how his mother's cooking could bring tears to the devil himself or the funny incidents his younger sisters got into.

Hearing Katsuo talk about his family so fondly warmed Misaki's heart. The college student had been over to Katsuo's home a few times, so he knew of the trouble the twins and young Natsuko-chan could get into. Seeing the wonderful family made him a little envious too, because he would not be able to share those experiences with his parents…

But Katsuo never mentioned his father, ever. Katsuo's mother, Rika Watanabe spoke not a word of him and Misaki noticed there were no pictures of the man. It was one land mine he was unwilling to touch. Hearing Katsuo mention him was quite an honor. Misaki took it that his friend had grown to trust him enough to talk about him.

"He was such an asshole," Katsuo said hesitantly. "That bastard deserves to rot in hell." The mini outburst appeared to take its toll on Katsuo. His eyes were hard and fists curled so strongly they were white.

Misaki intervened and placed a hand over his friends. Katsuo looked up in surprise. His cheeks colored red and the male turned away to hide a smile behind a cough. But he left his hand under Misaki's, feeling much better.

A tingling feeling made itself know in his belly.

He brushed it off, but they happened more often every time he hung out with the brunette. Along with an increased heartbeat and this shortness of breath when Katsuo found himself a bit too close to the brunette, Katsuo didn't know what to make of it. It worried him. Glancing at Misaki he saw the brunette staring at a butterfly fluttering by gently in the breeze.

_He's such a girl, _Katsuo snickered playfully to himself. The thought may have been innocent, but sometimes Katsuo found things a bit off about Misaki.

The college student never hit on the girls at the parties. Well, hitting on them was such a bother anyway, but he could at least make an attempt at it. All the guys wagged their tails and drooled like dogs when a girl came in showing off more than enough leg, but not Misaki. He kept his eyes above the neck like a gentleman.

And when Katsuo finally found a girl to throw herself at Misaki, he politely helped her to a seat and brought her water since she was super drunk. No inappropriate touches or downward glances were made. Then more girls came over and Misaki was so dense he didn't catch the hints the girls threw at him.

Maybe, if he had a girlfriend it would be understandable, but Misaki was single. The guy appeared to hold zero interest in girls. It worried Katsuo.

Sure it made sure Misaki spent more time with his buddy, but the longer Misaki went without a girlfriend the more people would think Misaki and him were…

Katsuo shook his head. He didn't even want to think about the conversation he heard passing by a group of girls at school.

"_Misaki Takahashi is so cute," one crooned. "Do you think he'll go out with me if I ask?"_

"_Don't even try," another said. "I don't think he likes girls."_

"_What? He's such a gentleman and he hangs out with Katsuo-san. He goes to the parties and talks to the girls too."_

"_But do you ever see him leaving with a girl?" the third pointed out. "No girl has to tell him where her eyes are. Face it, that guy might just be playing for the other team._

Katsuo scowled, no longer in a good mood anymore.

Looking back at Misaki he noticed he had closed his eyes and lay back against the bench. Katsuo stared at the brunette's pretty face. Why did he have to have such a cute face? So feminine…but there was no mistaking his gender. Katsuo sighed.

Misaki is not gay. Misaki is not gay. Misaki is not gay.

Yes, if he just kept with this mantra then it'd put his mind at ease. Katsuo's eyes trailed down to Misaki's hands. They were small and delicate. No way in a million years could Katsuo picture the college student taking a hit.

_A gay guy might like Misaki, _Katsuo thought. The male blanched and simmered at the thought of anyone being with his friend in such a way. This wouldn't do at all. He finally agreed to a peaceful afternoon outside like Misaki offered and all it did was allow him to think and let his thoughts wander into dangerous territory.

Katsuo shook the brunette grabbing his attention.

"Huh? What is-"

"Do you like girls Misaki?" Katsuo didn't like the stutter accompanying the affirmative response. Katsuo gave the brunette a hard stare.

"Then why do you always avoid their advances? You like breast, right? You have dirty magazines, right?"

Misaki stuttered trying to get out an answer but Katsuo refused to let it go.

"Why do you sit and listen to them talk about makeup and nails? The other guys don't do that. They tune them out. Misaki, I've never seen you once try and hit on a girl even though you have no girlfriend either. Why?"

"I-I-I d-don't have t-t-time for a girl-girlfriend."

"Then why do you act so gay!"

Misaki froze. Katsuo sat stunned with a hand over his mouth. Katsuo couldn't believe what he just vomited out. Misaki looked a bit hurt and Katsuo was feeling some guilt build up.

"I'm sorry," he apologized filling shame at his behavior. "It's just…have you ever been with a girl?"

Misaki's face turned bright red, but he answered shaking his head slowly. Katsuo pondered this thought and was relieved.

"I can't believe it…you're a virgin." Misaki blushed harder biting down on his lip. Katsuo laughed at his friend having never felt so much relief in his life. Misaki had never been with a girl. Jeez, did his brother forbid dating or something?

"That explains so much," he said "I'm so glad. For a minute I thought you were gay." Katsuo turned his head letting the breeze hit him. Misaki, the virgin.

"You seriously can't get any more innocent than that," Katsuo snickered. But Misaki wasn't laughing. Katsuo saw the downcast eyes and embarrassment radiating off his friend. Or was that guilt?

"Hey, it's okay," Katsuo comforted patting the brunette on the head. "It's fine if you're a virgin. No one will know about it, it's our little secret. Alright?"

"Okay," Misaki replied quietly.

"I'm just relieved you're not gay." The dark-haired youth smiled into the trees.

Knowing that Misaki was normal relieved him of so much worry. Sure, it was lame for a twenty-one year old to be a virgin, but that problem could be easily fixed. But it also set another part of his mind at ease. The part that he'd locked up a long long time ago. The part that made strange feelings exist inside of him, like the time Misaki and him were stuck in that alley and how he enjoyed the way their bodies felt up against each other. Or the way his heart beat a little faster than normal when Misaki's green eyes seemed to sparkle brightly when he was really happy.

But now that he knew Misaki was definitely not gay, only shy and very inexperienced, he could rest easy. Now he knew Misaki wasn't trying to seduce him or bring out those cursed feelings. They were just two normal guy friends. Misaki was normal.

And Katsuo was glad he decided to spend some time away from the parties. The sun was shining upon him like the king he was and the gentle breeze kept him from getting too hot. Some small birds chirped overhead in a nearby tree bringing him music. The day could only be this nice when he stepped out.

Katsuo yawned quietly and closed his eyes preparing to take a quick nap only to open them again at the loud interruption across the street.

"I don't want to do this in public, Nowaki!"

"No one is going to care Hiro-san."

"I said no!"

"Please, Hiro-san. It's such a nice day and we've been so busy with work and never get to go out often."

"Nowaki!"

"Hiro-san."

"Fine I'll do it! But walk faster."

Katsuo's jaw dropped. His pupils dilated and a hand curled into a sharp fist.

Across the street was his horrid teacher with some tall guy. They were walking hand in hand and it was absolutely disgusting. Misaki seemed to have noticed as well perking his head up in their direction.

"Demon Kamijou," Katsuo breathed darkly nostrils flaring.

The college student could feel the anger rise in him. He couldn't see anything but the hatred he held for that man. This was just too good though. A terrible teacher like him would be a fag. It was disgusting and Katsuo could not stand to see the gross display one second longer.

There was no one who could have predicted Katsuo's next move.

One moment he was sitting quietly and the next he was hurling rocks at his teacher and teacher's lover.

While he hurled rocks he also made his voice heard by shouting out in a hateful scream, "FAGGOTS!"

* * *

**OMG. I can already feel the impatience from readers who want me to upload the next chapter which will be dramatic.**

**Sorry I didn't really put in the egoist enough, but I really want to do Hiroki's POV next because can you imagine how pissed he's going to get. And we'll see what's going to happen with Misaki caught up in the middle of it all. Also, after the next chapter we won't see Katsuo much at all (he played the biggest part in this chapter), but we will be bringing back Usagi-san and seeing a lot more of Nowaki and Hiroki. YAY!**

**Thank you to those who reviewed and I hope you continue to review because it brings me joy. If you review more I might type a bit faster too :) And check out my poll. It has to do with Junjou Romantica, so if you've seen the anime or read the manga, vote.**

**As a side note, Katsuo probably wouldn't ask about Misaki's parents since he got a hold of his file in an earlier chapter. I don't know if the file would have plainly stated DECEASED under parents or just put Takahiro as the guardian. In either case I'd guess Katsuo would be able to put two and two together.**


	10. Chapter 10: Little Words

**Hello again. This is the chapter I first thought of when I came up with the idea for the story. It's one of the scenes that stuck in my mind the most. Thank you to the readers who reviewed, and I'm flattered you like my story so much. **

**It's not perfect, but to know people encourage me to keep going because they like it which is awesome! Now, on to chapter 10! **

**Warning: Language**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 10: Little Words  
**

* * *

_My job is to protect you, Lady Glinda even if you are losing your mind._

_-Gregory Maguire_

* * *

There were cruel beings in this world.

Hiroki knew it the moment a random man threw a broken bottle at his head and screamed, "Queer!" in broad daylight. He saw it when a pair of girls giggled and laughed at a teen that played for the other team. The associate professor witnessed it in small children whose parents taught them to victimize the flamboyant gay across the street. The man didn't need to be told twice about the cruelty of the human race. He saw it too many times and felt the heat from their hate.

Hiroki Kamijou had been called every name in the book from fairy and queen to words much too vulgar to whisper in the privacy of your home.

The associate professor could easily recall his own personal attacks at a young age. They started subtly near the end of middle school, became horrible in high school, and finally began to disperse in college.

In high school the other students would jab at Akihiko and Hiroki from envy of Akihiko's wealth and Hiroki's brilliance in literature, and the fact that the two hung out together constantly didn't help either. Akihiko never showed any emotion when he was called something degrading and neither did Hiroki; it was no use to fight a losing battle. Once they fought back the attacks would surely grow more aggressive and the aggressors would be convinced of their so-called guilt. So they simply tolerated the cruelness of the world which inevitably ended up further isolating them from society.

It was an awful experience. It was an experience Hiroki vowed to protect Nowaki from.

He wanted to shield Nowaki from the hard stares and the snide remarks and the hurtful laughter and _those_ words. Hiroki would give everything to keep Nowaki from ever having to experience what Hiroki had seen and felt and endured. But, Hiroki wasn't very optimistic about his ability to keep Nowaki in the light forever.

After all, Nowaki was not a naive man. The two did not discuss the topic often. They simply accepted the fact that they were very much in love and despite any obstacles or objections the lovers were going to be together no matter what. But Nowaki didn't know. He didn't know what it was like to feel that heavy glass bottle cut the back of his head and grow so angry all he could do was run after the bastard to get back at the creep.

All he wanted to do was protect him. And if it meant sacrificing a chance to hold hands or a kiss in public then so be it.

Unfortunately his lover could very be convincing. Nowaki had the uncanny ability to lower Hiroki's guard and put his mind at ease. The cheeky brat liked to sneak kisses unaware of the dangers lurking around. Today had been one of those days with Nowaki flashing his brilliant blue eyes to do all the talking for him and persuaded the relaxed man to take his hand, if only for a second.

Why was it that right when he did take Nowaki's hand there was a vulture there to see it? And Hiroki felt absolutely sick because a second or two once their hands joined a voice screamed out, "FAGGOTS!"

There was no way Hiroki would show any expression or anger at the word being aimed at himself, but once some ignorant monster hurled it at Nowaki that was an entirely different situation. Once someone loved so dearly is victimized the only thing desired is justice, Hiroki style.

Everything shifted the moment a rock was sent into the back of Nowaki's head. The notorious temper of Hiroki Kamijou exploded ten times worse than it ever had before. All he could see was the trickle of blood running down the back of his lover's neck and a roaring fire igniting before his eyes. Flames consumed his entire being running through his veins, his blood screaming for revenge.

Whoever made the rash decision to hurt Nowaki, an innocent man taking a stroll with his lover, would pay dearly.

Spinning on his heels with malice in his eyes, angrier then he'd ever been in his life Hiroki Kamijou zeroed in on the boy holding a rock in his hand. The boy appeared terrified; from the distance Hiroki could see his small frame trembling and green eyes wide with fear.

_He should be scared of me. I'm going to murder him with my bare hands._

* * *

"FAGGOTS!"

Misaki sat momentarily stunned at hearing such a word come out of Katsuo's mouth. Then his entire being became engulfed in fear and disgust.

Sure, finding out that the Demon Kamijou was gay was a shocker; I mean who was brave enough to take him on. Yet, that was no excuse to call him such a name. Misaki felt revulsion at hearing Katsuo call the two men that word. They were human beings and deserved no such treatment. Misaki could easily put himself in their shoes if it had been Usagi-san and himself.

Then Misaki saw the rock hit Kamijou-sensei's boyfriend.

"Katsuo-kun!" Misaki gasped jumping to his feet. The blond almost appeared possessed. His brown eyes were wide so Misaki saw the whites of his eyes and Katsuo bit down so hard on his lip it bled.

"Stop it, Katsuo-kun!" Misaki implored desperately finding the strength and bravery to jump in front of the next rock clipping him in the shoulder. Katsuo held another rock, but Misaki snatched it from the blonds' hands before he could do any more damage. Taking away the weapon seemed to bring back some of the blonds' sense as he dropped everything and ran leaving Misaki there alone.

Fear overtook him once he instinctively turned to meet a pair of dark eyes boiling with pure rage. He'd never seen his teacher so angry before, and it left him frozen in place. Staring down at his own hand which held the rock, Misaki paled. His body trembled and he felt sick as he realized what his professor was thinking.

_I-I-I-I d-d-d-didn't d-d-d-d-do it... _

Despite his innocence in the situation, once Kamijou-sensei began to sprint in his direction only one word ran through his mind.

_RRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUN!_

He dropped the rock and ran for his life. It had to be the most frightening feeling in the world as adrenaline pumped through his veins and the flight response took effect. Nothing seemed real anymore. It had to be a dream.

"Get back here you son of a bitch!" That voice was too real. Misaki dared not turn back for fear one look into his teacher's boiling eyes would evaporate him into thin air or leave him frozen in place so his teacher would catch him.

_Oh! What do I do?! Usagi-san I need help!_

The college student ran past scores of people ducking into a long complicated alley way filled with many turns. The student made a sharp turn catching sight of his teacher and turning back into the alley just as fast. Misaki's heart beat so fast he felt it would pop out his chest or give him a heart attack. And he was sure he almost did have one when a hand reached out and yanked him with enough force he swung right into the other person's body.

"P-P-P-P-Pl-Ple-Please Se-Sensei! D-D-Don't ki-kill m-m-meeee!" Misaki wailed unable to stop from stuttering. The college student felt small tears prick the sides of his eyes, but a hard hand slammed a hand over his mouth to prevent any more words from falling out.

"Ssssh!" the voice hissed. Misaki shivered trying to focus on the voice. It wasn't Kamijou-sensei. It was Katsuo-kun. "Misaki, shut up. He's coming back."

Katsuo left his hand over the brunette's mouth and squeezed them into the darkness mere seconds before the dark shape of their teacher ran by shouting out multiple curse words, practically breathing fire. Once Kamijou-sensei's footsteps faded Katsuo released Misaki causing him to fall forward on the ground. Misaki breathed in deeply, desperate to calm his frantic heart.

"We have to get out of here," Katsuo whispered, his own voice a bit shaky. "I've never seen that queer so angry."

Katsuo's offhanded insult bothered Misaki greatly. On two wobbly feet Misaki stood in front of Katsuo blocking his exit.

"Katsuo-kun," he breathed out still feeling tremors rack through his body. "You-You, why did you-"

"I don't know, okay!" he yelled out running a hand through his dark locks. "I said it and that's that. Don't ask stupid questions like that, Misaki." The blond paced slightly from side to side nibbling on his nails, a bad habit the blond possessed.

"This is bad," he worried. "If I'm caught I am dead. So very dead." Katsuo sighed taking a moment to check the alley. Misaki waited quietly until Katsuo stilled in place.

The blond spun around with a pleading look on his face. Misaki eyed the blond oddly, aware something was about to happen or be asked. Katsuo griped the front of Misaki's shirt pulling him close and staring intently in his eyes. Misaki gulped nervously not liking the intense gaze.

"Misaki, I need to ask a very big favor; one that will leave me forever indebted to you."

"Wh-What kind of favor?"

"In the case that we get caught… will you take the blame for me?"

"What?!"

"Lower your voice! He might hear us!" Katsuo scolded doing another double take around the alley.

"Please, Misaki," Katsuo begged. "I'll do anything…just take the blame."

"N-No, I won't do it. I-I didn't do it," Misaki objected bravely. "You were the one to throw a rock at our teacher and call him that horrible name. Katsuo-kun, it would be better if you faced the conse-"

"And then what?!" Katsuo hissed. "Kamijou has had it out for me since the beginning. That man hates me and if he finds out it was me then I'll be expelled. I have two strikes against me at the school, and if I get one more I'm a goner. I can't be expelled, Misaki! What will my grandfather say? My mother will never forgive me. Please, Misaki…Do this one thing."

"I will get in trouble for something I didn't do," Misaki pointed out shakily. "I-I can't."

"You have a squeaky clean record," Katsuo argued. "Your punishment will be less extreme than mine. Trust me. I'm your friend."

"Katsuo-kun, I don't want to do it…"

"Misaki, please don't let me get expelled. I worked so hard to get in this school," Katsuo begged clutching onto Misaki tightly. Katsuo's eyes started to tear up and Misaki was reminded of the first time they met. Katsuo had cried in his shirt looking so lost and small and hopeless.

"Katsuo-kun…"

"Where are you hiding you little shit?!"

The two stilled. Kamijou-sensei's voice boomed throughout the alley. Katsuo wiped his wet eyes and checked around the alley flying back into its safety with terror written on his face.

"He's close by," he breathed. Katsuo and Misaki paled. "I-I think we need to make a run for it." Misaki didn't want to run, but Katsuo grabbed his arm before he could voice any of his concerns. The sound of angry footsteps kept both college students in place while the dark shadow stepped one foot into the alley.

Misaki braced himself for impact instead hearing the shrill scream of a cell phone go off. _Oh no, please don't let that be Usagi-san calling me._

"What?!" Thank goodness, it was Kamijou-sensei's phone. "I'm busy right now. Give me a second…Yes I am getting the punk…Let it go! Are you insane, Nowaki?!" Kamijou-sensei moved away from the alley entrance. Katsuo, with Misaki in tow, took the opportunity and sprinted from the alley.

The hard pull sent Misaki crashing into the ground. Katsuo continued to run calling back for Misaki to run.

"Get back here!" Kamijou screamed out sending Misaki scrambling to his feet. The small brunette ran in the direction Katsuo had gone, but found no trace of him and continued to run taking a sharp turn into another alley.

_A dead end! I need to get out of here! _Misaki panicked. He turned and caught sight of his friend waving at him frantically from a distance out of the alley. Misaki ran to catch up but suddenly found himself yanked back and slammed into the wall. The college student couldn't touch the floor since he was being hoisted up a few inches away from the ground. His eyes were staring straight into the eyes of his scary teacher.

Misaki was too frightened to even react. In the background he could see Katsuo staring back at him with equal amount of horror.

"I finally got you," Kamijou-sensei said darkly. His eyes were practically burning a hole into the college student. Kamijou-sensei's expression changed from anger to genuine surprise soon after getting a good look at Misaki's face.

From the large green eyes to the chocolate colored hair and frightened expression. This was Kamijou's student, Misaki Takahashi. Kamijou-sensei ogled at his student staring at him in disbelief. He couldn't believe it. The quiet, lazy, but usually decent student of his had did this?

"You're Takahashi-kun…Misaki Takahashi, you did this?" Misaki felt so dirty for a crime he did not commit. The way his teacher stared at him so incredulously made him feel guilty for running.

_I didn't do it. _That's all he needed to say. Four little words would turn things around and keep him from getting in trouble. He just needed to say was four words and apologize for running off. The brunette needed to simply fess up and tell the truth.

In the background Katsuo still stood waiting. His eyes were pleading with him. Should he really tell on him? Katsuo worked just as hard to get into Mitsuhashi University as he did, but did that make it okay for him to defend Katsuo from facing the consequences. Could he really do that? He was his friend. If he tattled then Katsuo could be expelled, but if he didn't then it would be equally as bad.

Still, Katsuo would have done the same for him…right?

_I didn't do it!_

"I…"

_You'll be the reason Katsuo gets kicked out of school!_

"I…"

_I didn't say it!_

"I did…"

_Think of your friend!_

"I did it."

Kamijou-sensei's eyes hardened once again. He pressed Misaki further into the wall, but Misaki went numb by then. His usually vibrant green eyes dulled and he stared down at the ground in shame. Kamijou-sensei's words passed through one ear and out the other. Misaki was dropped to his feet. Misaki's teacher gripped Misaki by the collar shaking him until Misaki gave him his full attention.

"Do you have anything to say about what you did?!"

"…"

"What you did was unforgivable and I'll be sure to notify the school!" Kamijou shook Misaki. The college student's head bobbed up and down, but he didn't seem to be listening. Kamijou's face grew red and his cheeks puffed up while he slammed his student back into the wall making sure Misaki's head hit the wall as well.

"That's the pain you hurt my lover with," Kamijou said. "But it can never compare to the pain it causes to a person. He's a human being and no one, especially a disgusting piece of work like you, has the right to treat him or me that way."

Misaki could feel his lower lip trembling as Kamijou-sensei continued to release his anger.

"I thought you were a decent student, but it really shows how wrong I was. Do you know how much that can destroy a person?!" Kamijou screamed in Misaki's face. "It's an attack on a person's identity and I could call the cops right now and have you arrested for a hate crime."

Misaki flinched but continued to stare down and away from Kamijou-sensei's eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Kamijou-sensei," Misaki dead panned.

"Little brat, why apologize when you don't even care?" Kamijou released Misaki taking a step back having dissolved most of his anger during the hunt for the offender. "Don't bother coming to school tomorrow, Takahashi. I'd rather keep the police out of this, but the least I can do is teach you a valuable lesson."

Kamijou then stepped closer so his eyes were at the same level as Misaki. "Don't mess with Hiroki Kamijou." Kamijou-sensei moved out of the alley, but Misaki barely noticed anything anymore. He sank up against the wall and sank to the floor. He didn't register the sinking sun or the occasional bum that poked at him. Neither did he notice the constant ringing of his cell phone as Usagi-san called him. Only one question crossed Misaki's mind, _Where did Katsuo-kun go?_

* * *

In Usami's apartment the famous author sat idly by awaiting his Misaki to arrive home. _He's probably with that delinquent again, _Usami thought sourly. Over the last few days the man had tried very hard to restrain himself from abducting Misaki and locking him up so Usami could have him all to himself.

Sadly, Misaki would resist and lose faith in him. Usami might have felt better if it had been Sumi hanging out with Misaki; at least Sumi wasn't in love with Misaki. _But why did he have to pick the worst friend imaginable? _Usami sighed.

Waiting for Misaki was lonesome. He missed the brunette dearly, hoping he would return home soon so he could embrace his lover and perhaps drag him upstairs to show him exactly how much he missed him. The man truly trusted his adorable other half, it was Katsuo and the rest of the world he didn't have much faith in. Who could deny Misaki's vibrant green eyes or his kissable lips? Who knows what trouble that kid can get into?

Along with Misaki's naivety of Katsuo's obvious crush on him and the fact that the dirty beast was a bad influence it further increased Usami's worry.

_Maybe just one phone call… No! I need to trust Misaki. He's growing up and he'll learn through experience. But could one phone call really hurt? Stop it! _Usami growled in frustration taking his cell and tossing it behind the couch.

Misaki was fine. He knew how to cross the street and take care of himself. Misaki was a big boy.

Usami sat up from his spot on the couch reaching into his back pants pocket for a cigarette. He lit the white cigarette when a bright idea hit him. Hiroki! He could call Hiroki up. It'd been quite a while since the two last spoke. Perhaps calling him would keep his mind off worrying about Misaki for the time being, Usami pondered with a smirk.

To lazy to dig up his cell Usami moved to the kitchen and dialed his childhood friend's house phone. He should be home about now due to school being over a couple hours ago, but if he was staying at the school to grade papers than he would be at the school. Usami called twice finally receiving an answer on the fourth ring.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Usami remained unfazed at the rude greeting haven been accustomed to Hiroki's attitude.

"Is that any way to greet a childhood friend, Hiroki," Usami sighed in mock disappointment.

"Listen Akihiko, I'm not in the mood to read any of your manuscripts any time soon," Hiroki clarified sharply.

"You wound me, Hiroki," Usami lamented. "I find it sad my friend assumes I only call for manuscripts. Can't I call simply to call?"

"That's heartwarming, Akihiko," Hiroki said coating his words in rolls of sarcasm. "I cannot deal with any of your bullshit today; it's been a horrible day." Usami frowned, not liking the recent turn of events. Hiroki did sound upset. Clearing his throat Usami asked if there was a problem with genuine concern.

"Does it have to do with your lover?"The other end was quiet for a moment as if Hiroki were contemplating whether to tell Akihiko the issue or not.

"Remember when we were younger and that man threw a bottle at my head?" Usami replied back, he remembered. "Do you remember what that man called me?"

Usami really disliked the direction the conversation was heading. He remembered, too vividly in his opinion. They had wanted to try out a gay bar that had recently opened up near Hiroki's place. It had been his idea to treat them and take the two out somewhere they could feel more comfortable. It was a decision Akihiko often regretted. Hiroki was a terrible drunk and attempted to kiss him after the two exited the bar.

A man witnessed the action from a bar across the street tossed his bottle right at Hiroki. It hit him in the back of his head causing him to fall forward. The two would always remember how the man spat at Hiroki calling him every name in the book. But Akihiko could never forget his friend's face when the man screamed out, "Faggot!"

Hiroki's face that day was one that would forever haunt Akihiko. The blank expression on Hiroki's face, shame lingering in his eyes, and the guarded anger hiding behind Hiroki's mask could never be erased. They were so young then…

Usami jaw locked in anger.

"Did a similar incident happen today?" Hiroki's silence was answer enough. "Who was it?" Akihiko breathed. "I'll find them and make them pay."

"I'm handling this problem," Hiroki snapped. "The kid will definitely be expelled from the school. It has a zero tolerance policy towards these kinds of incidents."

"It's a student of yours," Usami stated sadly. "How bothersome. It's a good thing you are expelling him. It will teach the kid a major lesson."

"Exactly," Hiroki agreed triumphantly. "This will teach that Takahashi brat to mess with me."

The cigarette in Usami's mouth tumbled from his lips and onto the kitchen floor. It rolled for a moment completely forgotten as Usami stood dumbfounded, eyes wide and in absolute shock.

"Taka-Takahashi?"

* * *

**Oh, wow… Did any of my readers expect this to go down this way? I feel horrible for Misaki now. He took the fall! And how in the world will Usagi-san react after hearing about this incident?! Also there was not enough Nowaki in my opinion, but they'll be a lot more to come. I hope none of my characters were OOC, especially Hiroki. I wanted him to be angry, but I thought if he saw it was Misaki as the culprit it might have thrown him off. What can you really say and do to someone who does that?**

**Oh and thank you to the reviews. Some are still wondering about Katsuo, but that will have to wait. Sorry, but he'll be back eventually. For now were going to hanging around the original characters for awhile and be hearing very little from Katsuo. I don't want the story to stray too far away from Misaki and the main characters because I just love them all. :)**

**Hope you liked the chapter. Review and check out my poll. Updates on when the next chapter should be up will be posted on my wall. Thank you for the support!**


	11. Chapter 11: Zero Point One Percent

**Now, let the drama continue. Thank you for reviews. More please! By the way, doesn't this chapter have an interesting title huh? :) Enough with the friendly talk, this chapter is serious, so enjoy.**

**Warning: Language**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 11: Zero Point One Percent**

* * *

_Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent of that_

_-Leslie Nielsen, "The Naked Gun"_

* * *

_This is wrong._

Usami couldn't speak or breathe for that matter. All he heard ringing in his mind was Misaki's last name.

_Takahashi…_

It was a lie. There was no way in hell Misaki would ever do something like that. The boy was gay himself! Takahashi was a common enough family name and Hiroki taught tons of students every day including ex-students that might hold a grudge against him. Yes, that had to be it. It couldn't have been his Misaki.

"Bakahiko, hello, are you there?" Hiroki called through the phone. Usami snapped out of his daze to answer.

"Yes, I'm here," he replied. His voice was very shaky. Hiroki picked up on the change in tone wondering if the memories of the hate crime bothered him deeply.

"Are you doing okay over there? You sound sick."

"I think so…" Usami sucked in a deep breath of air trying to clear his mind of the mere thought of Misaki being responsible for something he would never in a million years do. "So, expulsion sounds a bit harsh."

"I could have got the cops and got the kid for a hate crime. Nowaki was there, he knows." Usami gulped, feeling uneasy. There was no possibility Misaki did it, but maybe just to be safe…

"This kid," Usami said casually, "he must have been tall, huh? To go up against your scary face, he must have thought his height would intimidate you."

"Tall," Hiroki scoffed on the other end. "The brat was shorter than me." Usami gulped heavily. "He shook like a leaf when he saw me." _Okay, he was short…there are millions of short college students,_ Usami thought in an attempt to convince himself otherwise.

"He must have had blue eyes," Usami guessed.

"No, they were green." _Oh, no._

"He wasn't by any chance a brunette?" Usami queried now going into a mini panic. "His name didn't happen to be Misaki, right Hiroki?"

"Akihiko, do you by any chance know this person?" Usami's heart dropped into his stomach. It wasn't true. It wasn't true. It had to be a lie. It just had to be. Hiroki must have made a mistake and confused Misaki with another of his students. His Misaki could not have been responsible!

"Akihiko, do you know him?" Hiroki asked, this time in a very serious tone.

"I-I…It can't be Misaki. Hiroki, there has to be a mistake." The line on both sides remained silent for a minute. Usami clutched onto the phone tightly, so much it might break under the pressure.

_It's all wrong._

"Akihiko, it was a student named Misaki Takahashi. This is the second time he's been taking my class."

_No…it wasn't true. I'll never believe it._

"While Nowaki and I were walking past a park he called us faggots and tossed a rock at the back of Nowaki's head."

"It's not true!" Usami seethed. "You're a liar. Misaki isn't like that, he could never do that. There must have been some mistake of identity or there is something wrong with your eyes."

"He admitted to it!" Hiroki shouted in return. "He said 'I did it' when I asked. Don't you dare call me a liar when it comes to these kinds of situations." Usami felt ill, very ill. Thinking back at what Hiroki said earlier he broke into a cold sweat.

_The kid will definitely be expelled from the school._

"Hiroki, don't report this to the school," Usami implored.

"What?!" Hiroki screamed. "If this little shit wasn't your little boy toy the great Usami would never come to his rescue. Fuck you, Akihiko! I am going to report it!"

"Misaki worked very hard to get into Mitsuhashi. Please, Hiroki, do not do this!" Usami begged squeezing down on the phone tighter.

"Jesus, you know what you sound like right now: a kid. If had never revealed his identity you would have encouraged me to expel him, you wouldn't have given a shit what happened to the brat."

"Don't call him that," Usami warned. "I _know_ him. He didn't do it!"

Hiroki Kamijou and Akihiko Usami, two friends having grown up with one another from childhood, really fought. This was not the friendly banter they had with it other on more than one occasion, the fight remained bitter and threatened to tear apart their friendship. They spat harsh words at one another and tore one another apart with their words.

"I'll prove it!" Usami interjected. The two were panting by now, throats sore from the arguing, and ready to hang up by now.

"Ha! How in the world will you do that? I know what I saw, Akihiko. This is one truth that cannot be distorted."

"No it's wrong," Usami continued, "and I have faith in Misaki."

"Believe what you want to believe, bastard," Hiroki simmered. "He did it. You know what; I won't expel him today just so you can hear the truth come from his own filthy mouth! Let the truth destroy you Akihiko!" Hiroki then hung up.

Usami let the receiver slip from his fingers so it hung limply by the cord. He pressed his forehead against the kitchen wall to steady himself because of the urge to drink/smoke/vomit. He was overcome with a large amount of shame, enough to fill his entire body. The things he had called Hiroki seemed adequate in the heat of the moment, but as his rage burned off he regretted every word. He went to law school for God's sake! Couldn't he have found less hurtful words to say?

Despite the shame he felt in his belly, he would have said it a thousand times again to protect Misaki. Usami pushed himself away from the wall to reach for a cold bottle of wine in the fridge. Halfway into pouring the drink he stopped.

_I don't want to be intoxicated when Misaki arrives. _The author tossed the glass, wine included, into the sink cringing at the sound of broken glass. _Misaki will not be happy about that._

Usami sank down to the floor with a heavy sigh feeling emotionally exhausted. The worst part about the ordeal was the huge serving of doubt had placed within him. He loved Misaki and was sure of his innocence, but if he was honest with himself he'd round his belief to ninety-nine point nine percent. There was still point one percent chance Hiroki was right. But, there was no way in hell he'd believe him…unless Misaki admitted to the crime with his own words.

Usami tried to picture Misaki standing at a corner and calling his professor and random man faggots. He tried very hard to picture him tossing a rock meant to purposely harm Hiroki's boyfriend, but the image did not fit. There was nothing about Misaki's character that would cause him to do such a thing. Usami refused to believe it. Not even if Misaki were drunk off his ass or high enough to fly a kite would Usami believe it. Katsuo might have…

_That's it! Katsuo-kun would be the type of person to say that! _Usami could picture an image of the little demon cursing out at Hiroki and Nowaki. Katsuo had no problem throwing stones. There was no denying it. Katsuo was the culprit and somehow pinned the blame on Misaki.

The man stood up with newfound determination. He rushed over to the back of the couch and dug up his phone. Dialing with super speed he called Misaki. No answer for the first call.

_I'm sorry, your call cannot be taken right now… _The man growled at the stupid machine when the rings ran out. He called again.

_I'm sorry, your call…_ He called again.

_I'm sorry… _Again.

_I'm… _Again.

"Pick up, Misaki." Then as if someone had heard his prayer Misaki answered the eighth call.

"Hello." Usami frowned. His lover sounded strange, upset.

"Misaki, where are you?" The author already had his coat and shoes on ready to fly out of the apartment and into the streets to look for the boy.

"I'm in front of the apartment." Usami stopped in his place. He ordered Misaki to come upstairs. Misaki agreed and the two mutually hung up.

The author paced, forgetting to remove his coat in the midst of his constant movement. He just needed to see Misaki right now.

He froze mid-stride as the apartment door opened and a somber Misaki entered.

"Tadaima," Misaki said when entering the apartment.

"Okaeri," Usami replied carefully.

He eyed Misaki briskly taking in the quiet disposition and the way Misaki averted eye contact with him. There was definitely something wrong here. Approaching the small male Usami pulled him into a big hug. Misaki pulled the man closer pressing his face into the author's coat and breathing heavily. They stayed like that until the author finally pulled Misaki far enough to see his devastated expression. Misaki stared up at the older man like his whole world had been crushed.

"Misaki, what's wrong?" Misaki reached out and took the man's face in his hands. Usami noticed how cold Misaki was. Even the college student's hands were shaking quite violently. The author held Misaki's hands in his own. He was scared. He feared the way his lover's light skin appeared ghost-like and the completely destroyed look in his green orbs. The man just wanted to bring the light back to his lover's eyes.

"Did something bad happen?" Usami persisted. He held his lover close bringing a hand to run through the brown locks of Misaki's hair. Misaki wouldn't stop shaking. No matter how cold Usami brought the teen he did not cease his violent tremors. The brunette's breathing was hard and he clung to Usami so tight it hurt.

"Usagi-san," Misaki uttered.

"Yes, love."

"If something bad happened, would you still love me?" Usami squeezed tighter as if trying to press his lover so close they would combine into one person.

"If my Misaki broke every bone in his body there would be nothing that would make me happier than to care for you each and every day…" Misaki's breathing relaxed.

"If my Misaki committed a brutal murder my only highlight of the day would be to visit him in jail until the day he was released…" The brunette's hand found Usami's, squeezing tightly.

"If my Misaki slept with a different man every night I'd refuse to let him go despite his betrayal. There is nothing you could have done that will stop me from loving you, Misaki." Misaki stared up at Usami shedding tears galore.

"I-I'm sorry, Usagi-san," he cried. "I think I'm going to be expelled from my school."

"What did you do that was so bad?" Usami asked. This was it. The moment of truth was here and the author waited anxiously as Misaki appeared to struggle with his answer. He opened his mouth and then shut it. The brunette repeated the action a couple more times before responding to the question.

"I-I…" The author had to restrain himself from pressing Misaki any further. He needed to hear the truth straight from Misaki.

"I did something bad."

"Like what?"_ Just say it. Tell me you took the blame for your disgusting friend. Just tell the truth Misaki._

"I…" _Just say it! _

"I offended my teacher in the worst possible way," he said. He looked away from Usami while Usami became paralyzed. No, Misaki couldn't possibly admit to the crime. He was innocent.

"I have an old friend," Usami announced. "His name is Hiroki Kamijou and he teaches at M University." This time it was Misaki's turn to completely freeze up. The brunette's eyes widened and whatever remaining blood existed in his face drained out.

"He told me of an incident that occurred to him and his boyfriend while walking in the park." Misaki attempted to pull away and run off, but Usami gripped onto the younger male's shoulder so he could not move and stay in place to stare the author straight in the eyes.

"Misaki, do you know what Hiroki and his boyfriend were called while they passed through the park today."

_Deny it, Misaki, _Usami begged in his head, his eyes pleading with his lover. _Say anything but the right answers. Please don't let that zero point one percent be right. Please, Misaki._

Misaki's lower lip trembled and the world stood still for the two. Misaki opened his mouth and replied in a voice so low if the two were talking outside the wind would have picked up his words and carried them away, but they weren't outside and Usami heard perfectly.

"Faggots."

* * *

***GASP* Even I surprised myself when I finished. I wanted chapter 10 to dominate, but this one, in my opinion, blew it away. I didn't plan the fight between Hiroki and Usagi-san, but both are pretty stubborn and I'm really glad it worked out. Hiroki was mad that Nowaki was hurt combined with Usagi-san's protectiveness for Misaki made this the perfect stage for a fight as sad as that is T-T**

**I really hope I kept Usagi-san in character. I have the most trouble with Hiroki and Usagi-san. Also I am so pissed that I haven't brought Nowaki in yet! So, instead of telling you I will bringing him in I will just let it happen. One thing I am sure of Katsuo being gone for a bit. I really liked this chapter, and I hope you like it too. **

**Thank you for reviews! Keep doing that. Love to all the readers and happy summer break to all students getting a break! Summer break = lots of updates**

**P.S. Awesome if anyone has ever seen the movie THE NAKED GUN which I took the quote from. If you haven't seen it, go watch it.**


	12. Chapter 12: Hiroki's Mercy

**Number 12 folks, is here! I love everyone that reviewed, I got so many in such a short amount of time and they encouraged me to start on this chapter right away. Thank you so much! Some of your reviews are turning a bit sour towards Katsuo and upset at Misaki. Believe me I had the toughest time trying to make it convincing enough to get Misaki to take the blame, and as much as I hate what's happening to Misaki it is essential. Don't worry though, Misaki can't lie down and roll over forever. That's all I'll say. Please read, review, and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 12: Hiroki's Mercy**

* * *

_I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant_

_-Robert McCloskey_

* * *

Nowaki flinched when Hiro-san slammed the receiver down with so much force he worried the man might have broke it. Hiro-san had his back to Nowaki, but the observant man still saw the slumped shoulders and sad disposition. After such a hard day Hiro-san's anger depleted and all that remained was his unbearable sadness.

The phone call with Usami did not make things any better. From his inconspicuous spot on the couch Nowaki could deduce that the boy from earlier to bother them was Usami's boyfriend, and from the screaming match Nowaki deterred that Usami was defending his lover one hundred percent. Nowaki could understand Usami's reasoning, but he saw Hiro-san's as well.

The incident clearly bothered him. As for himself, he didn't like the way the young man insulted him and his lover, but there was no reason to let it bother them so much. Nowaki wondered if Hiro-san was more upset at the fact that the young man had hit him with the rock. Nowaki felt for the back of his head feeling the slight bump and the healing scab that formed over the small cut. The rock hurt like a swift sting, but head wounds just bled a lot more than others.

Nowaki had sat quietly listening to his lover's conversation. Once the call started to turn into an big argument, a series one, Nowaki feared his lover would start to say things he might regret. And from Hiro-san's position he did appear to be regretful holding a hand over his eyes and taking in deep breaths to calm down.

Usami may not have been the man's friend, but he was still Hiro-san's friend. Weren't they childhood friends? Why would Usami turn his back so quickly to defend another? Peering over at Hiro-san Nowaki sighed because he probably would have done the same thing.

Rising to his feet the tall man took two long strides and brought his lover into his warm embrace from behind. Hiro-san stayed still and did not struggle.

"How's your head?" he asked.

"Fine, it doesn't hurt. Are you okay?" Nowaki traced an invisible line down the professor's arm. Hiroki nodded. "Hungry?"

"No," Hiroki grumbled. The shorter man untangled his body from Nowaki's embrace to sit at the kitchen table, head in hand. Feeling at a loss of what to do Nowaki began to whip up something to eat. A simple soup might work and while he stirred the substance he stole glances at the unmoving man sitting at their table. Hiro-san didn't snap at him for staring either, it worried Nowaki.

Nowaki gave the delicious concoction time to cool pacing a lid over it and turned the stove off. He joined the older man taking a seat across from him trying to make as little noise possible. The smallest sounds echoed and lingered in the uncomfortable atmosphere. Stretching a long arm across the table Nowaki applied the softest of pressures the shorter man's free hand. He traced the pattern of lines going over his palm.

He felt the need to be careful right now. He didn't want to reawaken any reserve anger or upset his lover in any way. He just needed some comfort and food.

"I love you."

Nowaki stilled. He met his lover's eyes. There was no blush or nervousness found in the confession. A small smile tugged on Nowaki's lips.

"I love you too, Hiro-san."

The professor eyed the soup on the stove motioning to it with the gesture of his thumb. Nowaki sprung into action serving Hiro-san first and then one of his own. The two ate silently. Nowaki searched his brain for a subject to talk about anything that might take Hiro-san's mind off of the incident earlier.

"A stray dog wandered into the hospital today," Nowaki started. "He slipped past all the doctors and ran straight for the children's ward. The kids were so happy to see him and it took three doctors and two nurses to catch him. Tsumori-senpai tripped over the dog and fell forward hitting the wall."

The professor across the table snorted trying to hold back a grin by biting down on his lower lip. "What happened to the dog?"

"Mmmm, they eventually caught him, but one of the doctors decided to take him home. I think the children named him Lightening."

"Lightening? That's a funny name to give to a dog," Hiro-san commented.

"He was very fast." The two exchanged simple conversation. The talk may have been carefree but the carefulness to avoid treading on dangerous ground still remained. Once the two were finished and the dishes were washed they sat back on the couch and put on a movie. Something romantic, but Nowaki didn't think either was paying any attention. His Hiro-san stared straight at the screen, but he wasn't focused.

"Hiro-san, what are you going to do?" Nowaki queried. There was no need to specify what he was asking about.

"Expel the brat," he answered just as fast.

"There are other methods Hiro-san," Nowaki offered. The older man snapped his head to in Nowaki's direction.

"Like what?" Nowaki gulped. He had to be careful not to upset the man, but still tell him his honest opinion.

"Well, I think what he did was wrong, but expulsion sounds too harsh. He's still young and can learn a lesson with less drastic measure."

"Duly noted," he replied. Nowaki sighed shaking his head.

"Please don't let it upset you so much Hiro-san," Nowaki sighed.

"The brat said something that can never be taken back," Hiro-san growled. "Akihiko would rather side with said brat then believe me, and now I'm the bad guy. He deserves every single thing that's coming to him. Why should I let him off the hook?" Hiroki turned his eyes back to Nowaki flashing with a blaze of fire.

"His apology was nowhere near sincere and I don't see him coming to beg for forgiveness."

Hiroki attempted to say more when the door bell rang.

"Who comes over at this hour," Hiroki complained as by now it was dark outside. The teacher moved from his spot on the couch to get the door. Nowaki sat back deciding to change the channel as he had nothing better to do.

"What are you doing here?" Nowaki rose walking over to the place his lover sat. The man's eyes widened when he saw Usami standing in the doorway with a younger male at his side. The boy appeared to be I his late teens or early twenties. The doctor in Nowaki became alarmed at his pale complexion, but from the way Hiro-san glared at him it was better to say nothing.

The question had been directed towards the boy who Nowaki recalled from the phone call was Misaki Takahashi. This was the person who caused the big scene today. Nowaki frowned. He didn't like the way Misaki had hurt his lover, so he received some satisfaction when seeing his face so grim.

"He's here to apologize," Usami answered. His eyes drifted to the brunette before him giving him an encouraging push in Hiro-san's direction.

"I don't want his apology," Hiroki spat attempting to shut the door in their faces. Usami's arm reached out to stop the door slamming down on his fingers in the process.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki cried out from behind the door. _Mr. Rabbit?_

Hiroki ripped the door open glaring intently at Usami. Usami's face appeared unchanged having not yelled or cringed when the door slammed on his now slightly bleeding fingers. His fingers were now resting in Misaki's hands holding them in a soft hold. Nowaki found the scene strange.

It was clear the boy cared for Usami, but that would mean he was gay since Usami was his boyfriend. Then why would he use such harsh terms to demean another gay person? Nothing seemed to make sense.

"He's here to apologize," Usami repeated.

"Can't you hear," Hiroki seethed. "I refuse to take it. Now leave."

"Hear him out, Hiro-san," Nowaki interjected. Usami and Misaki both appeared stunned at his words. Hiroki's mouth fell open.

"Did I hear correctly?" Hiroki gaped staring at Nowaki like he was the biggest traitor in the room. "Hear him out. Why should I? This boy deserves no mercy!" Misaki flinched at his teacher's strong words staring down into the ground. Nowaki did not let up.

"Please, I think this would be better than expelling him." Hiroki stood completely outnumbered and feeling a bit betrayed that Nowaki did not have his back with his decision. "At least hear him out before doing anything rash." The professor grit his teeth shoving the door so it swung open and walking into the kitchen.

Nowaki sighed heavily feeling the start of a headache. He turned his solid blue eyes at the pale boy.

"What you did today was inexcusable," he scolded, "and if you had hit my lover instead of me I might have agreed with expulsion."

Nowaki continued. "But you are young and I believe everyone deserves a second chance to redeem themselves." Misaki stared up at the handsome man, in an admirable way. Nowaki stepped aside motioning the two inside out from the night chill. They made their way into the kitchen. Usami and Nowaki stayed a few feet behind while Misaki went over to his teacher. The man had his back to Misaki, but the tense stance made it clear he knew Misaki was there.

"Well?" Hiroki asked impatiently half-turning to face his student.

"I'm…I'm so sorry," Misaki apologized sucking in a nervous breath. "I regret my actions dearly and will do anything to make it up the best I can to Sensei and…to his boyfriend." Hiroki appeared unfazed.

"What punishment would you deem suitable?" Hiroki questioned aiming it directly at his student.

"I…I don't know," Misaki admitted. Wrong answer.

"Expulsion would have been perfect!" Hiroki yelled. Misaki recoiled slightly at the ferocity in his teacher's eyes. The whole situation seemed to nerve wracking for the student. The brunette appeared frightened. After all, here he was at the mercy of his frightening teacher in his teacher's house.

"Frankly you deserve much worse for disrespecting your teacher and a talented doctor," Hiroki huffed. Nowaki hid a smile at Hiroki's compliment. "To make it up to me you are going to do any assignment I assign outside of homework and anything else I can think of."

"Yes, Sensei," Misaki agreed shaking his head in rapid appreciation.

"Now," Hiroki began. "Tonight you will go home and write a ten thousand word essay about the wrongs of prejudices against homosexuals which will be presented to the entire class. That will be due in two days from now during class and I want it to be perfect. After that you will write a five thousand apology letter each to Nowaki and myself, understand? That will be due the day after the essay is turned in. Are you taking notes because I will not repeat myself."

Misaki visibly blanched at the thought of writing so much in so little time but kept his mouth shut. Hiroki seemed to enjoy this type of torture as well because he continued. He maliciously enjoyed stacking the number of tasks on top of Misaki's head. Nowaki had a point, this was a nicer idea.

In the background Usami was taking notes in notepad pulled out of his coat pocket.

"If you miss a day of my class you will be expelled. If you are late to my class you will be expelled." Misaki wanted to cry. "No sleeping, slacking off, or missing any assignments. Do you have anything you want to add, Nowaki?"

"How about volunteering at the hospital I work at?"

"Perfect! Starting at six in the morning you will go to the hospital Nowaki works at and volunteer for five hours. This will account for both Saturday and Sunday. Miss one day or arrive late will end in your expulsion from Mitsuhashi University. Nowaki, this was a really good idea."

?

Usami and Misaki left Hiroki and Nowaki's apartment an hour later. Usami carried his mini notebook meant for on-the-spot ideas for his books, but tonight the pages were filled with tasks, assignments, and warnings. He followed behind Misaki closely. The brunette walked like a zombie, his brain on the edge of exploding.

Reaching Usami's red sports car they got in the car and sat quietly. Usami proceeded to read off the notes.

"A ten thousand word essay on the wrongs of prejudices against homosexuals to be presented, two five thousand word apology letters, basically the completion of Hiroki's class with an A, five hour volunteer work at the hospital every Saturday and Sunday, Usami Akihiko is to have absolutely no interference or assist Misaki Takahashi with any school work, and the number of demands are not limited to these and can be increased or changed by Hiroki Kamijou or Nowaki Kusama at any time."

Usami sighed heavily starting the car and pulling out of the parking space and onto the road. Neither spoke. It bothered Usami immensely because Misaki stayed quiet without making a peek or voicing any complaints about the agreement.

The author could honestly say the agreement was less harsh than a total expulsion, but the whole situation made him sick. There was something very wrong with it and Misaki refused to tell him what it was.

_I did it Usagi-san! I did it! _

The man cringed at the recent memory which occurred no longer than a few hours ago. Having to hear Misaki admit to the crime disturbed the man and sent his mind spiraling. If any of this were true then he must not be dreaming, no it was a nightmare. Misaki wasn't making sense and went berserk in their living room. The sight had sent a violent shiver down the man's spine, and not the good kind.

He didn't want to remember, but the memory came to him anyway.

"_Misaki, you didn't do it," Usami whispered. But it wasn't to convince Misaki, it was to convince himself. Misaki tried to tear his way from Usami's hold, but the man only griped tighter._

"_I did it," Misaki muttered staring down at his shoes. Fire burned behind Usami's eyes as he shook the boy quickly grabbing his attention._

"_Katsuo was responsible, wasn't he?" Usami proclaimed. "And my Misaki is taking the blame for it." Misaki's expression didn't change. It grew sad and teary._

"_Katsuo wasn't near me, Usagi-san. I was alone." Usami released his hold on the boy moving so close to his face Misaki could feel his smoky breath brush across his face._

"_Stop lying, Misaki."_

"_I'm not lying. I called my teacher and his boyfriend faggots," Misaki claimed his voice rising in pitch. Usami covered his ears in a childish manner, unwilling to listen. He was unwilling to accept it._

"_I picked up the nearest rock and tossed it at the back of Kamijou-sensei's boyfriend's head."_

"_Stop it," Usami begged. "It's not true."_

"_I tried to get away when Kamijou-sensei saw me with the other rock in my hand."_

"_Please."_

"_I admitted to it!"_

"_No, it wasn't you."_

"_Don't you understand? I did it Usagi-san! I did it!"_

"_Why?" Usami all but roared letting that percent of doubt he held cloud his mind. He loved Misaki, but there was no reason, no motive, no logic behind it all. Why would he do it? Misaki cared about everyone. This wasn't Misaki. Not this man standing before him with the dead look in his eyes or the paleness to his face. He came in here fearful of their relationship because he was afraid…_

_Afraid of what? Usami's mind taunted. He was afraid Usami would be upset that he was going to be expelled. Still, Misaki had also been fearful of Usami's reaction when he heard of the incident earlier. Misaki acted like he actually did it. _

_But I'm afraid it's true… Usami thought. There was too much evidence against Misaki. Hiroki saw him standing there alone, no Katsuo in sight, no blond around. This was one case the man could not defend. Misaki being the criminal and confessing to his crimes like a good boy should._

_Now he stood to wait for Misaki's answer. Why did he do it? Why? Why? Why? _

_Misaki raised his eyes to Usami's, still shielding the emotions so Usami could not read him. It was something Usami had never seen on Misaki. Misaki wore his heart on his sleeve… There was no reason for him to mask his true feelings. Yet, here Usami sat clueless and unable to decipher what his lover of three years was thinking._

_Usami waited… He wanted to hear Misaki's answer._

"_Is there a such a reason that exists?"_

* * *

**Okay everyone, do not start freaking out. And don't kill me yet. Misaki, yes, he is protecting his friend, and Usagi-san is too observant and knowing to not notice the strangeness of the situation. So, Misaki has to make this convincing, but there is no way in hell I plan on letting it go on forever. So yeah, it sucks that this is happening, but it allows Misaki to see what Katsuo is like and what his next step will be when the two meet again.**

**I finally wrote with lots of Nowaki. I love that I got so many reviews so quickly. Hope you all like it. Review some more. Thank you!**


	13. Chapter 13: Nowaki's Resolve

**Hello, I'm back. It's lucky number 13. Can't thank readers enough for the reviews. People are now upset at Katsuo and Misaki like before, but… Eh, I don't want to spoil it for anyone, so just enjoy. :) Yay for more Nowaki! **

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 13: Nowaki's Resolve**

* * *

_Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise_

_-William Shakespeare_

* * *

Usami peeked into Misaki's room for the fifth time that night while the brunette researched sources for his ten thousand word essay on his lap top. He had been up for three hours scribbling down sources and taking notes. Usami had his own work to occupy his time, but without any inspiration he found the drive to write quite low. Usually spending time with Misaki brought him tons of inspiration, especially for the BL novels.

As glad the author was that Misaki would not be kicked out of school, it still didn't explain Misaki's odd behavior. He confessed and took full responsibility and had apparently blanched at having to do so much work, but there were things still off. Misaki didn't appear guilty. He seemed take the punishment like a chore rather than a lesson to learn from.

Usami knew his lover like the back of his hand and that boy felt bad about the tiniest things, sometimes for things he thought he 'might have' done wrong. If he crushed a blooming flower under his foot the brunette's face would grow upset. If Misaki really did something wrong shouldn't he look a little guilty about it? And what was with that blank expression? Was he hiding something from him?

The author stood in the door way watching the brunette. Misaki, if he was aware of the older man's presence Misaki gave him no attention or acknowledgement. The guarded eyes were not Misaki-like traits. The brunette was definitely hiding something and the author vowed to find out. For now, he best leave Misaki to his demanding work.

Things did not get any easier with time.

Misaki had all but abandoned the world to complete Hiroki's work barely having time to eat, sleep, or spend time with him. Usami could relate as he abandoned the world when he found his mind swept up in a blazing moment of inspiration while he typed up his novel, but that usually lasted a few days. Misaki had been preoccupied for weeks.

It really cut into his sex life too.

Sure, the author occasionally found an opportunity to sneak into Misaki's room, where he spent most of his time, on the weekends where the two let loose for an hour, but it wasn't the same. Misaki was always tired and many of Usami's advances were either given in to without protest or rejected with one look of Misaki's exhausted face. Usami missed the way things use to be.

He longed to see the fire return to Misaki's eyes. He wanted Misaki to blush and moan during sex rather than lie still and try not to fall asleep. He wanted Misaki to have a good night sleep and eat breakfast with him. Most of all he wanted Misaki to share the weight of what was so heavily placed on his shoulders. Even if he was forbidden from helping Misaki by physically writing for him, Misaki could at least talk about how he was feeling.

Now that was a familiar Misaki trait. The brunette hated to burden anyone with his problems, but hadn't the author already establish the foolishness of that decision? It only made him worry more when his lover closed up like a clam. And this time the young man seemed dead set on preventing the author from finding out what ailed him so.

Usami sat at the table tolerating breakfast alone…again.

This was the sixth weekend Usami spent without Misaki in the morning. Despite his growing frustration over the situation he tried to keep his emotions at bay to save his lover from any additional guilt he might have felt leaving the older man to fend for himself. So far the author managed to ruin two microwaves and set three fires. Fortunately he was better at using a fire extinguisher than using the kitchen. If it weren't for the stacks of leftovers in the fridge the man would have been a goner.

Misaki awoke early, dark circles under his eyes, stumbled around like a zombie for a second before Usami gently nudged the younger man back into bed. The brunette had actually woken up an hour early. He was expected at the hospital by six and he almost hoped in the shower at three in the morning. Usami had held the brunette giving him a couple more hours of sleep before Misaki's internal alarm went off.

The author joined Misaki in the shower, unable to do much but hold the college student steady and prevent him from falling asleep under the water for the second time this week. With Misaki so tired he didn't even have the energy to blush or fight back when his lover dried him off or moved in for a morning kiss.

"I'm not crippled," Misaki joked eyes half open.

"I'm afraid you'll collapse."

"At the hospital? Yeah, that's the worst place to collapse," Misaki said sarcastically. "Just think…I get to sleep all day after eleven."

Usami frowned but didn't want to upset his lover, so he started a friendly conversation. "Do you like volunteering?" That was a stupid question; Misaki was being forced to volunteer.

"Actually I do." Usami was surprised by the answer. "I read to the sick children or keep the older patients company. They're all nice, but Volunteer might just be another word for entertainment."

Once Misaki was dressed Usami handed him a bowl and equipment for cereal. He served himself a cup of coffee and almost choked on the warm liquid when Misaki took his cup and downed the rest of the contents in a flash. The brunette visibly shuddered at the strong taste and handed back the now empty mug.

Five minutes later the two were in the parking garage and in the sleek red sports car. Misaki had knocked out the minute he clicked on his seat belt. Usami almost considered driving anywhere but the hospital, but decided against it in the end.

And here he was at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette, breakfast long forgotten.

Every morning he had time to think. One of his most common thoughts was of Misaki, but another went to the incident and Katsuo.

Usami was sure the blond had something to do with it.

A suspicious thing he noticed was how Katsuo no longer came around or called Misaki. There was no way that brat would stop visiting Misaki without a fight. So why didn't he come around anymore. He put up quite a fight to hang out with the brunette, so why stop now? What changed? Usami had already questioned the brunette who responded with a reasonable enough answer.

_His grandfather is sick, so he's been visiting him._

It might have been a lie; it might have been the truth… Still, that dirty blond had some part in this whole predicament, Usami bet his writing hand on it. The excuse that Katsuo had not been with Misaki that fateful day was definitely a load of baloney, but Hiroki claimed Misaki was the only one there at the time.

Usami inhaled a lungful of toxic air exhaling through his nose. If only he could get more out of Misaki or hunt down the delinquent. Perhaps Hiroki could aid in solving this mystery. He may not be in the most affectionate moods, but as serious as the argument had been, they'd survived much worse.

The man quickly slipped his arms in a coat and left the apartment in search of answers.

* * *

"Misaki-chan, give me a piggy back ride!"

"No, read us another story!"

"Let's play a game first!"

"Please sing a song for us!"

"Misaki-chan!"

"Misaki-chan!"

"Misaki-chan!"

Nowaki couldn't keep the smile off his face while he watched the children in their hospital gowns tackle Misaki in a hug and demand multiple requests at one time. Usually the kids favored him when he had a spare minute from his rounds, but during these past few weekends they grew to love Misaki. They buzzed with life every Saturday and Sunday morning and cried when the brunette had to go home five hours later.

Nowaki had to give Misaki some credit for putting his all in keeping the patients company and entertaining the sick and terminal children. The pediatrician understood better than anyone how infectious the children's laughter was.

Still, Misaki's appearance had grown worse as Nowaki took in the dark circles forming under his eyes and the weak muscle movement and fatigue from a lack of sleep. He'd have to talk to Hiro-san to let up on the work pile or Misaki could end up passing out.

"Who's the cutie?" Nowaki peered over his shoulder seeing Tsumori-senpai appear from seemingly nowhere.

"Misaki Takahashi."

"He's young," Tsumori commented eyes skimming over the brunette's body approvingly. Nowaki's instincts kicked in not liking the way Tsumori stared at the brunette.

"He's unavailable," Nowaki blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Oh, relax," Tsumori said. "I'm not going eat the boy alive." Nowaki calmed releasing the tension from his body.

"But if he is really taken he can tell me himself."

Tsumori attempted to move forward Nowaki's arm shot out to stop his senpai from moving any further.

"Nowaki, don't you already have a lover?" Tsumori teased.

"Yes," Nowaki answered uneasily, "but I don't think it's wise to…"

"I'm just going to talk to him," Tsumori persisted innocently. Nowaki release his arm and stood back awkwardly. Tsumori made his way over to the children who greeted him happily. The pediatrician stood idly by worried for Misaki. He watched the blond man saunter over and stayed put. Misaki wasn't a child and could defend himself, but as Tsumori got closer Nowaki wished he had convinced his senpai to leave the brunette alone.

Nowaki didn't know what it was but over time as he saw Misaki in the hospital and spoke to him an incredible doubt grew every day. And while doubt grew it made getting to know the brunette easier and increased his instinct to look out for him.

"Hello, kiddies," Tsumori greeted reaching the group of children and Misaki. "Who's your new friend?"

"It's Misaki-chan," one answered. "He's really nice."

"That nice, huh? Well hello, Misaki-san," Tsumori greeted introducing himself and taking Misaki's hand a bit too intimately. Misaki detected the extra bit of intensity the handsome doctor put in his words and action, but smiled politely and bowed.

"Have you been volunteering here long?" he asked as the children began to surround the man. He inched closer placing a hand on the students shoulder and winking. "I can give you a tour around the hospital and we can visit my private office." Nowaki blanched at the more than subtle hint his senpai dropped.

"Ah, thank you…I already know where everything is." Luckily, Misaki happened to be very dense not catching on to Tsumori's advances and smiling politely.

"Alright, but how about I buy you lunch. You look a bit tired too. Nowaki can take over here." Tsumori leaned over to take Misaki's hand and lead the naïve volunteer away from the children. Nowaki was about to step in and object when many other small voices did the job for him.

"No, Tsumori-sensei is trying to take Misaki-chan away!" one screamed.

"Get Tsumori-sensei!" Tsumori was then tackled by an army of small children bringing the tall doctor to the plush carpet.

"Ah! Nowaki help!" While the children dog piled the squirming man on the ground both Nowaki and Misaki broke into a fit of laughter.

A dejected Tsumori now covered in tiny bruises followed Nowaki out of the children's ward to get lunch. He grumbled a curse about the kids keeping the fresh meat all to them while Nowaki could only chide the man for his inappropriate behavior.

Nowaki dropped by three hours later after finishing his shift. He chuckled at the scene displayed before him. On the carpet all the kids were sleeping comfortably atop of Misaki's lax body. The funniest part was Misaki because he was sleeping as well. The nurses on the side were giggling and staring at the display endearingly. The pediatrician smiled, but took pity on the exhausted volunteer deciding to spare him from another hour without rest.

"Misaki," Nowaki called gently shaking the sleeping brunette.

"Huh?" Misaki uttered slightly disoriented. His eyes widened as he noticed the sleeping children atop of him.

Misaki smiled fondly. With assistance of the nurses they were able to tuck the tired children in their beds.

"Why don't you go home now?"

"What? But I have another hour left before I can leave," Misaki objected.

"I'm letting you off," Nowaki said. "If you don't mind I'd rather have you accompany me to my apartment. I don't think you should be walking home in such a state."

"Oh, okay, but it's no problem for me, Kusama-sensei. I can take the train."

"I know, but just so you don't fall asleep and miss your stop please wait at the apartment for Usami-san to pick you up. I'd also like you there so I can talk to Hiro-san regarding your, ah, punishment."

"Alright."

The two walked out into the bright sunlight. Misaki shifted uncomfortably at first at being in Nowaki's presence but his kind smile put him at ease. After the incident Misaki had often expected the man to hate him, but he never shot him dirty looks or called him names. Nowaki-sensei was a really nice man.

They strolled past a hot dog vendor and much to Misaki's chagrin Nowaki paid for two hot dogs handing one over to Misaki. The brunette thanked the man appreciatively

"If you don't mind me asking, is there anything you need to add to my punishment?" Misaki asked nervously walking by the man's side. He had changed out of his doctor's getup and now sported a calming blue shirt matching his eyes.

"It's not a question of adding additional work or shortening it," Nowaki replied. "I'm going to try and persuade Hiro-san to drop the punishment all together. And please call me Nowaki."

"Wh-What?! I'm sorry, but you don't have to do that Kusa- er Nowaki-sensei," Misaki choked out in shock.

"I want to."

"But…why?"

"Because I don't think you did anything wrong."

* * *

**Doubt is growing people and it's only a matter of time before Katsuo makes his appearance again. Things are about to go down soon. Oh I can't wait. I've been itching to write the really dramatic scenes, but I have to get through these ones and build up the suspense. The turn that is going to take place next will be crazy. My next chapter will have a cliff hanger, but to prevent any death threats I'll upload two chapters. Woo for summer break! **

**Review please and thank you for previous ones. Try and guess what will happen next, hmmm. :) Thank you! Sorry for pissing people off with Misaki's behavior, but he shall redeem himself soon. **


	14. Chapter 14: Understanding

**Two chapters… I promised y'all two chapters. Never going to do that again. Well, hope everyone likes this chapter, and the next one.**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 14: Understanding  
**

* * *

_Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides_

_-Andre Malraux_

* * *

Usami sat across the table from Hiroki. A cup of tea had been brewed but neither touched their drink leaving the tea to cool, no longer warm.

The author still wore his coat as if he were going to stand up and exit abruptly at any moment. The professor would rather not say anything until Usami did. After all, the man came to _his_ home and that meant he had something he wanted to say. Hiroki eyed the man anxiously, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Neither had spoken a single word since the author's arrival. Hiroki had simply let the man in and made tea.

Usami crinkled his eyebrows and released a deep sigh.

"I would like to apologize for my inappropriate behavior on the phone six weeks ago," Usami began giving in and bringing the now cold tea to his lips. Hiroki nodded in understanding reaching out for his own tea in submission.

"I want to apologize about that as well," he grumbled softly face lightly reddening from giving in so easily, but hey, it was Akihiko.

"I'm sorry," they both said. The apology did little to clear the tension.

"I can understand why you were so upset," Usami continued. "Maybe even more so do to the fact that I was defending Misaki rather than you, a person I've known practically my entire life."

Hiroki muttered under his breath about the tea being too cold and stood taking his cup and dumped the chilly liquid down the drain. Usami handed his cup to Hiroki and it too underwent the same fate. The professor stood with his back to the author glaring into the sink as the light green substance flowed down the drain.

"But," Usami proclaimed dramatically, "I know you understand where I am coming from when I say that I will never apologize for defending Misaki." Usami's words lingered in the air filling the emptiness. The author could feel small beads of sweat forming at the back of his neck, but he gave no indication of his frazzled nerves.

"Every horrible word, I truly regret it," he said voice rising in pitch becoming more emotional, "but I'd say them all over again if it meant Misaki's reputation was in jeopardy. Now, at this very moment, I still refuse to believe Misaki was responsible. If I have to sacrifice my friendship with you, Hiroki, for believing in Misaki, I would. I'd do it in a heartbeat."

The Literature professor, who had been quiet the entire time, snorted. He spun around; very amused with a tinge of hurt hiding in the outskirts of his eyes, but otherwise his wry grin unnerved the author.

"And I hope you take no offense when I say that I still think he did it. Nowaki didn't see him, I did. I caught him and he confessed," Hiroki pointed out coldly. "I am quite aware of your support for him. Now why don't you get to the real reason you're here and stop wasting my time."

The author had to bite back a comeback swallowing it instead. He cleared his throat and crossed his legs.

"I believe it would be in Misaki's best interest if you released him from his punishment."

"That's it, fine, whatever." And just like that, the tension in the room was gone. "I was going to do that anyway."

Usami's eyes widened in surprise and he found himself glued to his spot slack jawed. Was Hiroki joking with him? He knew the man had a reputation for stubbornness, but he gave in so easily this time after making such an argument. _What changed your mind about him? More accurate of a question, how did Misaki make the Demon Kamijou change his mind?_

"What changed your mind about him?"Usami had to hide a smirk from his face when he voiced his own thoughts. Hiroki's cheeks colored and the man quickly wiped them like he had something physically smeared on his face.

"That damn paper…" Usami nodded, understanding one hundred percent. He leaned back getting more comfortable. Hiroki was already going to release Misaki from his punishment. Misaki had convinced him in his own way.

"Hey!" Hiroki scolded. "I refuse to allow you to get comfortable in my home. Get out!" But Usami no longer heard as he could actually feel the two shift back into their original places. Hiroki's words and threats were no longer laced with real anger at him anymore. The two knew each other so well, and for now everything was forgiven. The unspoken truce flag had been waved and their lives could go back to normal.

_No…he'll always remember. This uncertainty will always stay with him. In the end, someone did say those horrible things._

"Thank you," Usami said. Relief that flooded his body and the weight and worry were off his shoulders.

"Sure, sure," Hiroki sighed staring at the ground in defeat. "If it weren't for that goddamn paper… I get so pissed thinking about it!" Hiroki began to pace. Usami watched, knowing the man would feel that way for weeks and probably regretting his decision and then taking it back and go along with it. Poor, Misaki, the man was going to take out his fury on the college student every time he saw him.

He bit off a chuckle lest Hiroki reach for any of the dangerous weapons in the kitchen and toss them. His own evasion skills had improved over the years, but so did the professors aim. Usami couldn't understand how Hiroki's lover lived with him after all the domestic disputes the fuming man would likely cause.

"I still can't believe it," Usami said unable to help himself. A cheeky grin was plastered to his face and he warily noticed the quick twitch of the brunette's fingers and left eyebrow. The author was pushing it and he knew it.

"I voluntarily came here with a battle plan and theories in preparation for a war." Usami barely ducked in time when a frying pan soared over his head disturbing some hair. The object struck the wall behind his chair. The professor's aim really had improved.

"Anything else to say," Hiroki warned a knife in his hand and ready for disposal right in between Usami's eyes. The author smiled, making the wise choice to not tease his friend anymore or he might actually hit him. Hiroki didn't joke around when he was angry.

Still, there really was something he had to tell the man.

"I do have a suspicion I wish to share with you," Usami explained. Hiroki waited tapping his foot impatiently, arms crossed over his chest.

"I know who did it." Hiroki opened his mouth ready to say something but Usami beat him to it. "Yes, yes, you didn't see anyone there with Misaki, but let me finish." The professor leaned back against the kitchen counter eyes on Usami.

The author swallowed and began. "Misaki has been acting different when it comes to that day. When he showed up he was pale and looked like his whole world was over. He admitted to what he did and yelled at me when I denied it."

The professor listened intently eyes sliding shut.

"My Misaki wears a guarded expression. Something he's never done before," Usami continued staring at the wall. "It means he's hiding something from me, Hiroki. I won't push him if he is adamant on keeping quiet, but I expected him to tell me…eventually. Now, it's been weeks and he shows no sign of opening up. Along with that the punishment you gave has cut into the time I spend with him."

His lavender orbs revealed a sadness Hiroki rarely saw. Usami continued suddenly, eyes taking on a fiery gleam, his jaw clenching tightly.

"Hiroki, you wouldn't happen to know about a certain delinquent by the name of Katsuo Watanabe?"

"The blond little brat," Hiroki spat bitterly already burning up at the thought of Katsuo. "Oh, I know who he is alright."

"I'm one hundred percent sure he is the one responsible."

"Ha," Hiroki scoffed. "What makes you so sure, Akihiko? Believe me, I would love nothing more than to expel Watanabe-kun, but you have no proof of him being there."

"He definitely was!" Usami objected. "The leech has does nothing but stick to Misaki and drags him to parties to get him drunk and who knows what! The blond is a manipulative monster who takes advantage of an innocent and caring person like Misaki." The author had stood to his feet, starting to pace.

"That kid disappeared as soon as this big problem arouse. If there was anyone that could convince Misaki to take the fall it was him! He's crafty; he knows how to give a sob story and I absolutely hate him." Usami uttered his last sentence with a growl becoming worked up by the mere thought of Watanabe-kun.

The professor observing Usami's rant smiled a bit, glad another shared his hate for the monster. The theory made sense, he had to give Akihiko that, but there was no proof. It was like pointing a finger at the suspect that seemed most liable to commit the crime while the one confessing had the knife right in his hand. _But it doesn't always mean he did it._

_No, of course it does. Once you admit it that's the truth of the matter._

_Would you have admitting to murder to protect Akihiko or Nowaki? _

The question caught Hiroki off guard and he found Akihiko's explanations plausible. If he simply went off his gut feeling away from any logical part of his mind, he could very easily believe Akihiko. Unfortunately no evidence equaled no support from this side of the fence.

The man approached Usami placing a hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing. Usami brought all attention to Hiroki, lavender eyes waiting for support from a friend.

"Let's say Watanabe-kun did do it," Hiroki hypothesized. He stepped back to lean on the counter again. "He was with Misaki and threw the rock and called Nowaki and me faggots while Takahashi-kun happened to be an innocent bystander who happened to take the blame for a manipulative friend while he ran away from the scene. Let's say it's true."

Hiroki continued. "Now, where is your evidence? I can't go to the school blame him because of a gut feeling. They're going to base the truth on what I witnessed, and if I tell them what I saw then Takahashi-kun will definitely be in hot water." Usami's face hardened as he took each sentence like a physical blow.

"And from what I've gathered about Takahashi-kun, he's taking full blame for it, so that pretty much make you sound like an irrational man ready to point fingers at anyone other than your lover. No offense."

"None taken," the author simmered.

"So, the best I can do is release Takahashi-kun from his punishment because of that…damn paper. You have not a shred of proof that Watanabe-kun did it." Hiroki felt bad for causing the defeated look in Usami's eyes, but the man didn't stay down long.

"I'm not giving up."

"I never expected you to, idiot." They both grinned at one another at least having somewhat returned to their normal relationship.

* * *

Nowaki opened the door to a surprisingly sweet scene. Hiroki and Akihiko arguing, but not like they had a few weeks ago. They were bantering on about an author Nowaki did not recognize. From the corner of his eye Misaki appeared at ease seeing the two in a recognizable routine.

Hiroki caught his attention reminding him of his task and silently praying the man would not grow upset for defending Misaki or make friendly atmosphere uncomfortable. He motioned Misaki inside shutting the door so it shut loud enough to grab the two men's attention in the kitchen.

"Tadaima!" Nowaki greeted happily floating over to the spot Hiroki stood and bringing him into his warm embrace.

"I missed you, Hiro-san," he whispered huskily into the older man's ear low enough so only the brunette could hear. Hiroki caught the extra message Nowaki was sending fighting back a blush but unaware of how red his ears grew.

"O-Okaeri," the professor barely got out before shoving the man off him as he spotted Misaki standing in front of the entrance door staring at anything but his teacher and the affectionate doctor wearing a goofy smile. He'd rather jump into a deep well then have one of his students catch him in Nowaki's arms with such a soft expression. He was a man with his pride and if Akihiko kept smirking like that he was going to reach for the knives.

Fortunately Misaki's presence gave Akihiko a distraction as he had the college student in his own embrace a second later. It was strange to see Usami holding onto the boy that way and Misaki was obviously embarrassed. He quickly squirmed from the author's hold keeping a hand on his chest to distance the two.

"Don't you have another hour at the hospital?" Hiroki asked from a lack of anything better to say. He ignored the author's heated glare.

"Ah, I…Nowaki-sensei-"

"Said he could finish early," Nowaki finished. "Also I thought it was time I discuss the punishment Misaki is being given. I want to-"

"I've already decided to release him from the punishments," Hiroki informed casually. He met Misaki's stunned face. "Hear that, you're free to go, Takahashi-kun." Nowaki appeared pleased and surprised and proud.

"Hiro-san!"

"Ack, let go of me!"

Misaki bit his bottom lip to prevent any laughter from sneaking out. The display between Nowaki-sensei and his teacher was adorable. He originally thought there was no man that had the ability to deal with the Demon Kamijou, but up close Misaki realized he really didn't know Kamijou-sensei personally enough to make that judgment and felt foolish for believing it in the first place.

He may be mean from his spot in the class, but right here seeing the man try to hide his embarrassment and happiness from being with Nowaki-sensei. The brunette dodged Kamijou-sensei's glare but felt when it was sent straight into his soul.

_Don't you dare tell a soul about this._

He wouldn't.

"Wait, before we move on," Usami said taking Misaki by the arm and pulling him forward. Misaki sent a dirty look towards the author, unhappy about being man handled.

"Misaki, answer me this question now in front of Hiroki and his lover," Usami said. The intenseness of his gaze left the brunette with an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Did you take the blame for Watanabe-kun?"

Nowaki and Hiroki had grown quiet but Usami kept a steady gaze on his lover. Misaki stared at Usami, letting that guarded look wash over his timid features.

"Usagi-san," Misaki started, attempting to persuade the author to let the subject drop.

"Answer the question for me, Misaki," Usami sighed, the lavender pleading. Misaki's lips settled into a firm line and his face rigid. "Please."

From his peripheral vision Nowaki-sensei and Kamijou-sensei were standing in their places awkwardly, but still listening intently.

_Why can't I tell the truth?_

_No, I have to remember the promise I made to myself last week._

_Kamijou-sensei will have no choice but to believe you did it._

_Then I'll live with it forever._

_I've already made my decision. This is the last favor I ever do for Katsuo-san. _

"No."

Usami and Misaki left the apartment soon after with the author waking slowly behind the college student. Nowaki and Hiroki were eating a quick dinner and Hiroki's mind racing.

_He was lying._

_First he messes everything up and tears down every good thought I ever had about him when I saw that rock in his shaking palm. Then he takes his punishment and writes the best paper he's ever turned into me on the wrongdoings of prejudices. Why did it have to be such a good paper? Couldn't he have half-assed it or plagiarized the majority of the words. I spent hours searching for a paper that could have possibly been copied from and I find none. None!_

_And now that look he got on his face when Akihiko asked about him defending Watanabe-kun… The face that looks like a lie. But, he was admitting to something so why would he make that face? It should have been more guilty or filled with some emotion, right? Right? Ugh! I'm going crazy all because of damn brats!_

"Hiro-san?"

"Huh- What?"

"Are you okay? The food isn't bad?"

"No, it's fine. Why?"

"Because you've been glaring at it for the past minute."

"Oh, well, I- Forget the food. Nowaki…I'm cold."

"Would you like a blanket, Hiro-san?"

"No you moron!"

* * *

"Where do you think you're going?" Misaki nibbled on his bottom lip guiltily, an alluring action in Usami's opinion.

"I need to do something," Misaki explained. He continued before his love could object or interrogate him. "This is very important to me. I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I need you to trust me and let me go."

A tired sigh escaped Usami's lips and he shut his eyes. "Then I suppose you will have no choice but to make it up to me tonight,"

"Okay," Misaki said, face already coloring, and unbuckling his seat belt.

"Where will you be?" Usami asked.

"When I come back I'll tell you."

"Don't leave me too long," Usami said. "I'm lonesome without Misaki."

"I know."

Five minutes later Misaki was walking down a street near the apartment condo he lived. From where he was standing he could actually see the top of the apartment building. He would be back with Usagi-san soon enough, this wasn't going to take long.

The brunette exhaled deeply. He tugged his cell phone from a coat pocket and dialed the memorized number. The first call was ignored, but the number called back seconds later.

"_Misaki! Is everything all clear because I could really use a friend right about now."_

"I need to talk to you," Misaki said. "Can we meet at the…Lonely Loon's Bar? I'm standing right in front."

"_Yes! I'll be right there in like twenty minutes. Traffic's a bitch. Move it Honda!"_

"Yeah," Misaki agreed softly hearing the distinct horn of Katsuo's car on the other end. "I'll be waiting."

* * *

**Finally! I finally finished this chapter. This is the one I had trouble finishing, but now I can start the one I really wanted to start. This for some reason turned out to be the longest one, and I never predicted that would happen. I just got lost in it and then suddenly noticed that I've used up to nine pages typing it. I guess that's a good thing. Review and prepare for CHAPTER 15!**


	15. Chapter 15: The End

**Don't worry; this is not the final chapter. There is much more to come. Read and review please.  
**

**Warning: Language, Adult Content**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 15: The End**

* * *

_The truth sucks  
The truth hurts  
The truth ruins  
The truth unveils  
The truth hates  
The truth disconnects  
The truth destroys  
The truth scars  
The truth lies  
it lies about the truth_

_-Truth by Phil Panebianco_

* * *

The air chilled Misaki deep to the core of his bones. He changed location to inside the bar sitting on a stool trying to warm his body, but the chill lingered. Outside it was still daylight, by now noon.

Misaki kept an eye on the entrance glancing back and forth between the door and his shaking hands. The bartender approached him after a few minutes.

"Are you going to order anything?" he asked.

"Oh, no, sorry," Misaki apologized. "I'm waiting for someone." The bartender left to serve paying customers and then returned placing a cup in front of him.

"Relax, its water."

"Thank you." The brunette let the cool liquid slide down his dry throat.

"I put some courage in the water," the bartender said with a wink. The man then turned to another customer leaving Misaki alone.

_He's right_, Misaki thought. _I need to be brave and do this. _

With renewed mental strength Misaki sat straighter in the bar stool. It was now or never.

"Misaki!" a voice called cheerfully from the right. Entering the bar, with renewed blond hair again, Katsuo strutted in. Though there was something off about him. As he got closer Misaki could see the puffiness of his eyes, like he'd been crying. _He lost weight, _Misaki noted.

The brunette found himself in Katsuo's awkward man hug taking in the smell of alcohol on his breath. He was already drinking.

"I missed you," Katsuo gushed. "Want me to buy a drink for us? We're going to party tonight!"

"First we need to talk," Misaki insisted. "No drinking tonight for me." Katsuo arched an eyebrow and shrugged attempting to order a drink anyway.

"If y-you wouldn't mind," Misaki said, "let's stay sober."

"Jeez, what's with the weird behavior? Quit acting like a loser and relax."

"No," Misaki stressed grabbing Katsuo's attention. Misaki usually went along with the blond, but his off behavior was irking Katsuo. "Do this one thing for me, Katsuo-kun."

The blond frowned, but didn't argue. Misaki actually seemed, serious. "Fine, let's…talk."

"Err…" To be honest Misaki didn't think he'd be able to convince the blond so easily and he was a bit anxious to say anything so he took a weak moment and started a conversation first.

"What did you do these past few weeks?" _Great, that sure is brave._

"With my grandfather," Katsuo said casually. "He died yesterday."

"W-What?"

"Did you not hear me? He. Is. Dead. You know, kicked the bucket," Katsuo snapped. "God, I could really use a drink right now." It was the first time Misaki caught the unbearable sadness in Katsuo's eyes while he averted the brunette's concerned gaze.

"The funeral is in a few days and if you hadn't called me today, I would have anyway." Misaki didn't stop him from ordering a drink this time. The blond downed the first drink, his face stoic and expression far away and melancholy.

"The first time in months my family visits and he's sick," Katsuo said. "Then the doctors say he's going to die soon. The old man didn't want to tell us…"

The blond ordered another drink drinking it as fast as the first. "He…was the best."

"He was an inventor, and he supported my family when my father blew off all of our savings," Katsuo explained sadly eyes downcast. "The old man was the funniest thing alive. He probably left all his money to us too, but what will that do but give me a chance to spend more and drink more and party more. What's the point?!" Katsuo hid his face but his voice was cracking.

"My father was an awful man, Misaki. He left us when we were down on our luck and returned once we were stable to give my mother more children to feed then leave again. My mother's curse was she could never turn him away… My grandfather hated him."

The blond grew still and silent. His voice was steady, but Misaki could still see the tear streaks running down his cheeks.

"Life just hates me," Katsuo choked out. "I have a bunch of friends that use me for money and their own personal gain, my father is a drunk who abandons his family, and the only man I ever admired is dead. Why does this happen?"

Misaki had remained quiet while Katsuo unlocked the depths of his heart to share with the man next to him. He slumped down in his stool and Misaki was painfully reminded of his parents own death. Losing someone close to his heart left an ugly scar and no doubt Katsuo was hurting. With a steady hand Misaki pulled Katsuo close letting him lean against him.

"This is so gay," Katsuo muttered, but he didn't pull away. His comment only reminded Misaki of what he had to do today making this all the worse to do.

"You're my only friend, Misaki," Katsuo said. And then he cried into his coat.

Misaki ended up calling Usagi-san telling he unfortunately would not be back anytime soon. The man was upset, but he didn't demand Misaki come home like predicted. It made Misaki feel all the more guilty.

Instead he stayed with Katsuo. He didn't want the blond to drown his sorrows in alcohol all day, so he led him wordlessly to an ice cream parlor where the man consumed three pistachio ice creams whilst crying. The man behind the counter eyed the pair oddly, but gave no comment.

Then he dragged Katsuo to the movies. Katsuo handed over too much money so Misaki had to take the college student's wallet and put the change inside. They watched a comedy in an empty theater. It did little to cheer Katsuo up only coaxing a chuckle from his lips as he sat in the theater limply. They watched another two movies, both horror, which squeezed screams from Misaki instead of Katsuo who laughed more during the horror films than the comedy. He was laughing at Misaki though, so at least Misaki succeeded in making the blond feel better.

Unfortunately, in the back of his mind the little voice that had been quelled for the majority of the day continued to bug. It wouldn't be ignored.

"I don't think I've ever been so sober on a Saturday night," Katsuo commented while he followed Misaki to a nearby park. They had walked through the mall until they took a right turn out of the crowded center into the isolated park.

The two sat quietly on a bench. Katsuo fondly recalled Misaki had bought him an ice cream here. It seemed just like yesterday.

"Katsuo-kun, I don't want to hang out with you anymore." The sentence caught Katsuo completely off guard. His neck twisted in his companion's direction being met with the brunette's serious expression. The blond was sent into a panic, but he refused to believe the cruel joke.

"Wh-What?" he demanded angrily standing up. "Why would you say something like that? It's not funny, Misaki."

"I'm not laughing," Misaki said quietly. "The death of your grandfather, I'm truly sorry about that, but I can't keep this in anymore. If I let our friendship continue…you'll never learn."

"Learn what? Misaki, quit talking crazy and lets go somewhere else," Katsuo offered tugging on Misaki's coat. The brunette took Katsuo's wrist pulling it off his coat and letting it go so it dangled limply on Katsuo's side.

"When you do something wrong like cheat on tests or pick on students or call people faggots there's never a consequence," Misaki revealed truthfully. "No one will stop it and if I don't do it now you'll continue like this forever until something bad happens, Katsuo-kun."

"I don't understand," Katsuo said. The blonds' lip twitched with dilemma, trouble getting anything out of his mouth. He wanted to vomit. "What did I do wrong?"

"I let you step all over me that day and took a punishment reserved for you," Misaki said softly eyes hidden by the locks of brown hanging over them. "I was almost expelled from school and it…it almost destroyed me. To work so hard and suddenly have it almost taken away in an instant, I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

The wind swept past the two sending a wave of shivers throughout the blonds' slim body as he wore less protective clothing to shield him from the cold.

"I kept your secret and there were moments I almost gave in and told the truth," Misaki admitted as his voice grew in pitch. "I kept inside because I worried about my friend being expelled too, but as time passed I realized it did no one any good."

"It hurt the people around me to think I was this…monster." Katsuo flinched at the insult. "Even now they'll always think I was responsible, and I can live with that. The only thing I cannot let go is for you to live carefree believing that you can get away with everything."

"In the end I decided that I'm not a scapegoat for you to step all over and this is the last favor I ever do for you."

Katsuo's mouth grew dry.

"Even now, you haven't apologized." Misaki pointed out sadly. "These things don't disappear into thin air. They come back to haunt you…"

His hands were shaking.

"You only have yourself to blame."

It was getting harder to breath.

"I'm done with you," Misaki breathed eyes full of finality as the wind cleared his hair to reveal the green orbs to the blond. Katsuo's breath caught in his throat as the full meaning of those four words hit him like a blow to the face. The control on his psyche was slipping, being destroyed with every step Misaki took away from him.

_No, please don't turn your back on me._

He outstretched a hand taking jerky steps after the brunette but he was walking so fast. Tears stung in the corner of his eyes and his lips quivered. He wiped them away, not wanting to lose it. He needed to make him turn around, he needed the brunette he cared about too much to stay with him. Without him, he would have no one.

"M-Misaki," he begged. _Am I reduced to begging now? What has become of me? _He didn't turn around. "Please!" The word tore through him and he couldn't stop that lone tear from falling. It was desperate enough to keep Misaki from moving any further, but not enough to turn him around.

"I hate faggots," he admitted. "I can't stand to see them and I just can't- I can't handle it. I did use you that day because…it was convenient and I didn't want to get caught. You were easy to convince too, because you actually cared. I-I'm so sorry." The blond blubbered the end of his confession wiping away weak tears and glad Misaki couldn't see his pathetic face.

"I'm sorry now, I don't want you to abandon me," he whispered having thrown away any pride left. "I can learn my lesson…just don't leave me."

"I can't do that, Katsuo," Misaki said facing frontward. Katsuo realized Misaki had called him Katsuo instead of Katsuo-kun whilst sober. "I'm sorry."

His departing footsteps faded away and Katsuo felt sick, watching him leave, so very sick. He needed another drink because he just lost his grandfather and best friend in the same night. The world really hated him. He lost the only person that gave a shit about him, and he never felt so alone in the dark park.

There had to be a way to fix this.

* * *

Usami was pacing again. His attention shifted from the cell in his hand he was currently fiddling with and the door. Waiting for the doorknob to shake or the sounds of footsteps was torture. The man knew his lover had gone out to see Watanabe, but the falling sun and growing moon increased his worry.

The only solace he felt was when the much expected brunette entered with unearthly speed forgetting to close the door right and surprisingly dove into Usami's arms.

Misaki wrapped his arms around the tall man pressing his face into his chest to hide his face. The rise and fall of the author's chest was comforting and Misaki gladly listened to the man's beating heart. He'd missed this. He'd missed his Usagi-san. The thought stretched a small smile across his face thinking how hypocritical it would be to call Usagi-san his after all the fuse he created when vocalized that thought about him, but it wasn't like he could read his mind anyway.

"Did things go well with Watanabe-kun?" Misaki slumped against the man as the waves of sad flowed through him. His breathing was shallow and tired. The encounter with Katsuo had left him emotionally drained trying to keep from giving in and forgiving everything the blond did, but that would have not solved anything.

"Usagi-san, you don't have to worry about Katsuo-kun again," he said. The man beside him stilled but Misaki knew he was pleased. He disliked Katsuo anyway. But…it still stung to have abandoned him right when his grandfather passed away so soon.

Misaki sighed lazily letting his hands shyly roam down his lover's back trying to forget the . The brunette could practically see the excited grin on Usagi-san's face as he tugged the red-faced man onto the couch with him.

The soft couch below him cushioned his fall as Usami lowered the brunette gently letting his lips follow him on the way down. His lips lingered over Misaki's own then lightly traveled down to his neck. Usami was right above Misaki's lax body and the brunette found his head grow light when the author bit down on his collar bone making him whine softly.

A minute later his shirt and coat were gone along with his pants. Then his boxers disappeared. The author's hungry hands explored the brunette's pale body while his mouth was at Misaki's ear. Misaki squeezed his eyes shut when the man left a wet trail to his ear.

Misaki placed a hand on the author's chest, panting and covered in a light sheen of swear, but determined to get his lover out of his clothes rather than lay there exposed. The gentle smile his lover gave him encouraged him to reach out and unbutton the man's shirt, hands slightly shaking. Once the man's shirt was shed Misaki blushed harder from seeing his lover's naked chest.

Their mouths reunited in a searing kiss and Misaki let his fingers tangle in Usami's hair. He squeaked when he felt his body being lifted up, the older man's strong arms lifting him up from the couch. He pressed them impossibly close until Misaki believed they were one person and that the erratic beating of their hearts matched tempo.

The brunette found himself on his knees with Usami, also on his knees, behind him. With deliberate slowness Usami let a hand descend between Misaki's legs coaxing moans from his throat every few seconds until he had Misaki literally begging for him to get on with it.

Stars erupted behind the brunette's eyes when they became one and he eagerly rocked against the older man's rhythmic movements. Each slow thrust sent a burst of pleasure accompanied by the dull throb of pain which began to fade away quickly soon after.

Usami placed his cool hands on the burning skin of Misaki's hips increasing the pace of his movements, every breath growing shallow and husky while he soaked in his lover's loud moans. Misaki reached up slightly behind himself wrapping his arms around the man's neck and leaned his head back and to the right so his pink lips could mold against Usami's again.

The lovers fell into their sea of lust showing one another how much they truly loved and missed the other. It was something Misaki found he missed greatly and he made a promise to never push this man away again like he had mistakenly done in the past few weeks.

Too lost in their physical passion the two did not notice the front door Misaki had accidentally left slightly ajar. They didn't hear the footsteps outside the apartment door and they didn't see the pair of brown eyes that watched the display in absolute horror.

* * *

**Yes! Chapter 15 is done. I hope everyone liked it and are proud that Misaki took a stand for himself. I really think he started to understand that Katsuo got away with everything and needed to learn he couldn't do that forever. So by making the mistake of using Misaki he ended up losing him as a friend. But this is far from the end and things are going to get crazier. There was no way I was going to let Katsuo slid for what he did, no way. Misaki was smart and easily saw the truth about Katsuo. Sure, he thought he was a nice guy, but he wasn't blind to the flaws either.  
Heads up for anyone who was curious as to why Katsuo is the way will be explained more in the next chapter.  
Did I surprise anyone with the ending? Share your thoughts with a review and thank you for reading. Also if anyone would be so kind as to check out my poll that would be just awesome. So far three people have voted and it has to do with Junjou Romantica, sooooo…just putting it out there :) **

**The question is: Who has the best poker face in Junjou Romantica?  
Possible choices: Akihiko Usami, Haruhiko Usami, or Sumi Keiichi**

**Thank you!**


	16. Chapter 16: Lost

**Thank you for reviews and I'm very sorry for the wait. Also thank you to any who answered the poll question. :)**

**Warning: Language**

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Who I Am**

**Chapter 16: Lost**

* * *

_We bury things so deep we no longer remember there was anything to bury. Our bodies remember. Our neurotic states remember. But we don't._

_-Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?_

* * *

There was something really cool about the way the world spun after the eighth shot of liquor that ran down his throat. Although Katsuo vaguely recalled the bartender shouting at him to get out of the spinning bar soon after and then some big guy was punching him. Or did he punch the giant first? What did it matter? Whoever he was punching deserved it because he did…something.

He loved getting plastered and getting dizzy and forgetting all his troubles, but only if he had a ride or friend with him or at least someone to watch out so he didn't stumble into the street and get hit by a car. That's what Misaki was for…

Katsuo wiped at traitorous tears while he struggled to walk straight in the dead of the night. He didn't want to think of Misaki right now, especially after catching him and his land lord...having…sex.

He shuddered and brought the quite full bottle of expensive liquor to his lips and tilting backwards. He didn't want to think of that. The blond barely got away with buying the bottle so late at a nearby liquor store. The sleazebag ignored the fact of how wasted he was as long as he gave a little extra for the older man. He would rather sell a clearly drunk customer a bottle as long as he got some free cash in the process.

_Screw him! _Katsuo thought in his head while he lazily slopped up the cool liquid while it tricked from his mouth down his neck. _And screw Misaki! _Katsuo choked on the alcohol spitting it out on his shoes. He grimaced when he realized how literal that statement was and how Misaki was probably being screwed right now, at this very minute, in that one position.

_Stop it!_ He scolded himself briefly wondering if he said that last thought out loud.

The alcohol was bringing him back to that image and those noises seared into his brain. He let his head hang back removing the bottle from his mouth with a pop. He'd do _anything _to get rid of the image. He'd _give_ anything he had, any worldly possession to stop hearing Misaki's moans in his head. He'd sell his _soul_ to the devil to erase/rip/destroy the feelings that continued to bomb bard down on his conscious every time his mind returned to the event he witnessed a mere two hours ago.

And it only made Katsuo hate Misaki more. It made Misaki an even more fucked up person. The angel disguised as a demon. Who did that? Who abandoned his best friend after his fucking grandfather died? Who _comforted_ a friend and gently placed a band aid on the wound only to have it torn off seconds later. Misaki, that's who. He was the fucked up- messed up- disgusting-

_Faggot. _

The word burned. Katsuo usually used the word so loosely and tossed it into the street like an useless candy wrapper. Having to use that word to describe Misaki bothered him. Why should it bother him though? Misaki was a faggot and an asshole…and he was the one guy that cared about him.

The blond shook his head rapidly, getting dizzy and losing his balance. One foot tripped over the other so the ground rushed up to meet him. A groan slipped past his lips and he had never felt so drunk or so low in his life. He hit rock bottom and it really sucked. This was where the poor, old, ugly people with nothing and no one sat. Not him. He was only twenty one with money and friends and entry into the top school, so why did he feel so miserable and old.

Who was he kidding? At rock bottom there was no need to lie anymore. His friends were selfish and wanted money and popularity. Yet, he encouraged their participation because he's Katsuo Watanabe and he needs people around to see how great he was. And did they? When Amaya-san or Masahiko-kun came at his call for something did they see this wealthy powerful man or a whiny desperate rich kid?

Katsuo pushed up against the pavement flailing for a second on the curb before he steadied himself. His eyes lazily found the stairs to his home. They looked threatening and difficult to climb. With a few stumbles on the way Katsuo reached the top. The keys scratched against the door before he got it in the hole.

He pushed the door open and stepped inside. He kicked the door shut almost falling again.

With a deep sigh he stepped inside. No one was home. They were sleeping over at his grandparent's home with his grandmother. The blond let a few tears slip down his cheeks for his dead grandfather. The old man was gone and so was Misaki.

Sliding down against the door he sipped at the bottle. He wondered what they would say now that he was at his lowest. There's Katsuo, the pitiful boy who drinks and parties but is never happy.

_Misaki, I miss him._

The blond shuddered letting his eyes slip close only to be bombarded with images of his ex-friend on his couch with his landlord. He released a soft whimper glaring at the bottle, blood boiling. Why was he so upset about it?

_Because he's a disgusting faggot!_ His mind screamed. _And all the queers burn in hell, Katsuo._

Katsuo shut his eyes trying to forget and push away the pictures even pressing his eyes into his palms. It did nothing because all he could see was Misaki and his skin. His naked skin emerged behind his eyelids and he wondered if it felt as smooth as it looked.

A shiver ran straight into his groin area. The blond curled up trying hard to force those feelings away. He pressed a hand hard over his crotch until it hurt. He shouldn't be thinking such thoughts or reacting like this. It was so wrong and- and _dirty_.

Usami-san's hands in between Misaki's legs suddenly transformed as Katsuo suddenly lost himself in the fantasy.

Instead of Usami behind Misaki it was him. _He_ was kissing the back of Misaki's neck making him lean into _his_ touch and Misaki was reacting and staring at _him_ with those eyes. They were kissing and he was coaxing moans from Misaki with every tug of his hand. Misaki was staring at him and sighed _his_ name. The image was so incredibly strange and breathtaking.

Their mouths would mold together, just like that dream he had a couple of times, and when they would pull away Misaki would call out his name.

Katsuo pondered whether he liked Misaki. Maybe that would explain why he didn't react so violently when he saw him with his landlord and barge in to tear the two apart. Instead it left his heart to hurt with every beat. It made his blood boil in jealousy over that smug landlord who was freely able to touch Misaki's smooth skin when he wanted.

Misaki was gay and Katsuo could understand why he wouldn't confide in him because of how he hated faggots.

_But I don't hate Misaki. I love him._

"No," he whispered. "That's bad."

_You're not supposed to feel this way._

The images were returning and Katsuo put up no fight to prevent it. The kisses and touches and groans. There was also promise of something wonderful in the end. And Misaki was moaning so much.

_Katsuo…Katsuo…Katsuo_

Yes, he moaned his name. Misaki should only moan his name and say-

_Faggot!_

The fantasy shattered and Katsuo froze. No, no. He wasn't a faggot.

_But you are a little fag! What little boy goes and touches another boy?_

The blond slowly rose to his feet planting two hands over his ears desperately trying to stop the familiar voice. He hadn't heard that voice in so long, but every time he heard it or remembered it all the strength in his body fled.

"Please," he breathed making his way to the living room.

_Answer me, Katsuo! You don't want to burn in hell, do you?_

_No dad! Please stop, that hurts!_

Katsuo tossed the bottle in his hand slamming it against the nearest wall. The bottle shattered into pieces cutting Katsuo's hand in the process, but the blubbering blond took no notice. He was too numb to notice. Memories flooded back and he dropped to his bottom pulling up his knees and pressing his eyes into his kneecaps.

"_We were just playing, dad!" Twelve year old Katsuo cried while his father took hold of his hair to pull him up so high his feet barely brushed the ground._

"_I saw what you were doing," his father breathed, reeking of alcohol. _

"_We were just playing!" Katsuo pleaded desperately hands gripping onto his father's wrists because it felt like all the hairs on his head were going to be violently ripped out. "It was Takayuki-kun's idea!"_

_It was a lie though. He had been the one to suggest they practice kissing. Takayuki and he had been best friends since kindergarten. Katsuo liked him, a lot, and he was certain Takayuki liked him too. The kissing started off innocently enough…_

"_I feel weird," Takayuki breathed out pulling away from the kiss._

"_Did I do it wrong?" Katsuo asked cheeks painted pink. "I read online that kissing with tongue is fun…you didn't like it, huh?"_

"_No no! That was cool," Takayuki laughed and Katsuo couldn't help but smile at his friend's embarrassment. "I meant I feel funny…you know..." He trailed off with a blush. Katsuo grinned, understanding immediately._

_He gulped. They had been practicing for a couple weeks. They had laughed it off at first simply agreeing that the practice was for future girlfriends, but it seemed more like an excuse now. Katsuo would go over Takayuki's to "practice" because he met some girl, but when he failed to come up with the girl or even a name Takayuki never called him out on it._

_Katsuo liked him though. The girls were always whiny and clingy and always going 'Oh, Katsuo-chan, I love your hair! It's so nice and dark!' Girls were pests. Takayuki was cool. He hung out with him and played video games and helped build their tree house._

"_Can I try something?" Katsuo asked. "It's not supposed to hurt. I promise it'll feel good."_

"_What is it?" Takayuki asked nervously. Katsuo grinned. His friend was such a worry rat. Takayuki needed to relax. _

_He leaned forward enjoying the way Takayuki bit his lip and turned away. He was such a girl sometimes, but without all the bouncy girl body parts and whiny voices. _

_He moved his lips so they ghosted over Takayuki's right ear lobe. He read somewhere that it was intimate or something like that. When he breathed Takayuki involuntary shuddered, so it was worth it._

"_Trust me," he whispered huskily, "Taka-chan." Takayuki glared, face completely red and Katsuo laughed as he pulled away. Takayuki hated being called Taka-chan by the girls and his mom, but Katsuo knew his dirty little secret. Takayuki only liked it when he called him by that name. It was initially used to tease him, but had grown into something special between the two. Katsuo loved how red it made Takayuki._

"_I'm not a girl," he huffed, reading Katsuo's mind. "Knock it off."_

"_You like it," Katsuo teased. "Just how you like this." Katsuo caught the boy off guard kissing him quickly and pulling away so Takayuki's face became serene and then surprised and red. It was a pretty color on him._

"_W-What was that thing you wanted to try?" Takayuki asked, attempting to change the subject._

"_Oh, right. I almost forgot." This time it was Katsuo who was blushing. "Close your eyes."_

"_What? Why-"_

"_Just do it."_

"_Okay, okay." _

_The brunette's breath hitched and he slowly reached for the front of his friend's pants. Takayuki's face displayed surprise, but he said nothing. His eyes remained closed when Katsuo undid the buttons on his pants, but flew open when Katsuo stuffed a hand inside._

"_K-Katsuo…" _

"_Give me a second."_

"_That- It feels…good." Katsuo smiled, happy to be able to make his friend feel good like he'd read in books he found in the public library. He tried finding information from his father's dirty magazines, but all they had in them were a bunch of naked girls. Gross._

_The moment was ruined by a third party._

"_Katsuo, what the hell are you doing?!"_

_All the blood drained from his and Takayuki's face because his father was staring at the two. It took a whole three seconds before they all reacted._

_Katsuo ripped his hand from Takayuki's pants and the two scrambled for the window. Whether they broke a leg or two mattered little at the moment. Katsuo shoved Takayuki out first and was about to join him but felt a strong hairy arm yank him back. _

_And that's how he ended up inside his house, hair being torn from the skull by his father's strong grip, and his feet barely reaching the floor. He was crying now too. Humiliation and fear burned in his stomach and his eyes were screwed shut. Katsuo absolutely hated how easily he threw Takayuki under the bus, but Takayuki was safe and probably waiting behind the house for him to emerge while he was in the hands of a very drunk and violent man._

_The man shook Katsuo ordering the boy to open his eyes and quit crying. Once Katsuo ceased his blubbering his father dropped him. The older man was standing above his son, at ease this time. No random outbursts or violence either. Katsuo found his father frightening because of his sudden calm demeanor._

"_Listen to me and listen good," he said setting the bottle he had been drinking on a nearby table. Katsuo noticed how he forgot to put a coaster underneath it. _

"_Just because I've been out of the picture for a couple of years-"_

_Four years, Katsuo thought angrily._

"_-doesn't mean I'm going to let you turn into a little fairy."_

_Katsuo listened quietly. He was just glad his father hadn't hit him. His father approached him laying a heavy arm around his shoulder._

"_So, you say it was your friend's idea," he stated._

"_Y-Yes," he replied, shame building in the pit of his belly._

"_Then he's the reason you're acting like a queer."_

"_Yes."_

"_Do you know what to do when someone makes you feel that way, Katsuo," he continued. His breath smelled and Katsuo willed himself to stay still._

"_No," he answered softly afraid of the answer. _

"_You destroy them."_

Katsuo's eyes snapped open. The soft pressure on his hand had woken him and from the blinding light he could see it was already morning. Hikari was tending to his injured hand. Last night's events buzzed through his head. Hikari was watching him with a nervous expression.

Hikari stared down at her brother fearfully. She'd seen him in worse shape before, but the look in his eyes as he woke up scared her. Mother and their sisters luckily stayed at Grandmother's for another night so they wouldn't see Katsuo in the shape he was in. She on the other hand needed to return home to prepare for school Monday morning. She had expected to see Katsuo, but not passed out with a severely bleeding hand. It brought back some bad memories, especially with that look in his eyes.

She'd never say it out loud, but right now, he was the spitting image of their father.

* * *

**I apologize again for leaving my readers hanging. I hope this chapter gave everyone answers to many questions they had. We'll be returning to Misaki's POV for the next chapter, but as you can see something big is going to happen. Please review again and thank you. I almost have 40 reviews which is awesome! I hope you liked it. **

**Kudos to Sana Lama Samaha who was practically spot on with the speculations. Except for Katsuo's father being gay. I just made him a really prejudice jackass father. **


End file.
